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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to have said something to her parents.

19 replies

falcon · 20/08/2008 17:45

A friend and I were out for a spot of shopping and a meal earlier.

A few tables away here was this young girl, about 2 I'd say who was standing up on the booth, grabbing the looped blind cord, swinging about on it and putting her head through it.

Her parents seemed completely oblivious to this, they were sitting as far away from her as possible, heads down, their eyes were most definitely not on her.

After a minute or two of this I went over and said,politely,that she was putting the cord around her neck.

They seemed grateful that I'd told them, but my friend wasn't pleased that I'd said something, she said it was never appropriate to interfere and that I was being rude.

Now if she'd been say, squirting ketchup on the table I wouldn't have said a word but imo there was a very real risk that she'd fall and be strangled.

So did I or did I not do the right thing by telling them?

And is it just me or is it crazy for restaurants to have the looped cord dangling within the reach of a child?

OP posts:
2shoes · 20/08/2008 17:46

you did the right thing

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 20/08/2008 17:47

you did the right thing

what is your friends problem?

TheHedgeWitch · 20/08/2008 17:48

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bubblagirl · 20/08/2008 17:49

you did the right thing if i wasnt paying attention to my ds and he was doing something that could harm him then i would like someone to inform me and bring me back to reality

if its a domestic argument or child has terrible table manners id keep out of it but i would ahve done same thing and indeed have informed a parent when child was doing something that can cause harm as a parent i think its natural instinct well done

FrodosGirl · 20/08/2008 17:51

YANBU. I would have done the same.

G2B · 20/08/2008 17:52

Your friend obviously didn't want you to embarress her, which is so silly when that little girl was endangering herself. I'm sure you would have felt awful had you not said something and the worst happened.

falcon · 20/08/2008 18:01

I don't know what's my friend's problem is , though perhaps she enjoys the sight of small children hanging by the neck.

Her excuse was it was none of our business and by telling the parents what was happening, I was insulting their parenting skills

I understand that anyone can be distracted and it only takes a moment for something to go wrong, I didn't accuse them of being bad parents just pointed out the danger.

Would it be wrong to write a letter to the restaurant advising them that it might be best to keep the cords out of the reach of their young customers?

I know it's the parent's responsibility to watch them but it's easy to be distracted in a restaurant and they are supposed to be a very family friendly restaurant so surely doing so would make sense?

OP posts:
MrsBick · 20/08/2008 18:02

YANBU
people are funny when you say things about there kids.
i saw a woman last week who couldn't see over the top of her buggy ( she had shopping on the top and was talking to her toddler) and her LO maybe 9mths old was stood up, unclipped, sort of dancing.

i said somehting in case he fell out but i felt awkward.

CaptainFabioHiltsTheCoolerCat · 20/08/2008 18:04

I think you did the right thing - if the parents weren't bothered, dunno why your friend is.

As for the blinds and the looped cord - I don't think it's reasonable for restaurants to child proof their premises tbh.

It's worth pointing out to the restaurant though, but it doesn't sound like it would be a problem if the child were being watched .

falcon · 20/08/2008 18:07

I don't expect them to childproof the entire place and the parents should be watching them, but a dangling cord within easy reach of a child seems like a major hazard to me.

And one that could be so easily solved by putting a hook on the wall to wrap the cord around, if it wasn't such a family centred restaurant I wouldn't consider writing.

OP posts:
WumphreyCushion · 20/08/2008 18:09

You did the right thing.
Would mention the risk to the restaurant manager too.

edam · 20/08/2008 18:10

does your friend have children herself?

I don't understand where this precious 'you must never comment on a child's behaviour unless you gave birth to them or fathered them' idea came from. Clearly you actually have a duty to stop children putting themselves (or anyone else) in danger. Your friend is barking.

falcon · 20/08/2008 18:11

No neither of us have children at present.

OP posts:
Shoegazer · 20/08/2008 18:14

YANBU, if I were the parent I would want you to tell me. Infact I would be grateful if I had my eye off the ball that someone else had noticed and told me. Your friend is being unreasonable, its not you went up and said "I think you should pay more attention to your child before she hangs herself."

Uranus · 20/08/2008 18:36

You definitely did the right thing

pamelat · 20/08/2008 18:37

Not unreasonable. I would be grateful.

Normally I wouldnt say anything to people about their children but if their safety is at risk then its worth the possibility that they may be cross at you.

Its quite odd that your friend objected really.

Janos · 20/08/2008 18:39

Instant reaction - you did the right thing.

Maybe your friend is a bit nervous about confrontation? I am too but in that situation concern for the child would have overidden natural caution.

edam · 21/08/2008 16:34

So, falcon, I think you can tell her that you've canvassed opinion amongst a group of around a dozen parents who unanimously declare you were right!

StormInanEcup · 21/08/2008 16:52

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