Husbands driving

[starzzz]

Hi

Im new to this, and its my first post. Basically, my husband drives fine most of the time, but if someone cuts him up, or cuts in front of him when there really is very little space, he gets all uptight and well arrogant over it... as if someone has done something personal to him. He will then drive right up their rear end, or hoot and give rude hand signals etc.
Ive been in a few accidents when i was younger, and this obvously does not help. When H drives up someones rear or gets agressive, i freak out, which causes an argument. This is what happened on the motorway yesterday :- a guy in a BMW was driving irratically nearly causing accidents behind us, as he was using entire motorway as his own personal space. He then proceedes to cut in front of us in fast lane, so my H was right up there. Anyway, i asked nicely for him to back off from up the BMWs rear, to which H shouted at me not to tell him how to drive etc...and weve not really spoken since.

Am i being unreasonable in asking him to back off (im quite happy for him to drive like that when its just him in the car, if he so wishes) but not when myself and his son are in the car as well!

Thanks for reading

Is there a mens forum like this... maybe i should post the same question there and see what the men say! I bet they would all say im totally unreasonable, that the man is perfectly cabable of handling his car lol.

The last time i had my eyes closed in a car (i was asleep as a child while we were going on a family holiday) we had a car crash. When i woke up everyone was screaming, but i had no idea of what happened, it was horrible!! I had visions of getting to the pearly gates, someone asking how i had got there, and me saying no idea, cause i was asleep!! lol.... i havnt closed my eyes in a car since (well only to blink!) so not watching the road is not an option for me. ( i know i should let it go and move on already, but i cant)

All rings bells for me too. Also have a rational, careful and considerate partner, who becomes a bit of an egotistical goat behind the wheel. Mostly he is a very safe driver, but if someone is inconsiderate to him it's like a switch is flipped. Then he drives VERY intimidatingly, tailgating, revving - basically all the things everyone else has described.

When I was very preg with DD and we car-shared to work he did this once and I totally burst into tears and sobbed all the way to work. He was very contrite and since then does seem to try and control himself in the car - still swears and shouts on occasion and now I have to nag him about that even because DD gets upset.

Must be an ego thing, inconsiderate brutes!

someone did this to a friend when she was pregnant. she was so stressed out by it she ended up in hospital and then couldn't drive for the rest of her pregnancy. so even if he isn't causing an accident at the time he is a nob and probably causing alot of unneccessary distress.

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soooooo..... we havnt really discussed this much since it happened, well, not at all, i wanted to avoid the confrontation. So today he wants to know if i want to go for a drive. so i say sure, can i drive. He asks why.. so i had to tell him. Well he blew up, and told me im being pedantic! what ever that means! anyway...says he hasnt caused an accident so i have no reason to complain, it wasnt him driving like a tit!!! we had a row, now he has stormed off out, and turned off his phone!!! Now what??

He is indeed being a tit. Wait until he calms down and try to have a reasoned discussion about it.

He sees your critcism as an affront to his masculinity.

If he won't talk calmly then you've got a problem, but if your relationship is otherwise good I would have thought he'd see sense eventually and at least talk it through.

His driving is unacceptable and aggressive and you're right to be concerned - tell him you don't want anyone to get hurt.

I've had similar 'chats' with DH in the past, not because he drives aggressively or reacts to other drivers, but he drives - or drove - pretty fast on the 'i know the roads round here' notion. My argument was 'you don't know what's round the corner!' but it fell on deaf ears.

This spring we were involved in a head-on smash while visiting the in-laws. DH was driving, and because we were in ufamiliar territory he was driving within the speed limit. We were hit by a stupid woman who came round a sharp bend too fast on our side of the road. DH was blameless, there wasn't anything he could've done to avoid her. But we had dd with us (just 15 months at the time) and his disabled Dad. We were all ok, just minor damage, but the car was written off.

Since then I've noticed he's driving much more cautiously - in fact we were out walking yesterday and a chap shot past us up a hill doing the kind of speed DH would've done before the crash - DH was shouting at this bloke to slow down!

There are an awful lot of arses on the roads - your DH might feel he's in control of his driving but unless he's Mystic Meg he doesn't know what anyone else is going to do. If he tailgates in anger he's leaving no margin for error and speaking as one who's still got some scars from our prang in April, he's being a pillock.

I always say to DH when we see someone driving like an arse "don't worry dear, they're compensating for a small penis". But if he starts tailgating I say "now YOU look like you have a small penis". does the trick.

My FIL drives like this.

I refuse categorically to get in the car when he's driving, or let my DH or DD do so.

He gets the hump with me for failing to see his Hamiltonesque talent, but I couldn't give a toss. He's not making a widow out of me.

your husband is a prick.

your husband is a prick.

Does your DH drive a white van? Because I am sure I have encountered him on the roads. I was the one who slowed right down to 50 when he couldn't pass, btw.