To want to tell my PILs to go and stuff their 50th wedding anniverary "Luncheon" up their arses

[CountessDracula]

am very

They sent us an invitation today to this without including dd (who will be 6). dh and I both very upset and livid. His wanky father will be behind it - he is a cold fish and doesn't really approve of children I reckon. He wants to have some poncetastic lunch and not have children runnning around.

DH called and spoke to MIL, said we were very hurt, that this is not just A child but their only grandchild (apart from one other who is grown up). That she loves parties and that she wouldn't understand why she wasn't invited to a family LUNCH ffs (if it were dinner I could just about understand it.

They have always been more interetsted in their wanky social life than their granddaughter. I don't care really, my parents are very involved and we get plenty of help but MIL leaves pathetic gushing messages on teh answerphone "Oh I am just leaving a messgage for my gorgeous lovely granddaughter, I wish I could see more of her" etc etc

bollix
If you want to see more of her invite her to family lunch!

Anyway they have backed down but tbh I feel like saying I have something better to do that day

GRRRRRRRRRRR
Oh adn they said "oh we were going to talk to you about it tomorrow" ... er..HELLO ... well don't send the invitation out then you cunts.

how right you are you wise exploding citrus fruit

If the luncheon definitely involves luncheon meat, don't go! Otherwise, go along with good grace and leave early if it is too painful. We all have family members who are a PITA.

I know it is about a lot more than just the lunch, but I don't think them wanting an adult-only celebration (sounds rude!) is worth being hurt over. It is just par for the course given that your FIL doesn't like children much. If they are still around when your DD is older they will probably be more appreciative of her.

I'm with Upwind on this one I'm afraid, while I can understand you and your dd being hurt, it's their wedding anniversary meal and therefore they are entitled to have a quite relaxing child free lunch if they like.

They don't sound like terribly pleasant people, but it isn't exactly mannerly or right to pressure/guilt trip anyone into changing the terms of an invitation, even with family, much more polite to simply decline if you feel you must.

I wouldn't mind if it were par for the course

But elder grandchild was always invited to everything. I don't see why mine should miss out.

Declining not an option without feud

And a child free meal is one thing, but inviting children and excluding one because she is disabled is awful.

Why on earth didn't they want her there just because she is disabled Riven?

I'm not sure guilt tripping is going to build good relations either.

And while it may not be fair that the eldest grandchild was always invited, it's their celebration and therefore they can dictate the guest list.

Are they paying for the entire meal if I may ask?

I would leave it to your DH to talk to them as they are his parents. Let him tell them that you will have DC so they have the option of DC going or you will have to miss it.

YANBU,they sound like right tossers,
Fancy not inviting your grandchild to a family lunch!-er sorry luncheon!

Riven.

I don't know how anyone could be so cruel, your poor dd.

I think it's very odd to have a 50th wedding anniversary 'luncheon' and not invite your grandchildren. Fair enough if you have 20 of them but one is hardly going to ruin things. She can sit at the other end of the table if she's that offensive. Besides which, I think it should be a celebration of your marriage and all the benefits of that - which are your children and grandchildren I'd have thought.

I like riven's idea. Except you should press your bum against the window. Or an egg.

Riven we're on the same wavelength. Now I'm thinking bums and eggs combined. Who can eat an egg with their bum? Any volunteers?

Hey that's a great idea for a party game Riven. CD should suggest to to her PIL's.

You must see if you can get hold of some luncheon vouchers CD. Then helpfully proffer them in front of the other guests. "but I thought...oh"...

Am thinking about Hyancinth Bucket's riparian entertainment now

Their do and everything but..........miserablists.

Take dd anyway.
Cheerfully tell everyone shove up and ask loudly for another place setting and chair.
"Whooops! we're getting forgetful in our old age FIL you cunt" say v loudly in your best patronising tones.

Unfortunately FIL will already have a pole up his arse so there won't be room for any eggs

Agree the rest of us can play pass the egg in the arsecheek

Is it a very grand affair? Or do you hate them anyway?

yes it will be grand
No I don't hate them but fil is a spoilt brat and he can be lovely and can be a tosser. He is very controlling (or tries to b)

DH has just said he'd pay good money to see a load of mumsnetters passing an egg bumcheek to bumcheek... are you all available for his works' Christmas party?