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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to carry my child in a sling?

68 replies

princessglitter · 14/08/2008 19:03

I have carried my 10 month old in various slings and wraps since birth. We occasionally use a pushchair, but she loves to be close to me, particularly when she's tired.

As I have a toddler and find double buggies somewhat cumbersome on public transport (I don't drive, so this is important)slings are also the ultimate in practicality.

At the moment I use a ring sling and a mei tai (square of cloth with four straps that can be used for front or back carries) and find them incredibly comfortable.

I have had lots of positive comments, but sadly do get stared at a lot (these types of slings are not usual round here) and today one old lady actually stopped and looked me up and down agressively before walking on. I assume because I had dd2 in the mei tai on my front, sleeping. I also had someone say 'That can't be good for that baby' when dd2 was happily sleeping in a hip carry in the ring sling.

I'm not the kind of person who likes attention of any kind and I'm starting to feel like an oddity now. I try to do the best for my children, as I know most parents do. I read to them, take them to fun places, feed them healthy food etc. I hate the thought that someone might be thinking that I'm a bad parent because I do something different from the norm. Surely its not THAT weird?

OP posts:
wasabipeanut · 14/08/2008 20:42

Oh I must admit I do stare sometimes although I do try to be discreet - partly because I always look at babies especially ones just out of the wrapping but also party because I am interested in slings - particulaly the ring ones.

I had a Baby Bjorn when ds was smaller - utterly priceless. I wore him all day as he screamed blue murder if put down anywhere and hated his pram with a passion. He'll put up with a buggy now but loves being in his back carrier - pref on dh's back as he gets a better view.

I can understand you feeling a bit got at, especially if people comment but just ignore them if they are mean. Most people are prob a little envious and "sling fanciers" like me!

Fizzylemonade · 14/08/2008 20:55

I wore both a mei tai and an ergo when I took ds1 to preschool. ds2 was teeny.

I got lots of "does it not hurt your back?" he was 10 months old ffs.

I had to take off my coat on more than one occasion so people could see how the mei tai was tied and the ergo.

I was looked at weirdly but I loved wearing my baby and brazened the mums stares.

tori32 · 14/08/2008 20:56

Not weird for your circumstances but I can see how people might see it as strange not knowing them iyswim.
I personally don't use them because my back would be in tatters carrying mine any distance as at 4.5mths dd2 is 21lbs there abouts and in 9-12mth clothes for length. By 10 mths both my dd1 was and dd2 will be way too heavy for me to carry. Also by then dd1 was walking with 1 hand so I used to walk her short distances.
It obviously works for you though so I say stuff the starers and carry on

Slickbird · 14/08/2008 21:06

Good for you! People all over the world do it and it's completely natural. I didn't do it much cos I was fed up of lugging mine around for 9 months, but I did take them on walks in them. If people are rude or stare for the wrong reasons, just remember, you're not likely to offend anyone you would actually like

2point4kids · 14/08/2008 21:53

I get so many looks when I carry my DS in the sling and lots and lots of comments too.
All of them saying how comfy or cos it looks or how cute DS looks in it.

AnyFuleKno · 14/08/2008 22:19

don't feel strange - there's not many people in africa and asia pushing their children round in bugaboos after all.

mymblemummy · 15/08/2008 00:12

I don't think I've had any hostile stares but I tend to view the world in a myopic haze, so perhaps I just haven't noticed.

I wouldn't care anyway. The baby loves the slings and so do I. If other people think it peculiar it is their problem not mine.

Personally, I hate the sight of babies left to wail in pushchairs while their parents ignore them.

CoolYourJets · 15/08/2008 00:32

Some old dearies stare because it reminds them of carrying in a shawl. Not sure of the trick to it but my grandmas sheltered housing scheme were all clucking round me when I had my coorie on.

I used mei tai back carrying a 2 yrold when 8 months pregnant. V comfy btw. My midwife was used to me turning up for appts with tied on pfb. She loved my coorie and wrap slings for number 2 as well, she was recommending them to lots of mums. An older retired midwife told me (when spotted out with a wrap sling) that she and the other hospital midwifes used to tie the babies on with a sheet and get another midwife to pin it on if the newborns were grizzly. Awwwww.

I did once feel very self concious though when hip carrying pfb in a peerie at 9 months pregnant in a local shopping centre.

Hold your head up high you are doing what is right for you.

ChairmumMiaow · 15/08/2008 08:06

Actually come to think about it, my HV is very supportive too. She thinks my slings are great, and thinks one of the reasons I'll be a good BF peer supporter is so I can share all my "tips" (slings, BLW etc).

I now need a tshirt saying "Everything I know about babies I learned from mumsnet"!

babyignoramus · 15/08/2008 09:24

I can't understand why anyone would have a problem with a sling, they look so natural and comfy! I'm def planning on getting one as I live in a flat and much more practical than lugging a pushcair up and down the stairs all the time. On that note - any recommendations for a newborn...?

gingerninja · 15/08/2008 09:33

I can't say I've ever had a negative comment or glance, at least I haven't noticed. Most people are fascinated, especially by my wrap. Unfortunately my 2 year old doesn't like being 'slung' anymore which is actually a pain because carrying her around on a hip is increadibly uncomfortable and giving my back no end of grief.

VictorianSqualor · 15/08/2008 09:36

I love my mei tai, thankfully the only comments I've had are wrt the pretty pattern.

VictorianSqualor · 15/08/2008 09:40

Tori, with mei tais you really don't feel the weight, I had DS2 in a ring sling and it killed me but I can't feel him in the mei tai at all, he's about 18lb atm.

ChairmumMiaow · 15/08/2008 09:48

babyignoramus - I would go for a wrap for carrying (they're so snuggled up in them) and a ring sling for feeding / using round the house. But I'm a bit of a sling addict If you just want to start with one, I'd go with a ring till they get heavier

VS - I agree about the ring sling - ours is for feeding, around the house (as I said) and short journeys (DS sleeps particularly well in it and if he falls asleep on me I can just put the ring sling on over him!). DS is at least 29lbs now and I still carry him almost everywhere in the kari-me wrap - much more comfy facing me than facing out, though he prefers facing out I don't do it often. I do get very funny looks though, with DS on the front, big nappy bag on the front, and shopping bags in my hands!

ChairmumMiaow · 15/08/2008 09:49

Arggh - should have previewed.

DS is at least 20lbs
Nappy bag goes on the back

MrsMattie · 15/08/2008 09:51

YANBU. Slinging was never for me - my back is bad and I love the convenience of hanging all my shopping on a buggy! - but I don't understand people who think it's weird. Why is it weird to carry your small child, FGS? Ignore the staring weirdos! They are the odd ones.

pookamoo · 15/08/2008 10:01

I fully intend to carry LO in a sling when it arrives. YANBU at all.

Sometimes it's a generational thing, my gran is always saying that babies shouldn't be carried about everywhere all the time (I think she means in a kind of 24/7 babywearing way). She thinks mothers today pick the babies up far too much as it is! They should be out in the garden getting fresh air while mum is scrubbing the kitchen floor or wringing the mangle !
She'll have to get used to a half way house as far as I'm concerned!

Go for it OP and just smile beatifically at the starers!

VictorianSqualor · 15/08/2008 10:02

I think the ring sling is good for a hip carry, DS1 is three and it's great if I want to carry him anywhere. (sometimes we go for a walk up by the uffington white horse and DS2 gets tired, so if we had the ring sling with us would be a good idea)

theressomethingaboutmarie · 15/08/2008 10:03

I love carrying my DD in our sling (we use the Baby Bjorn). She's 11 months now and goodness knows what she weighs. She's jolly happy in there and I'm happy to have her so close.

ChairmumMiaow · 15/08/2008 10:11

VS - DS always goes more to the front on the ring sling - I think because my hips are a little too padded for his little legs

Perhaps this will work better when he's older/bigger. Incidentally, I do intend to carry a sling when he's walking - much easier to wear a sling than push an empty pushchair IMO

mamadiva · 15/08/2008 10:17

YANBU! Personally I never used a sling with my DS, but that was because I was given a shawdy one and tried it once in the house and didn't feel safe with it. But if there is a next one I'll try buying a decent one for the first few months atleast. Don't see the problem, some people just like to moan don't they!

Funny looks for slings, cheap prams expensive prams, travel systems, FF, BF is there anything parents don't get judged on? LOL.

Do what you think is best for YOUR baby.

belgo · 15/08/2008 10:25

mamadiva - add three wheeled pushchair to your list as well!

mamadiva · 15/08/2008 10:29

Ooh haven't had that one yet belgo I now have a 3 wheeler after 2 other pushchairs. LOL.

Sorry for the hijack but does anyone have one of those hip seat things, my 2YO DS weighs about 26lbs and am trying to get him away from pushchair but we walk ALOT. And were wondering if they are any good? It's just for when he gets tired out and he's too heavy to carry for long.

domesticslattern · 15/08/2008 10:36

Join the club princessglitter. I started a chat thread on this very subject just a few days ago.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1375/582595

I have a friend who seems to make it her mission to get me to stop using the sling- every time I take it out she comments on how bad it must be for my back!

There are some good ripostes on that thread.

Sorry mamadiva, I haven't tried a hippychick seat yet. My understanding is that they are a bit like the bumbo- you either love em or hate em.

EffiePerine · 15/08/2008 11:10

Any recommendations for a ring sling?

Already have a wrap and an Ergo, but was thinking of a ring for DC2 (due Dec) as I've heard they are easier to feed in. Didn;t really get into slings with DS until he was a bit older.