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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my dad could have arranged a meal out at a convienient time.

42 replies

thedownwardspiral · 13/08/2008 17:33

I know I am but can i just have a little rant.
My parents invited dh and i to go with them for a meal to celebrate their ruby wedding, of course we would love to go, also invitied my brother and wife, they can't make it now so just us.
Anyway i have managed to organise a baby sitter so i asked today what time it would be and where, my mum didn't know where but told me they would pick us up at 6.45, i have 2 dc's under 5, most of my friends also have and there is no way i can get a babysitter for this time so I don't know if we wuill be able to go.
i know they invited us but i just think they could have realised how difficult this would be for us, dh doesn't even get jhome form work until 6.30pm.

OP posts:

nametaken · 13/08/2008 19:14

YABU - you and your brother should have organised your parents Ruby wedding celebration, not them.

However, as they have organised it why on earth can't your babysitter come at 6 and your dh leave work half an hour early, or even meet you at the restaurant.

AbbeyA · 13/08/2008 19:16

Why not do something for them at your house instead?

nametaken · 13/08/2008 19:20

My dad died when he was 50 years old. I would give anything to be organising babysitters so that I could celebrate my parents ruby wedding .

Flibbertyjibbet · 13/08/2008 19:28

When I organised my parents silver wedding anniversary I just booked it for 6pm so we could take our 5m and 20m old ds's with us. Booked it at a nice child friendly local italian.

So if you and your brother had organised it, you could have dictated the time.

btw we came back to ours and had more drinks and huge chunks of the cake later on!

warthog · 13/08/2008 19:42

they might have stomach probs like reflux which means they have to eat early so the food can be digested before they go to bed. big deal for a lot of people.

i would phone up and explain situation re babysitters and that you just can't do anything before 8.

but as someone who's suffered from this, a meal at 8 would totally ruin my whole night. best not to judge too harshly.

ChukkyPig · 13/08/2008 20:03

They are probably like my parents want to be home and tucked up in bed by 9 - 9.30 at the absolute latest!

You are going to have to explain that you just can't get a babysitter for that time.

Do your family linger over meals or get the 3 courses down and job done in an hour? If they're lingerers and planning on being out til 10 or 11 you could always join them later on.

elmoandella · 13/08/2008 20:12

not read the whole thread. but op's parents aren't only ones who eat early. i refuse to cook seperate meals for different members of family.
we eat at 5pm every night in this house. every one of us. dp is left to be reheated if he's late. or he makes it home in time for supper with kids at 9pm.

my parents ate this way.their parents ate this way.

many families do this as they like eating together as a family.
why on earth would i wanna cook dinner for kids. wash up and put away dishes only to have to do it again for me and dp to eat at seperate time.

and as someone mentionned earlier, could be a medication thing. my dp folks gotta take medications within half hour time slot.

ThatBigGermanPrison · 13/08/2008 20:14

Why would anyone want to eat after 8pm? It's ruinous to the digestion.

more · 13/08/2008 20:43

Maybe they are on a diet where they are not allowed to eat after 20.00 .

more · 13/08/2008 20:45

By the way I do think you are being unreasonable. They invited and you said yes without asking for all the facts, which is not their fault.
You could just go without your husband.

pointydog · 13/08/2008 22:29

By the way, I do hope you have a lovely time. You did say that you knew you were being unreasonable

ravenAK · 13/08/2008 22:37

Is it out of the question to take the dc? I know it'd be a late-ish night for them...

If I was babysitting I'd be OK with doing the bedtime routine actually - I'd just leave dh in charge of ours.

Or an agency like Sitters will do early stuff (but not cheap).

I'm just thinking that there's probably going to be other occasions when you want to go out early in the future, so it might be worth the hassle of solving it in the long run, iyswim...

AbbeyA · 14/08/2008 09:08

It is always safer when you know a big family occasion is coming up to get in early at the planning stage. (not much help now but for the future).

PavlovtheCat · 14/08/2008 09:11

We either eat out at 5:30pm, to include DD, or 8:30-pm, so she can be put to bed before we go. If we are invited by others we can do 8pm earliest, if they want earlier they get DD too!

kslatts · 14/08/2008 09:13

7.10pm doesn't seem that early. I think that if the time was an issue you should have mentioned it when they first invited you.

ruddynorah · 14/08/2008 09:23

why did you ring them back and agree 7.10 before you spoke to the babysitter who's now said her dh finishes work late? i don't get this. you must have a very difficult relationship with PILs.

how about you explain it's proving too difficult to organise a babysitter. let them go for the meal on their own and then at the weekend put on a bit of a do at your house and invite the family? do it over lunch maybe so bedtimes not an issue.

unknownrebelbang · 14/08/2008 09:24

If I'm going out with just DH, we usually go out for 8ish, with friends/family it depends. One couple in particular (He's in his 50s, so not ancient) prefers to eat earlier because of his medication.

Have you considered asking a friend to look after them at their home?

Hope you get something sorted and have a lovely time.

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