Only people who don't do it properly would think parenthood is great

[lifeisNOTaboxofchocolates]

My dh and I both agree
Only people who have an easy time seem to think that parenthood is easy and wonderful and brilliant and a joy and a gift
If your child is full on and doesn't sleep then it is bloody hard
If you choose not to be consistent and not to discipline then life is easy
All the best parents say no, It is the easy option to say yes all the time
If you have lots of help nearby then that makes a massive difference too

Just feel like life is so bloody hard today and that our friends (who aren't anywhere near as honest as us) seem to find parenthood a walk in the park.
I'm sure you will all think I am being unreasonable and for that I am sorry but I have to vent

yabu-but we all get bad days.who can ever say whos a better parent?we all parent in our own different ways and who cares whos right or wrong so long as you and yours are happy.

elmoandella- im one of those parents.i put ds2 in with a cm for 4 hours a week so i can do housework in peace and he can socialise.so shot me.

being a parent is the best thing ever but also bloody hard work at times.

cheesesarnie - ditto re nursery. Will be sending DD when she is old enough, so I can have a bath, shave my legs, do some baking, etc. All the things I still don't seem to have time to do even after DH gets home from work. Oh joy.

"People who don't do it properly"???

No wonder we all struggle. There is no properly about it. They fXXX you up, your mum and dad, they don't mean to but they do.

...but most psychiatrists agree that parents have far far less influence on outcomes than they might assume.

It's tough, you get through it, you struggle, and you bitch with your husband. And, just occasionally, when you ruffle their hair or smell them, you can coast it for a while.

Beating yourself up about any of it, or comparing with others doesn't add anything to the mix. Nor to the outcome.

90% of the time I think parenting is a walk in the park, there are times when I want to bash my head against a wall until it caves in so the smoke can stop bypass my ears and just come straight out the top of my skull, but not often.
I think the key is to find what tricks work on your children, and some peopel are lucky enough to find the first trick they try works, others seem to have to try twenty before they find one that works, and even more try three or four to find the best for them and their family.
Once you've found those tricks and how to handle your child and your situation it becomes easier. Don't think it has anything to do with doing it 'properly' though.

as ds1 has hit 2 and ds2 is 5 months i've finally finally finally realised that i've got to pick my battles

and that dh is never going to do anything exactly the way i want it done but to be glad that he is raising the children with me, and not just expecting me to do it all one my own

it's difficult at times but def worth it - btw we always get commented on how well behaved ds1 is and he can tantrum and misbehave with the best of them - it's just timing i reckon

Ahem....I also think that always saying 'no' can be the easy option too. And not always the best one either. And I'm also not sure that there is a way of parenting 'properly'...

But, other than that, you are quite entitled to be mardy

I particularly agree about the not sleeping thing. Soul destroying, joy-sapping, awful