to think my friends dp, doesn't treat her well?

[lovelysongbird]

they don;t have any kids, biggish morgage.

she earns about 12k a year
he earns about 28k

they pay half each of the bills, then keep whats leftover to themseleves.
this means she has nothing.
and he has a fair bit.

do you think this is fair?

seems normal to me.
they're not married and don't have kids so it's not as though she is a sah supporting him and allowing him to go out and earn his wage.
they are equals.

I wouldn't have a problem with it - I used to earn more than DP and we paid half the bills each and kept whatever was left for ourselves. Now he earns a bit more than me and we still pay half and half.

BUT if either of us is stuck for money we always help each other out so it doesn't sound as though her DP is being very nice about it - if I was her I'd just ask him directly - I need medical treatment, please could you help me pay towards it.

Hmmm tricky because with the current arrangement if they split up she'd be entitled to a 50/50 split on the house, perhaps that's why she's doing it ??

Eh why is it not fair.

They don't have children, they are both independant adults.

However, it is his girlfriend and I would expect that he could take her out say once a week for a treat!

As for clothes etc, she knew how much the mortgage was and it was her choice to enter into it.

YABU

My DW and I always did this (pre-arrival of ds and me becoming a SAHD). Paid half the rent / mortgage / bills each, put a set amount each in for household expenses and food and kept the rest ourselves. Also split holidays etc.

Each of you is using half the utilities / food etc and half the house!

Your job... your money.

DW started off earning less than me ended up earning about 3 times as much. I never begrudged anything she spent on herself, why would I, it's her money. If anything I was always trying to get her to spend more on herself. Partnership of equals and all that!

If they are only boyfriend and girlfriend 50/50 sounds fine - after all she is a grown up and knew how much the mortgage etc would be before she signed up. Her DP could have helped out with the doctors bill though.

Completely different once your married and have children.

yes i know its different when you have kids.
just think hes a bit mean.