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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my mil is a greedy old woman?

49 replies

cheshirekitty · 11/08/2008 19:22

A bit of background info. mil has newish neighbours, young couple with 3 kids, and 1 on the way. She objected to their planning application to build an extension, but they got it anyway.

Last week the male neighbour approached mil to ask if they could use her drive for scaffolding. He said they would keep it clean etc. Well, she has said yes, but is charging £100 per week for the use of her drive.

AIBU to think mil is a greedy, grasping cow of a woman? It is hard enough these days coping with a young family, without an extra £100 per week added to the household bill.

OP posts:

ilovemydog · 12/08/2008 10:53

False economy!

She should have agreed immediately and then would have at least had a bit of goodwill!

Lilymaid · 12/08/2008 10:55

The neighbour has to pay for skips and all the other necessities of having building work done, so why shouldn't MIL charge for use of her driveway? I think £100 pw is pretty audacious, though. Would other posters think differently if the neighbours weren't a couple with children but were a couple in their 50s whose children had flown the nest? It is still the same inconvenience to your MIL whoever is the neighbour.

MilkMonitor · 12/08/2008 11:00

It's tightfisted and grasping. Not admirable at all.

Good will between neighbours is so much more valuable and will pay far more dividends in future.

ilovemydog · 12/08/2008 11:04

Agree with milk monitor re: goodwill. Say she goes on holiday and needs the bins taking in, or isn't around for a package...

My neighbors have had 8 weeks of noise from the loft extention. No one complained, although I did get them tickets to the cinema as 'compensation.'

lilymolly · 12/08/2008 11:05

£100 per week = £400 per month?

And the family who are hard up are paying this amount of money?

sounds a bit suss to me

Kewcumber · 12/08/2008 11:08

Wouldn't have occured to me tbh (and I'm an accountant) good relations with neighbours far more valuable than a few hundered quid. Unless of course their extension is huge and intrusive. I have lived though two neignbour extensions and a loft extension and yes it is an inconvenience but it really wasn't the end of the world.

You could rent a parking space (garage for around £50 a week though couldn't you).

I can see that those who have had bad experiences of neighbours extensions might feel differently - though I'm afraid privacy due to extensions is not something you can do much about - you have as mich right to build an extension as they have and they wouldn;t be able to stop you either provided they complied with planning permission.

Jux · 12/08/2008 11:10

What a silly woman she is. After my dad died and mum was on her own (we visited but weren't near enough to come running) she relied quite heavily on the young family next door. They were wonderful, so kind and thoughtful, and mum would babysit for them in return. Any work that needed doing at mum's would be dealt with quickly by the dad, and the mum would chat and do shopping for her. When she was ill they would check on her every day and let me know if they thought anything needed to be done. I will always be immensely grateful to them and my mum will always remember them with enormous fondness.

Your mum is missing out on a potential great relationship.

But, it's her problem.

sitdownpleasegeorge · 12/08/2008 11:11

Wayleave payments are "compensation" for having electricty poles etc on your land but it's still taxable income.

InaMalina · 12/08/2008 11:15

I think she's being extremely mean but then I think the neighbours are being pretty cheeky asking to use it, especially if they know she objected to their plans - if I were them I'd hate to have caused any inconvenience to her and certainly wouldn't be asking to put scaffolding on her drive.

Difficult situation.

InaMalina · 12/08/2008 11:16

What were her reasons for the objection in the first place? That has a bearing on my opinion of her

zippitippitoes · 12/08/2008 11:17

but if she didnt have scaffolding then they would have to do the wall hand over and it would look unsightly from her side so not much choice really

sparkybabe · 12/08/2008 11:22

£100 a week for renting a parkingspace is a lot! And scaffolding is not there just for 1 week - it can be months!
She may be getting a bit of useful money, but like others have said, she's shooting herself in the foot. And when she needs stuff, I for one wouldn't be bending over backwards to help her.

And I had a huge extension last year, my neighbours weren't happy but couldn't have been more 'neighbourly'. Took deliveries, allowed the contractors to park in their drive, etc.

mayorquimby · 12/08/2008 11:37

i'm amazed at how many people on here would be happy for others to use their property free of charge and for an extended length of time. it's a stark contrast to the threads were someone complains about a neighbour parking their car on their side of the driveway and everyone is up in arms about the ignorance of parking on someone elses property. all i can say is that you are more neighbourly thanme cause their is no way in hell i'd let a nighbour put scaffolding on my drive to fix up their house, especially if i had objeced to the extension in the first place.
if the people next to me ever get their planning permission, which hopefully they never will seeing as it's been over a decade, their is certainly n way i'd accomdate them or make their lives easier by letting them use my property free of charge.

nappyaddict · 12/08/2008 11:41

so what is the going rate for lending out your driveway.?

thefortbuilder · 12/08/2008 11:57

we had a similar sort of situation with our neighbour. iur loft company decided on the day the scaffolding was due to go up that they would have to lean it against the neighbours property - we ended up signing an agreement detailing if there was any damage etc that we would pay, give a date it would be finished by etc and had to agree to £100 per week overrun compensation.

all of which we were happy to do except the woman caused me so much stress over it by wingeing and moaning even though we were trying to sort it out and agreed to everything she said, apologised so many times that no one had told us till the very last minute that there would even need to be scaffolding round that side of the house (nowhere nead the conversion) etc etc - she basically made me jump through hoops to get something which i think she had in her mind agreed to all along. and i was 30 weeks pg at the time.

put it this way, because of her attitude i have no goodwill towards her at all now, which is not a nice way to feel about your neighbour - our neighbours on the other side are wonderful though!

blueskythinker · 12/08/2008 12:05

I don't think she is being unreasonable at all. Although if I had objected to the extension, I wouldn't allow the scaffolding on my property.

I think it is enterprising.

mayorquimby · 12/08/2008 12:42

for me the going rate would be determined by the neighbour and nature of the extensions.
if it was the people who we've been objecting to their extension for years, i would make it as fiancially prohibitive for them to complete the extension as i could. there is no price i'd let them use our property for and i would complain to the council/police/solicitors about any and every infraction of their planning permission or legal rights.
if it was the old lady on our other side who i like (and provided i had no objection to he extension/plans) i'd allow her to use our drive at no profit to mself.
we'd be uable to park more than one car in our driveway if we did this so i'd be happy with her to simply pay for the cost of parking our other cars on the road for the duration of the work as t is a pay and display area.

PuppyMonkey · 12/08/2008 12:46

Our friends up the road had a similar prob with their nasty old cow neighbour. She charged them £50 a DAY though for the scaffolding.

They now want to hire a new window cleaner, but unfortunately his ladder will have to go on her side in order to do some of the side windows....

She has installed CCTV, so they are a bit scared of him just doing it!

I wonder does she wake up with a smile on her face to know she is causing such upset...

Original poster

cheshirekitty · 12/08/2008 19:41

Her reasons for objecting to the extension where that she had lived in the Avenue a lot longer than her new neighbours, and also that no one else in the Avenue had an extension.

And also (this one really killed me) she would not be able to look into her neighbours kitchen/garden anymore!!!

OP posts:

CuckooClockWorkOrange · 12/08/2008 19:47

If she falls and breaks her hip, then they won't be peering in her window to check she's ok will they?

She is greedy, and it's not clever to be so greedy to one's next door neighbours.

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow · 12/08/2008 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorkyButNice · 12/08/2008 19:52

I think it's fair enough for her to charge a fee for them using her driveway - 100 a week sounds a lot but if they've agreed to it then they obviously consider it acceptable.

They're probably just pleased she agreed to let them use her land at all, if it would have made the job impossible otherwise.

Am surprised so many people find this outrageous!

ScottishMummy · 12/08/2008 20:10

is that really how you describe granny?no one compelled them to pay.negotiated private transaction.

sounds extortionate

Shoegazer · 12/08/2008 20:11

Good for her, why shouldn't she charge for the use of her land? She said it was £100 a week, they agreed, no one held a gun to their head. People who are skint and struggling do not go around building extensions to their homes

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