to think my ex should have limited say on choosing baby's name

[sleepyoldbagpuss]

ex left months ago; he supports me very well financially but doesn't see our four children very often (sometimes as little as
2 or 3 times a month) or offer any practical help.
I am also pregnant and he has shown a surprising enthusiasm for helping choose the baby's name. I don't think he should have much of a say.
What do you think, AIBU?

don't let it bother you, let him have his say and then name your baby whatever you want.

i agree with fuzzywuzzy

So do I

Is he the father? In that case I think he has a right to help with suggestions. Ultimately the decision will be yours, I suppose.

YANBU! Agree with all the above!

yep listen nod and agree .. then ignore him and choose what you want

I agree nod along 'oh yes maybe' - you never know - he might suggest one you like or that is on your list too.

At the end of the day it is your decision, but nothing wrong with him making suggestions.

Sorry he is crappy with contact with your dcs.

i disagree lou. i think a man who leaves him pregnant wife and their four children and sees them less than once a week does not have the right to be involved in naming the baby

could use it aas a middle name?

I think it would be diplomatic to listen and nod to his suggestions, try not to pick a name he absolutely hates but otherwise tis your call

Thank you,I did wonder if the decision should really be partially his (we are still married, for what that's worth).
He's supposed to see them for a few hours on sat/sun plus one weekday evening. He rarely makes the weekday and will often cancel at the last minute. He's also been on holiday abroad and is going away again soon - yet our family holiday has been cancelled.
Sorry, I'm going off topic and descending into rant. I just don't see why he should have a say in naming a baby he is unlikely to care much about or see very often.
He keeps sending me lists of possibilities via email too.

when I was pregnant with dd, dp and I split up, I had a list of 6 names for dd's first name, with an immovable middle name (Ruth, as both of my nanna's had Ruth for a middle name) he (and the rest of my family) hated all of my first name choices, in fact the only name that everyone liked was the one he chose, which was after his nanna!

Just nod then do as you like

yab a bit u

He is still the baby's father and is showing an interest after all. You should at least consult him.

I think his behavior is fucking disgusting. Are we living in a parallel universe where men are to be treated as feeble minded, weak willed little boys, to be petted indulgently and let off every hook they impale themselves upon?

the man is behaving like a complete twat. Email him back and ask him to show a proper interest in the children he already has before sticking his oar in with a child he probably won't bother trying to raise.

Is it his sorry way of trying to be involved ? Must be a dfificult situation.

Does it matter if he's current or ex? You carry the baby for nine months + you give birth = you choose name
that's my rule!

Does it matter if he's current or ex? You carry the baby for nine months + you give birth = you choose name
that's my rule!

Not entirely sure that's how it works for people
But I like it ;)

YANBU naming the baby is one of the fun parts of pregnancy. doesn't sound like he has supported you with real help.
I would tell him to b*gger off personally.