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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset when my MIL said.....

52 replies

MonMoo · 08/08/2008 20:57

I'm having to stop breastfeeding my 4 month old dd as am suffering from very frequent migraines. Have persevered for this long but can't keep going with another dd age 3 to look after too. So while explaining the desision to my MIL she said......."isn't she worth it?".i.e. isn't the baby worth suffering the pain for. Am I being unreasonable to think that this was an evil thing to say when I am already beating myself up about stopping bf????

OP posts:
noonki · 08/08/2008 21:21

6 weeks my arse... she can't remember,

I honestly cannot remember the number of times someone has said 'they slept through from...' while I am thinking 'hang on you told me only 2 weeks ago you have been up every 2 hours!

Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 21:21

she had 4 kids and fed them all for at least 9 months - 1 up to 18 months.

OP posts:
flamingtoaster · 08/08/2008 21:21

MonMoo you have done amazingly well to get to this stage with the migraines. I agree with TeacherSaysSo about blood sugar - my DD suffered very badly with abdominal migraines for several years and it was only when I realized low blood sugar was the major trigger that we managed to stop them. She had to eat every couple of hours, and she had to eat literally just before going to bed to avoid one starting at 4.00 am. She is now a teenager but we still don't let her have a lie in without eating - we wake her, give her breakfast and let her go back to sleep! My husband will get a migraine if a meal is late or he misses a snack too. So it is worth a try!

Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 21:25

like the idea of having to eat all the time!!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 21:25

a quick google gave me this which implies there are treatments that can be used whilst bf

thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 21:27

have you tried diclofenac? apparently very good if you can catch the migraine early enough.

just spoken to someone who had the same thing and she said in all 3 of her pg's the migraines eased off after 6 months and then stopped completely

CuckooClockWorkOrange · 08/08/2008 21:27

Yes that was back in the old days when nappies were all scratchy and made from wood shavings. The good ol' days.

Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 21:28

I also have no idea how she can remember when they all slept through the night, first smiled, first everything as I can hardly rmemeber any of these things for my first dd and she is only 3 not 33!

OP posts:
Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 21:30

thisisyesterday - did your friends migraines stop 6 months after the birth? As this is when mine stopped with first dd. I put it down to no longer bf but maybe it was nothing to do with that?
Have not tried diclofenac - off to research it...thanks so much for the help x

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 21:31

yes, she said almost totally gone by then

Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 21:35

anyway, am now a mumsnet convert. off to find some more threads to join in....

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 08/08/2008 21:36

MonMoo, be warned, once you're here, you'll never leave!!!!
{mwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!)

thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 21:41

monmoo, the migraine trust here suggests several preventative treatments.

one of them is amitriptyline, which the breastfeeding network drugs info sheet states is safe in breastfeeding

CuckooClockWorkOrange · 08/08/2008 21:45

Yes, like The Firm in JOhn Grisham film. "nobody ever leaves".

Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 21:45

Thanks thisis yesterday - will def go back to GP and discuss that one. Maybe can continue bf after all....

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 21:54

monmoo, someone on another forum I use (she is a midwife) has a copy of hales medication and mothers milk

she said that if your GP can give you an idea of some of the things that could be prescribed then she can look them up for you

tellnoone · 08/08/2008 21:55

Hiya, maybe the breastfeeding helplines will be able to advise you of what's safe to take when breastfeeding. I think the numbers for La Leche and NCT are on here

Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 22:10

The medication I usually take is maxeltmelt (a Rizatriptan ). However, I still have to go to bed for a few hours even when I've taken it so still wouldn't be able to carry on being mummy even if could bf while taking it. Would need preventative medications which my GP suggested were the betablockers and he prescribed Atenolol for me last time but said I needed to stop bf first. Have read that propranolol is the one usually prescribed for migraine though so not sure why he didn't give me that. will go back and ask for it if its safe while bf.

OP posts:
alicet · 08/08/2008 22:12

Only read first few posts and OP...

No way are YBU. 4 months is an excellent start to give your baby and I applaud you for keeping going under such difficult circumstances especially when you also have an older dd to look after.

I think your mil should feel very priviledged that you feel you want to discuss the reasons you have stopped bf to her as they are none of her fucking business. I am surprised you didn't slap her!

Speaking as someone who stopped bf at 6 weeks for ds2 as he fed almost all the time and I couldn't cope with that and looking after ds1. Very happy with my decision in the end after a lot of guilt as it was the right one for my family but if anyone had dared make a comment like that I think I would have lamped them!

thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 22:17

monmoo, another good link here
if you scroll down to the cardio-vascular section it will tgell you some of the beta-blockers that are safe to take while BF.

thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 22:18

it backs up his advice on atenolol, but there are others that are safe to take

thisisyesterday · 08/08/2008 22:20

it says that Propranolol, metoprolol and labetalol are safe to use while breast-feeding even if the infant is compromised.

which are ones that the migraine trust suggest as well.

you should DEFINITELY be able to carry on breastfeeding by the looks of things.
see a different GP if necessary.

Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 22:22

thanks alicet - am a wimp when it comes to confrontation so didn't say anything to her!! She gets of very lightly with me, the other DIL stick up for themselves..... You are right though should have stood up and punched her lights out!

OP posts:
Original poster
MonMoo · 08/08/2008 22:24

Thank you so much thisisyesterday. You are one very helpful mumsnetter. Am going back on Mon am armed with this info and asking for Propranolol. Don't know why he didn't prescribe this the first time. Bet is more expensive....

OP posts:
Slickbird · 08/08/2008 22:28

What a cow!! Tell her where to go and put your boobs away. You've done well to get that far. I also had constant headaches while breastfeeding - managed to get to 6 months but DD2 actually weaned herself off as she just chewed me constantly and wasn't interested. I only managed to that long because they were headaches, not migranes. So don't beat yourself up and ditch the MIL from HELL!!!!