to think that if dh changes his mind about ttc no. 4 he shouldn't rub my nose in it. :(

[HappyNewYearFeet06]

We agreed to ttc baby no. 4. Although after the first month of ttc he changed his mind.

I will admit that I am the one who yearns for number 4 more than he does and it is sooooo getting to me more than broodyness ever has done to me before.

Anyway, he changed his mind and said he doesn't want to so we went through a few days of heated discussions again which ended with me saying fine we won't ttc no. 4, even though I don't mean that at all.

However, yesterday dh comes home from work all smiles, being overly nice but not meaning it, if you know what I mean, and spends the night literally rubbing it in that we are not going to ttc no. 4.

As if I don't feel like shite about the decision anyway. He knows that I am not happy and how I feel yet he acts like a complete t**r last night in front of me.

Sorry, rant over but I am not a happy bunny.

perhaps you just need to allow yourself to grieve that your baby is growing up and you need to explain to him that you need his support whilst you go through it.

You can imagine my horror when my youngest self weaned from b/f at 11 months, I just wasn't ready but she was! I do get sad that I will never be pregnant, give birth or b/f again but now dd4 is nearly 3 we have so much more freedom - days out are so much easier (even on my own), I don't need to always go food shopping in the evenings etc, I actually have more time and energy to enjoy my relationship with dh in all ways!

Not sure what I'm going to do once I can't use a puschair anymmore..........(cry?)

fabsmum,

That will probably be the next best step to take. I will definately need help to get through this.

At the moment I resent him from taking the decision away from me.

Message withdrawn

but the winner/loser thing... I am not sure.
I mean, he agreed to try for number 4. you have had a month of trying.
if he really, really didn't want it, why would he have agreed to try that month?

I dunno, I think that if he was up for it then, perhaps you could change his mind back again?

it's difficult.

Lol Cargirl, you could push your shopping in a pram, tee hee!

I know, dd is 2.2 yrs now and is growing up fast as are the other 2 who are 11 yrs and 5 yrs on Sunday. As they grow older I know it will become easier and easier, hopefully!! And we will have more time to spend together and everyday things will become easier too.

I am not getting any support from him at all though.

My eldest is now 11.5 and the youngest will be 3 a week Monday, the thought of getting pregnant now and having what more than 12 years - just what could we do for a day out to keep them all happy in 2 years time. The eldest would get more isolated/excluded/compromised.

Hence why I squashed 3 dds into 3 years 6 weeks!

His arguments are;

Each child at the moment has their own room.

What happens in 30 yrs time when there are 6 adults living in this house.

What happens if he loses his job in 5 yrs time.

Money, children suck it all away!!

Time, he says he doesn't have enough time to spend with the 3 that we have, although doesn;t make an effort to and I cant remember if he has ever taken the 3 children out on there own without me there. Which I think he should every now and again.

I agree with the money issue, which is always the way. Time, well, I kind of see his point but he doesn't make an effort eith the other 3 as he could have time with them.

The other points I find a bit as anything can happen whenever, wherever, except nobody knows what is going to happen.

well I wanted my dc to share so they turn out less selfish than me, it will also give them an incentive to leave!

I will be turfing mine out at 25 tbh or charging them enough board to make it worth their while.

OP could have been written by me. Dh agreed to TTc no.4 then month in we had some problems in regards to HIS overspending..now he is saying he doesnt want a no.4 and is quite happy with how things are even though it is all I can think about

much sympathy to you happy feet

Nemo, much sympathy to you too. Our lives sound so similar in this case. My dh too overspends (on himself I might add) and I hurry round trying to undo all of his overspending even though I don't work, if you see what I mean.

He came home from work yesterday and asked what time he should take off over the 6 weeks holidays. Well, its a bit late now and should be something he should have thought of for himself and had it booked before we were nearly half way through the holidays already. He then announces that he has booked this Monday off, I thought that was good of him, until he announces that he is going to Chelsea football ground with his mate. He is taking our ds but still means I am stuck at home with 2 dd's. Could he not have taken the day off to spend with all of them to give me a break?????

Sorry, ranting again.

sounds so similair as I dont work either but sell stuff to try and recoup costs on stuff he bought himself. re the hols I told dh when to book otherwise he would have booked after ds starts school.
only difference is our dc are all quite young but I cant imagine having a big gap

Well he has time left to book up until Xmas. He has a few days booked over Xmas already and has 12 days left. He is now taking the week that they start school off. So he is with them for 3 days and then will be there to take ds on his first day at senior school and to take dd back into Yr 1 which she is excited about.

He wonders why I sell stuff all the time but doesn't stop and take a look at what he is doing. I informed him the other day that he spends £1500 a year on eating lunch out every day at work and going to the pub twice a week. He took note on the lunch thing and is now taking his own from home but have yet to see tonight if he still goes to the pub after work as per usual, he better not!!!

I'm in exactly the same boat only my DH has turned it around and said if I can find £2,500 by September to pay for the reversal then we can have number 4, absolutely impossible and he knows it.