to feel fobbed off by gp and consultant

[Isabellasmam]

when dd was born i needed a few stitches which healed well but have been sore since - mainly when doing the deed with dh. this has caused some strain in our relationship as i want to do it but have to be very careful.

went to gp who very begrudgingly referred me and have seen consultant this morning. they both examined me and said that there is nothing is wrong and give it time. dd is now 6mo.

does anyone else have any experience of pain where they were stitched? feel really frustrated!

when I mentioned similar to GP at postnatal check he said to make sure to use enough lube - thought I was being fobbed enough - but lo and behold it is a lot more comfy if you use loads and loads of lube, more than you think you will need and then some.

Thanks CoteDAzur - had 2nd DD at midwife-led birthing centre in UK rather than Dutch hospital maybe? Think with hindsight in Holland because they're so much up for home births, the moment you elect to have a babe in hospital (as I did - simply because it was my first), they assume you're therefore not anti intervention. DD1 was fine but contractions stopped (which I now know is absolutely normal - you often get a reprieve for a bit don't you?), but I geninuely think they thought 'It's 11.45 on a sat night, the mum's not anti intervention, we've got a trainee obstetrician here who could do with a bit of practice, so let's get this show on the road and get the babe out with a ventouse.' - hence cutting plus stitches. Given that I now know (as I didn't then) that pause in contrac before final onslaught is normal, and - far more importantly given that DD1 was monitored and showing no signs of stress whatsoever - if I had to do it all over again I'd have done my damndest to insist that they waited. But was totally up for going with the flow at time and all's well that ends well - result was healthy babe - and, despite sore fan, ended up thinking whole birth thing was a really good experience (over there you have same midwives (I had 2 - one qualified, one training) holding your hands thruout entire experience - then someone who comes in to help you every day for ten days after the birth, all on the state and all rather fab as you can imagine).

allstitchedup - thankyou for the message and taking the time to sign up just for me (honoured emoticon).

I really thought i was going mad or there was something seriously wrong. Why can't midwives just say this can happen and it is normal, there are so many things you don't find out until after the baby is born. I am really feeling very reassured and pleased i joined mumsnet.

in all hoesty some days i still suffer eal discomfort my ds is 3.2 i get aches down there from time to time to

sex life is not really rampant due to this but i do find extra help lube foreplay really helps

and to not think about it when getting romantic as it makes me tense more and it reallyn hurts then

but tis no where near as bad as it was at all time is a great healer but i wont say i dont have problems but maybe mentally i affect myself more by thinking about it

the other night decided to suprise dp and i didnt think of it once only time i never felt discomfort before or after

good luck its still early days x