to think it is unfair of my cousin to dump her child?

[missjennipenni]

My cousin has asked my Gran (who is in her 70s, and also looking after my disabled Grandad) to have her 1 year old son for a week. My Gran has said yes, she she worries about who my cousin would leave the baby with if she said no.

Now, my Gran has only met the wee boy a handfull of times, he doesnt really know her at all. he has never spent more than an hour in her company.

This isnt a nessecity for my cousin, she just wants to travel around Scotland for a week with a bloke she has just met on the internet! Id be more understanding had it been an emergancy or something.

Am i unreasonable for being mightily pissed off with my cosuin?

i THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS WORD WITH YOUR COUSIN, tbh.

My Gran is 90 and travels every second weekend to stay with my folks and often comes down to babysit. My kids have stayed with her in the past at her request and they all had a ball. She wants to do this, loves our children and they have a great time together. I hope I'm just like her when I grow up . Mind you, she had 5 of her own, has 13 grandchildren and at the last count 22 great grandchildren...she's never missed a school play or concert and still does my parents garden (they are blind). She goes abroad on holiday twice a year to stay with friends and always travels alone. My friends call her "Supergran." I think she is the most amazing person I know.

My point is, age is only a number.

It's very dependent on attitude. My parents are 76 and 67 and are old for their age. My neighbour is 80 and is like a 60 yo.

A week is too long to leave a 1 year old anyway, never mind with a 70 year old who already has her hands full,even if she is active and capable. But really she could have said no, although that is sometimes tricky when you are put on the spot.If she can't wriggle out of it, you could just be there for a bit of support if needed. She could always call your cousin during the week and tell her she can't cope and she will have to come home. Poor parenting though.

my mum is teetering on 70 and looks after DS for 10 hours every Weds and overnight about every 6-8 weeks - copes fine but...

a) she knows DS extremely well and her house is like a second home to him
b) 10 hours is not a week
c) she doesn;t have a disable partner to look after too.

My DS even at 2 would be very distressed to be left somewhere stragne with someone he hardly knows and would therefore be quite difficult to deal with.

YANBU. I have posted similar below about my brother who wants my 79 year old Mother and 78 year old (unwell) Father to look after their three young children for the week-end.

I think people suggesting that you look after the baby yourself are missing the point somewhat. The point I think you are trying to make, is that she shouldn't be asking your mother and, if she is going to traipse round Scotland with an unknown man, should make alternative provisions for her son (or even take him with her for goodness sake, he is her son).

Bananaskin, you are spot on, im just annoyed at my cousin. Its not even my mum, its my Gran! My gran has a heart of gold, and i just hate seeing her being taken advantage of!

Have just found out that my cousin isnt providinganaything for him, my gran has phoned to ask if she can borrow a buggy & travel cot from me

Your cousin doesn't sound very sensible. I take it you're going to let your gran borrow whatever kit she needs?
I'd want to have a word with the cousin, although I'm not sure what I would actually say to her.

YANBU
Is there anything you can do? Have a word with your gran maybe?
I know you can't have the baby atm but do you feel you could help out if your Gran insists (not saying you should btw)
Could you talk to your cousin about it?

Of course ill lend my gran whatever she needs, its not fair on her or the wee boy

mugggle - Ive made my gran promise to call back my cousin if she feels like she can no longer cope, though ill help all i can.

yanbu - I feel bad about leaving DS for half an hour with my nan who's 70 - (esp as she's physiaclly unable to get onto the floor for bottom changes)

had to leave DS this afternoon for 3 hours - but he was with an aunty, cousin and his 2 children - (wouldn't have left him for 3 hours with my nan alone as she wouldn't have coped and it wouldn't be fair on DS or nan - and he sees her at least 3 times a week!)

Even putting the issue of your gran aside, I think that a week away from mum if it's not an emergency is too much for a one year old. I left my baby when she was that age with my very capable mum so I could organise a major house move, and when I saw her again she was very "off" with me, wouldn't cuddle me etc for a couple of days. All normal in the circumstances, as young children don't understand why they have been "abandoned" and find it hard to cope with. So it's not a good idea, in my experience.

your poor gran, she's having the p taken out of her by your selfish cousin

i think you need to make your cousin aware of this, it'll be far too much work for your gran and might do her health some damage

Your cousin is quite frankly a selfish and irresponsible cow. Why do people like her even bother having children when they obviously put their own selfish needs before their children?