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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DP to be more polite?

13 replies

VictorianSqualor · 05/08/2008 20:05

DP just on the phone to his mother, she is coming over tomorrow to take DS to the doctors with em for his jabs.

I say 'Can you ask her if she...' to DP.(was going to ask if she wants me to call the estate agents so she can have a look at our new house while she is in town as we are moving in sept and she wants to see the house)

He is incredibly rude to me, basically telling me to shut up, and not just any old time, but in front of his mother.
Then says 'before VS rudely interrupted'.
But doesn't seem to think I've got any reason to be pissed off?

How hard would it have been to just say 'one sec VS, I'm just talking' and then ask me?
Now I'm going to have to call her back, after being made to look like a fucking moron, to ask her myself when she was just on the bloody phone!

OP posts:
Hecate · 05/08/2008 20:09

What did he actually say to you?

He shouldn't have been rude, but if I'm being honest - people butting in and trying to talk to me when I'm on the phone REALLY fucks me off! I think that is very rude. I mean, you are talking, you have the phone to your ear - it's pretty obvious, innit?

Next time, write a note and stick it in front of him.

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 05/08/2008 20:12

I tried getting his attention! He just kept walking away from me!

His exact words, erm, can't remember, but it was rude!

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 05/08/2008 20:22

VS, you have my sympathy, this really pisses me off too - my DP will often be on the phone to someone, and i might want to get him to remember to ask something - he doesn't say anything but puts his hand up in that horrible dismissive way - to be fair, he is lucky he is still alive!!!

barnsleybelle · 05/08/2008 20:22

YANBU at all...

I would be well fooked off too....especially in front of his mother.

OrmIrian · 05/08/2008 20:23

I could put up with a polite and neccessary interruption of that nature and I think he was very rude. However I do usually get wound up when people (usually DCs) insist on speaking to me when I'm speaking on the phone.

noonki · 05/08/2008 20:28

ohhhh my DH does a similar thing and says in a minute in aminute YANBU!

Twiglett · 05/08/2008 20:35

he was on the phone so he could hear his mother talking

you were by his side so you couldn't hear his mother talking

you started talking because all you heard was silence

he couldn't hear his mother any more and snapped at you for interrupting

50:50 VS sorry ..

elmoandella · 05/08/2008 20:39

i get really iraitated if someone interrupts me when i'm on phone.

did he go as far as swear?

also, has he had a word with you before about you on this matter (as it clearly irritates him too), and you haven't taken the hint.

it is incredibly bad manners to talk over someone. and in all essence thats what your doing when he's on the phone. you are infact talking over him or his mother.

if he's never mentionned it annoys him before, or was swearing then he's gone too far.

but i get the impression from what you said that he'd tried backing away from you so he could hear what his mom was saying and you followed him, so he had no choice but to be blunt with you?

correct me if i'm wrong. but thats the impression i got from whats been said

blueskythinker · 05/08/2008 21:03

Hijack*

VS did he get the job he was going for?

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 06/08/2008 09:51

He wasn't trying to back away from me, he paces when he is on the phone, and I didn't interrupt in the middle of a conversation, he said to me 'What time is the appointment?' I said '3:30' he told his mum '3:30' and then I said 'Can you ask her...' and he got funny, he didn't swear, he doesn't swear, especially not in front of his mother, but he said something like 'Mum, hold on, (then to me) Can you shut up, yeah' why could he not have just said 'What?'

I appreciate he may have not wanted to talk to me at that moment in time, that isn't my issue. What I don't appreciate is that he spoke to me like I was about 12 years old, cutting me off mid-sentence and then even though I immediately stopped and left him to it and he carried on with the conversation about 2 or 3 minutes later he said 'Anyway, what were we talking about before VS rudely interrupted!'

Blueskythinker, yes! He started on Monday, has his attestation tomorrow.

OP posts:
DaphneMoon · 06/08/2008 10:04

I would be furious if DP did that to me, he can sometimes be a bit rude if he is in a bad mood. YANBU, everyone does it, if you wanted to speak to her before he put the phone down, you would still have had to tap him on the shoulder and say can i speak to her when you have finished, so you are wrong either way. If he had put the phone down and you said I wanted to speak to her he prob would have said why didn't you say something! You will never win.

DaphneMoon · 06/08/2008 10:07

Forgot to say, next time he is speaking to her on the phone, let him put the phone down then go and pick it up and ring her to speak to her about something. When you have finished and he says why didn't you tell me you wanted to speak to her, say "the last time I interrupted you to speak to your mother you spoke to me like I was shit and told me to shut up"

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 06/08/2008 10:53

Well, by the time I told him what I wanted to speak to her about it was too late to call her back anyway.
So she can't see the house.
He knows now and apologised, apparently his mum said 'Don't speak to VS like that' but he probably said that so I didn't feel like I'd been made to look like a cunt.

OP posts:
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