to be annoyed at DH's lack of clearing up after himself when i go away?

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

i went on holiday last sunday, DH joined me wednesday night. Before I left he thought I was going to nag about making sure the flat was nice when he left, but I wasn't and didn't because I usually do and have decided it's unfair to nag in advance. We come back on Sunday and the flat is a tip - he got back an hour before me and had run a washing up bowl for stuff he'd clearly left out from Monday night (he didn't leave til wednesday), not even the bed was made and his dirty washing was all over the living room....stupidly I just got on and tidied and was fuming and his response was "are you going to carry on humphing and puffing all evening" - which I dind't respond to cos I just didn't have the energy to argue. He didn't even say thank you after I'd spent 2 hours cleaning up after him and packing away our holiday stuff - and I'm 6 months pregnant! grrrrrrrrrr men

elmoandella are you happy that you do all that?

Ginger - you need to get a box. All dirty pants, coins, letters get chucked in so the house doesn't look like a tip. Then you do nothing else to them.
Eventually he will run out of pants, won't be able to find his mail etc. He will then have to deal with his own c**p

i really dont mind doing all this stuff.

i do filing so i know where to find important documents when we need them.

as for the cleaning issues. we had a cleaning. but after a bad experience decided just to do it myself.

i know spend the spare cash on spa days!!!

i'm allowed to get any of his stuff sent away or cleaner in if i'm unhappy. he sayd he makes enough money and works very very long hours for them. so he can pay someone to do his share of housework if i'm not happy doing it.

i just make sure there's well placed laundry bins. we have one in nearly all rooms upstairs.

and i can't complain as he does other stuff in return. like you i get cups of tea. the occasional lie in. and we have a rule. i run his baths. he runs mine. as baths are always better when someone else runs them.

and he regularly takes 1 of the kids to his folks in italy. just now him and ds are off for a week. it's too hot for me in august. so its just me and dd. which is bliss as she's a great sleeper. we have a lie in every morning. yeah

am i the only loon who doesn't mind doing this stuff??

NB he will not like it and will be vewwy cwoss. "Oh deary deary me, you've got lots to clear up haven't you!!" is probably the reply I would use in those circumstances. With one of those horizontal line smiles which don't get up to the eyes.

I'm a messy woman. Would tell dh to feck righ off if he ordered me to tidy up and told me to get the house straight before he got home while he went to a cafe! Actually, I'd see a solicitor about a divorce. I don't live in a show home.

lol at the box idea, i have been dumping it on his side of the bed

Yanbu

and I predict this thread will shortly have 5000 posts on it from women moaning about DPs who are also crap about cleaning up after themselves

Have to add mine:

DH will
shop (but never ask what we need before he goes so I always have to go out again)
cook (when we have friends over so they all think he's a great husband)
put the dirty clothes in the machine and turn it on (sometimes)
stack the dishwasher now and then (brilliantly - gets in 2 times as much as me)

He won't
Put the shopping away
clean the kitchen after he's cooked
Put clean laundry in drawers
Unstack the dishwasher
Tidy up the children's things or his own stuff.

EVER

I have tried leaving an empty crisp packet on the floor in the hallway to see if he would pick it up and put it in the bin. He just stepped over it. FOR 4 DAYS. Until I got sick of looking at it and threw it away myself.

My DH is like that as well, when i was in hospital after DD2's birth, i'd asked him to clean the house and take down the Xmas decorations.
Got home 4 days later (DD2 had jaundice) and the house was a total tip, layers of dust everywhere and the decs still up!
So, as soon as i got in the door, put DD2 down in her cot and started to clean up the room and take down decs and he just watched me!
Had a right old go at him then! He's not done that since.

ok brought it up with DH last night and he said it was just really late on the Monday night and he left in a rush on Wednesday mroning - I pointed out I was pissed off because he didn't apologise or thank me when I cleared up, more than about the mess itself. He said he was about to start tidying and cleaning when I got home then I was huffy whilst doing it (pointed out I'm exerting a lot more effort beding down to pick stuff off the floor with a bump in the way!) so he left me to it!

In some ways have created the problem for myself, and should leave him to do it more often, but have got myself into the habit of just getting on with it because I don't like living in a shit hole!

to be fair to him he does normally do things when asked straight away like hang up washing, doing the hoovering and he cleans the bathroom every weekend - I know he won't think to clean up whereas I will and so long as he does it without turning me into a nag I don't mind.

I do mind coming home to a messy and dirty flat when I've left him on his own for a few days!

My DP is different from one day to the next, I too can leave something on the stairs to go up and he steps over it! But other days he does loads. I went to a funeral yesterday and when I got back he had done all the ironing, we are going on holiday on Sunday so it was brilliant to come home to find it all done! Other days I could scream at him when we finish eating and he goes and sits down with his glass of wine while I clear up!