to think that a week is a bit long for MIL to visit?

34 replies

frans · 05/08/2008 16:09

Probably being a little oversensitive because MIL insisted on staying at our house from the day I went into labour - even though we'd already suggested that we'd prefer for her to stay in a hotel. She basically confronted me about this and I felt I had to back down. She was in our (small) house for the first two days after I came home with DD and didn't lift a finger - she didn't even leave the room when the midwife's visited and on one occasion even banged on the door for me to let her in after a trip to the supermarket as she couldn't wait for DH (who was locking the car) to get to the door with his key. This was 2 days after a long and difficult birth. She's now announced that she's coming to stay for a week and I don't feel that I've had any choice. I'm worried that she's going to just sit there all day creating more work for me. Am I being unfair? we only see her every 2 months or so as she lives at the other end of the country. DD is 12 weeks old and first grandchild.

OP posts:

Guadalupe · 05/08/2008 19:48

WAY too long. I don't think I've ever had a guest for a week, let alone with a new baby, let alone with MIL. She was awful but she did used to stay in a B&B at least.

Roboshua · 05/08/2008 19:56

YANBU. My MIL turned up when DS2 was three days old. I had objected via DP but he was insistent that she would help me. However even if this were true after I've just given birth I want any visitors staying at my house (and that includes my own parents).

As your MIL she took up residence on me the settee and didn't really move. She seemed to think my DS1 (who was 4 at the time) was some sort of unpaid servant and kept snapping at him to get this and get that for her (absolutely no pleases or thank-yous). However she did manage to reach the phone and started arranging for her friends to come round (who I didn't even know). She expected me to make meals for her etc etc and not once even made me a cup of tea. One of her friends rang who had a package for her and she actuallly said 'Don't worry I'll get DDIL to drive over and get it from you'. This was said with me in the room without even acknowledging if that would be ok (it wasn't). I ended up sobbing hysterically on my DP's shoulder. Unfortunately he decided it was down to my hormones rather than his mother's unreasonable behaviour so would not address her behaviour at all.

Thankfully the old witch lives on the other side of the world and I only have to see her once a year.

olyoly · 06/08/2008 18:52

Waaaaay too long! You poor thing.

thelittlestbadger · 06/08/2008 19:07

YANBU. I actually get on quite well with my MIL and was pleased that the ILs delayed their holiday to come and see DD when she was 2 days old. I was slightly less impressed when I took her away to feed her and have a bit of time on my own and FIL came into the room, plonked himself down on the bed, asked when I was going to make more tea and provided a running commentary on the difficulty I was having latching DD on. Grrr.

alicet · 06/08/2008 21:45

I am truely horrified at some of these stories of complete selfish and unreasonably self centred behaviour! How some of your il's are still alive and not maimed is beyond me. Some of you are obviously a damn sight more reasonable than me!!!!

OP, YANBU.

alicet · 06/08/2008 21:46

OP, YANBU.

alicet · 06/08/2008 21:46

OP, YANBU.

alicet · 06/08/2008 21:46

Ooops - didn't really meant to post 3 times but I guess it emphasises my feelings to the level of horror I felt!

scottishmum007 · 06/08/2008 21:57

yanbu, my mil just wouldn't be stayng over atall full stop

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