...to wish my mum wouldn't call my DSs "mate"

[MogTheForgetfulCat]

Hard for me to explain quite why this bugs me so much, but...

She calls my DSs (2.5 and 0.5) "mate". Not darling, sweetheart etc., but mate. I would not ordinarily think of her as the sort of person who says "mate" very much - she is a semi-retired professional person, not a man playing football or someone trying to cadge the change for a cup of tea (sorry, stretching a point to make a point here).

I suppose I think it smacks of indifference - it's not really an endearment is it? She is not a warm woman, and a lot of her interactions with her GCs seem rather dutiful - for example, she has my nephew every other Saturday and refers to the Saturdays she doesn't have him as "my day off" .

It's not as if the DSs are going short - DH and I are both a bit gushy and effusive in that way, quite possibly to a barforamic extent . I suppose I just wish that she was more loving towards them? Even though she is not exactly unloving, iyswim.

Hmm, will stop now, not making sense even to myself.

Oh, and I clearly can't tell her - me and her have ishoos and a tricky relationship, and I don't want her to start calling them something nicer if she doesn't feel it. Just find it odd and a bit

MIL calls me 'kid'. Definitely endearment but really f-ing annoying.

Not as as when DH calls me 'man' in conversation, though... err, I bore your children, I believe, surely a fine testament to my femininity?

I am an awful abuser of 'darling'. DD (2.3) now says it to everyone, but in her cute little South London accent instead of my posh trilling.

Have been thinking about this a bit more, and realised that for me, mate is a word that DH uses to random bloke in the street if he was asking a question or needed to get past or something like that. And that's the register (sorry, used to be an english teacher, can't think how else to describe it) of the word for me - bloke to random bloke.

But if my mum uses it for my DSs, that's clearly not the register of the word for her, and therefore IAB totally U.

And yes, I should be counting my blessings in comparison, loulou

Have also concluded that in bringing this up, I'm trying to address the symptom and not the cause - really what bugs me is that we don't have a great relationship, and I am hypersensitive to any hint of that extending to my boys, which I think I took this for. I think if we had a better relationship , she could call them anything she liked and it wouldn't bother me.

OK, boring self-analysis over.

Hope I haven't offended anyone who calls their DCs mate - twas not my intention!

I call dd mate sometimes. And I'm not usually the matey sort. My mil calls her 'little one' which makes me want to vomit! But if it keeps her happy. DD is already nearly as tall as she is, so it won't last for long!

I call DS mate sometimes. And the dog.

Thinking about it I call my brothers mate as well, and some of my friends.