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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to looooooooathe babytalk?

106 replies

Babymumma · 02/08/2008 19:29

Specificaly from mil!! She has a special voice she uses just for ds and a whole other language which includes: din-dins, tweety birdies, milky and bot-bot! grrrr, it's dinner, bird, milk and bottle. We don't use babytalk as I find it patronising and wangt him to learn to speak correctly. He has recently started to say "Ba" to our cat Bonnie which is really sweet but when mil is here she will repeatedly and very loudly say "Joseph where's Ba?Ba?Ba?Ba?". I'm sure he will find his own way of pronouncing words which is fine but if you repeat his version back to him he wont learn the correct pronounciation will he? AIBU?

OP posts:
bluewolf · 02/08/2008 19:43

Habbibu - what you say reminds me of a pet hate - when couples refer to each other by their 'family role' ie Daddy! Is dinner ready yet? and man's reply 'Daddys just sliced his finger so will be effing sand blinding for a bit'

Original poster
Babymumma · 02/08/2008 19:45

Mercy - you may think I'm being harsh but the womaqn is a complete pain in the arse! She has never changed a nappy, gives him food I specificaly ask her not to and sees him about once a month even though she lives 5 mins up the road. So maybe I'm abit sensitive and don't feel she has the right to override our decisions on things such as babytalk. I loathe it anyway but probably stomach it even less from mil iyswim?

OP posts:
Shitehawk · 02/08/2008 19:49

Surely adults using the baby words isn't "vital"?

I did the high-pitched voice bit, and I can see how that would be important, but still can't see any reason to teach the two-syllable "doggie" or the three-syllable "pussy-cat" when "dog" and "cat" are easier for a baby to say.

Mercy · 02/08/2008 19:50

I do! (I knew there would be more to it somehow , I also have a pita mil)

But as moondog says babytalk/motherease is really important.

If your mil does nothing else at least she is communincating with ds on his level. I really would recommend the 'Babytalk' book by Dr Ward - it's fascinating.

moondog · 02/08/2008 19:50

Repetition helps comprehension and teacheschild valuable lessons about howlanguage and phonemes work.

LEMONADEGIRL · 02/08/2008 19:59

baby talk irritaes the hell out of me and have been trying to get ds to sat something other than " ta" for thank you as I hate it.

However ds has decided to call chicken " bok" as it sounds like the chicken noise we all make. It sounds so cute and funny that have decided that we will just get on with it.

CrushWithEyeliner · 02/08/2008 20:15

christ.

I remember before I had DD a work colleague said - just talk to them like adults from the very beginning. I had visions of her talking to her 3 day old - "Jenny do you worry about Western Civilisation?...I find that ridiculous to be honest. I really see no problem with a little baby talk at all - For example DD says "Jumpoline" for "Trampoline" which is now part of the household vernacular - would you suggest I correct her sternly?

noonki · 02/08/2008 20:16

YABU

Oh they grow up so quickly anyway they won't be saying gee gee or buzzy bee when they go to school so enjoy it while it lasts -

Baby talk is done the world over, it is an innate way to talk to babies

they respond more to high pitched noises and learn to articulate faster because in babytalk you separate the sounds better.

also generally when people are doing it, it is a sign of affection

how do you babies react to it? surely that is the most important thing

it actually annoys me that people are so set on getting their kids to speak 'properly' whatever that is

noonki · 02/08/2008 20:17

should be your!

Original poster
Babymumma · 02/08/2008 20:20

As I said before, there is no problem with children finding thier own pronounciation of words, it is a natural part of them learning. There is no need to talk to the m like morons though!!If ds learnt to say din-dins himself, then thats fine, but no need to say it to him. The point is, how will learn if we talk crap to him?

OP posts:
edam · 02/08/2008 20:22

noonki's right, as is Moondog. Motherese is the way that mothers (and people) all over the world instinctively talk to babies. High pitched, simple sounds and lots repetition.

Snobbishness about motherese is just misplaced. I blame 'experts' in the 70s who were just very snotty about mothers in general and thought they knew NOTHING.

tribpot · 02/08/2008 20:22

Ah, I loved the era of Jumpoline. And Baby Moon for balloon.

I've never really stressed it about 'proper' pronunciation v child pronunciation; ds still says 'beprised' for surprised, 'belarm' for alarm, 'beprana' for pirhana and my personal favourite, amial for animal. But each one is going to bite the dust in the space of a day, and it will be a day of his choosing (I never say 'amial' back to him, although I don't correct him either).

He will be fine. She honestly can't do any harm if he's hearing the words pronounced correctly from other people.

My ds used to say 'am' for cat (in his world, cats said 'am' and cows said 'mmm', I do NOT know why). Now he can say cat, pussy cat and meow. It all comes with time.

Mercy · 02/08/2008 20:22

And the interesting thing is that is doesn't even seem to matter what language you speak!

My Dutch friend did babytalk for ages with my dd when she was little (she felt more comfortable speaking Dutch even though she speaks 3 other languages). Dd loved it!

edam · 02/08/2008 20:23

It's not crap, it is the natural way to talk to babies for good reason.

Original poster
Babymumma · 02/08/2008 20:25

We clearly don't discuss current affairs with him as he's only 9 months old. His favourite book is one full of pictures of animals and he loves the animal noises and I would rather tell him the "the dog says woof woof" (he loves animal immpressions & I love an audience) than "doggie" or as mil would say "its a woof woof".

OP posts:
Shitehawk · 02/08/2008 20:28

I wasn't set on having my dd speak "properly". I just didn't feel the need to speak like a baby just because she did. I also wouldn't have given a "stern telling-off" for dd's use of baby-talk either, Crush; you sound as if you are suggesting that those who don't use baby-talk are insistent on their children not using baby-talk either, and that's not the case. We had plenty of lovely words which dd used and which I still miss to this day. But we still continued to use the correct words around her; that was how she picked them up in the first place.

High-pitched speech and separated sounds came naturally to me when I spoke to her; baby language did not. So I didn't use it. And given that dd was holding conversations (imperfectly pronounced words and all) by 14 months old, I don't think she was held back by the way I spoke ...

Sidge · 02/08/2008 20:29

YABU.

  1. At least your MIL is interacting with your child.
  1. He won't be saying bot-bot and din-dins when he goes to school; language does evolve.
  1. They are only little for a while. Babytalk is a sweet way of getting on the same level as your baby and encouraging them to make noises.

Just be thankful she keeps the babytalk for the baby and doesn't speak to you all like that!!

noonki · 02/08/2008 20:30

but babymumma he will stop so soon-

they are babies for such a tiny time, what's wrong with a three year old saying doggy or nap nap or wee wee

before you know it your be wanting to cuff them around the ear for swearing at you...

it's such a sweet lovely stage and your MIL is just enjoying remembering it

Original poster
Babymumma · 02/08/2008 20:32

You see Sidge, it's not just with ds. She still calls dp Tunkles signs her cards & texts Mumma, and asks him if he's spoken to his Daddy!! The woman is prize 1 pita which is also the point to my thread!

OP posts:
Habbibu · 02/08/2008 20:34

Does your dp not mind being called Tunkles?

Original poster
Babymumma · 02/08/2008 20:34

Noonki, there is no problem at all with a 3 year old saying that. The problem is with a 63 year old woman saying it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Babymumma · 02/08/2008 20:37

He's not impressed Habbibu but mil is very dramatic. She banned us all from her house 3 days before xmas as she had misheard something dp said and it upset her! Therefore she missed out on her only granchilds 1st xmas as did my mum coz it was too late to rearrange everything and poor dp was devastated as she didn't speak to us for 2 whole months! Two months is a long time out of a teeny babys life. So, we kind of put up with her so as not to rock the boat which is why I'm on here ranting about her rather than upsetting her again.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 02/08/2008 20:42

Ah. Explains why the whole thing riles you, then!

noonki · 02/08/2008 20:52

now I understand!

so is it your MIL who is the problem or the babytalk ?

now I HATE it when my FIL, who I have problems, with tries to pretend to know about our kids when he has hardly met them...

Ebb · 02/08/2008 21:01

I looked after a little girl who struggled with her s's at about 18mths hence I was Doo ( Sue) and stables were dabbles which was cute but if her Dad said 'let's go to the dabbles' she would get really cross. 'it's not dabbles - it's DABBLES!' She was intelligent enough to know it wasn't right and she got very frustrated if she thought someone was taking the mick!

She said hecticopter for helicopter.

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