To sit here on mumsnet, listening to DD give DP a hard time upstairs

[lucyellensmum]

He does bedtime now, because DD wants it that way. He is far far to soft on her and the past few weeks she has been difficult. I can hear her giving hima hard time, not going to sleep.

I am sitting here thinking i should go up, but i know it wont help - is it very wrong of me to let him struggle, seeing as this problem is partly of his own making.

What do i do?

Stat here.
I am upstairs listening to dh struggle with the new tile cutter, lol!

Leave him to it, unless he is happy to admit he has knackered up bedtimes, you are the goddess of all things important and he will do as told in future instead of arsing about and letting dd give him hell!!

Stay here if it wont help by going upstairs, but make him a cuppa and give him a cuddle when he comes back down

Nah. Leave him to it. DH is crap at bedtime. He still thinks (and this will make you laugh) that one story, a good night kiss and walking out of the room will do the trick. Not really ...he does! . He refuses to use the stratjacket, whip and chair that I provide for him....

I sit downstairs every night. I just make sure he knows I appreciate it when he comes back.

I do feel guilty that he is struggling, but i had it for 2.5 years until he waded in and "took over " bedtime. I have just popped up because they came out to the bathroom, she had done a poo, asked him if he needed help but he told me to go downstairs. He is stressed, i can tell.

So ive just opened a beer!

There is a part of me that thinks, "yes, stitch that, Mr "i think its easier to give her her own way because she wont cry and get upset", you deal with it

There is another part of me that thinks, fucking hell, there goes another evening where i dont get any time with DP.

And another part of me that thinks, poor sod, hes knackered, been at work all day, DD has gotten overtired and he is now up there battling whilst i relax (im not very relaxed though - will be after this beer )

Another part of me that is thankful that i have such a lovely partner who is willing to be such a fantastic daddy, even if i do think he is too soft and doing himself and DD no favours whatsoever.

this is going to turn into one of those nights where i feel that oral bargaining is the only option

have followed another of your threads about your soft dp and without a doubt he should be left to cope, you enjoy that beer - esp as you did offer -bad girl- and he told you to go down.

Good on him for trying with dd tho!

its all quiet up there now - part of the problem is that she is still in our room - am going to have to get her a room sorted (not straightforward as there are logistics and politics to contend with). But she woke up and needed to come into our bed last night.

Thing is, im worried it might get even worse when she is in her own room

Stay here. She is his DD too. He is her parent. It's his turn.

I have become aware that DS dad is softer at bedtime than I am, and have gently but firmly told him not to be (he only does bedtime when I am going out as he doesn't live here). All rules have always gone out the window should DS be ill or genuinely distressed but DS has lately worked that one out and begun to produce convincing imitations of anguish from his bedroom which, when I go up to check, resolve immediately into 'Mummy, tell me a story/Mummy I want an ice cream'.