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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for thinking that it is ok that the NHS look after their own? Or do they not?

124 replies

GreenEggsAndSpam · 31/07/2008 21:14

My personal experience of my DH working in the NHS is that once we are at the appt/treatment stage and medics see his NHS ID badge, we get speedier treatment, more time, better explanations (DH is not medically qualified himself). I got a private room after DC1 was born when I was not in clinical need of one (once he mentioned he worked for the NHS). Our concerns seem to be taken more seriously if DP takes the DC's to appts (and visibly wears his badge) rather than me, even when I am more clear and persistent than him in discussions etc.

Now, is it because there are pretty few perks to being an NHS employee, that the 'taking care of their own' seems like just the least people can do, or is it wrong and to be discouraged?

I am not suggesting that people are bumped up lists or that medical opinion is over-ruled in any way, just that some NHS staff will give a little more if they are dealing with colleagues...

OP posts:

PCOmNomNASWM · 01/08/2008 23:28

llol at teeth

NoseyHelen · 01/08/2008 23:43

Put your teeth back in - now YABU!

PCOmNomNASWM · 01/08/2008 23:45

hehehehe

ScottishMummy · 01/08/2008 23:46

you no likey the teeth?ach well put your falsies away then and don't be unreasonable

NoseyHelen · 01/08/2008 23:51

I'm really surprised by this...

I'm not sure why you're being like this - and I don't care why so please don't explain. I'll let you have your thread back to play with with your mates.

thumbwitch · 02/08/2008 00:22

for the record I would just like to say that when I was given my free private room post-delivery, I was also the furthest away from the nurses/MW station and alone on that corridor, i.e. there were 3 other empty private rooms there. So I do not feel that I was in any way depriving someone else.

And as to getting the physion appt ealier - well, there wouldn't have been many people who could have got to the physio dept in 2 minutes. So no, I don't think I was depriving anyone there either.

PCOmNomNASWM · 02/08/2008 00:31

I got lostr over the teteh thing, I thouthg ti was a joke?

enbarased for layghing now

thumbwitch · 02/08/2008 00:33

PCO-toolong - it was a joke, don't be or - I think someone just lost their sense of humour over it.

PCOmNomNASWM · 02/08/2008 00:43

well I got a room for both DS afte bitht

and when DS1 needed emerg surgey at 6 ayds old I alnready knew the pades surgeon on first nams terms - but she dindt treamt me spcially - infact she was just as blucnt as in meetings

aftercare with DS1 was hard infact - cos I becaem v drepress - 2 months in ICU and then HDU - ting to exzpress millk - and I was trated as stff not patient. I needed the patient stuff.

DS2 came along and again had congital suiff. was able to chose date and ime wiht cons when his turmour was removeed. But again fater care was hard. cos tey expected me to bethe manager and I was the mum and eeded tlc

dh had not had any prviilidges dspi9te extensxive treamtnet over time I have known him - 17 years. Wonder what will hjapen at transplant stage - if heis every fit - and circs are rigt?

interesitng all this

prob say far too mhcn

ignore moe

wine takne

skybright · 02/08/2008 00:44

I don't think i have ever really recieved any better treatment, actually i think if anything telling general trained staff that your a MHN makes them act a bit funny with you.The whole "not a proper nurse " thing

PCOmNomNASWM · 02/08/2008 00:47

waves at skybnright - intesterd

PCOmNomNASWM · 02/08/2008 00:48

I am in secondary care management - and its not allooweed to have mental health probs if you work in ehat area. they dont know hwo to deal with you (me). so now deiced I do not fit the criteria for treatment.

its all funny really

eidsvold · 02/08/2008 06:11

my dd1 was born in a hospital where my dh had worked for a number of years but had by this time moved on. I got a private room after dd1 was born as she was rushed to ICU and was there and in SCBU for three weeks. I was given the room so I did not have to be on a ward watching other mothers with their babes whilst mine was in ICU. Had all the rooms been taken then I would not have been given a room.

My dh works at the hospital where dd1 now has all her outpatient appts and we get no extra care - in fact at one point I had to write to the hospital CEO and complain about our treatment. Cue much embarrassment etc. BUT we are seen no earlier than anyone else and we wait our turn like everyone else. Dh does not like to make a big deal about working there so usually does not wear his badge etc. As he does not work in outpatients - most people do not know him. If we have a particularly trying time - with a registrar or wait - then I tell him he is now experiencing at the point of delivery of services and can go back and tell the bureaucrats what is what.

So we are not taking anyone else's place or slot. We are waiting our turn like everyone else.

I was due to have dd2 in the hospital dh worked in when we left to live in Australia - so not sure if we would have had any preferential treatment - would have remained to be seen.

wombleprincess · 02/08/2008 07:56

no its not ok. this thread makes me really cross! You've chosen to work in the NHS and with that the principles that the NHS stands for e.g. free at the point of need, according to need etc. We all pay tax, we should all get the same service.

Additionally, its not true that there arent many perks, better maternity leave, far better and more secure pension arrangements to start with.

Cies · 02/08/2008 09:20

Would it be true in some of the cases above that you just know how to work the system better?

EG, all those who got private rooms, were they just offered to you, or did you know about them and ask for them?

Ditto getting an appointment earlier. Did you know about the cancelation line, and call it, or were you told?

I ask because my aunt is consultant radiologist and my uncle GP. My brother was having awful pains in his hip and groin, and after getting nowhere for a while, GP uncle said 'look, pay the money for a private consultation.'

He did, and was quickly diagnosed with bone cancer. At that point, consultant radiologist aunt was great at helping getting appointments for scans and explaining what they meant.

In this case, and in many, I think having someone in the system to tell you where to go and how to act in each case helps a lot. If my brother had waited for his NHS appointment, he'd have been there for 4 months. As it was, in two weeks he had a diagnosis.

madness · 02/08/2008 09:40

ha-ha had to laugh about the comment from Hana that this doesn't happen at school. It certainly is the case with a boy whose father is a teacher at the school!!!

I think that some of the "perks" you get in the NHS is not so much because you work in the NHS but the fact that you know the "medical side " of it . So on occasions you can disagree with thwem and " demand something else and you have the facts to back you up.

sherbetdipdab · 02/08/2008 10:18

I think it happens that as staff we can be seen at the end of clinics or during break times, that is always what happened with me and with other colleagues. It doesn't fast track your treatment but if you have a question or something like a mole you want checked you can say 'Hey, take a look at this, what do you think...?'

I've never had a private room and actually they forgot to feed me for 2 days in the maternity hospital and DH had to bring up emergency rations. And people can be very off with us or nervous and jumpy if they know who DH is so its usually better for us to keep it quiet.

But if I need an appointment changed I do explain that DH has a theatre list or whatever that day and I have no transport and they are usually happy to change it to a more convenient time. But I think that would happen for everybody if they needed it.

3monkeys · 02/08/2008 10:19

I wish there was better maternity leave in the NHS! I paid for my own locum when I was off with DD and DS2 and after DS1 went back to work at 7 weeks cos I had no money!!

I did get a private room at the hospital when I had them and always saw consultant but that's not much of a perk

ScottishMummy · 02/08/2008 10:40

teeth quip was intended as a joke not meant to denigrate those with dental "issues".my black (nhs)sense of humour

and no i have never received fast track, first dibs, when i have met staff who rotated to my ward and recognised me but no additional niceties

if anything made interactions bit awkward

ScottishMummy · 02/08/2008 10:47

paid for your own locum?blimey how does that work.what were circumstance of that?

i had pt locum cover to cover my ft post, trust paid

emma1977 · 02/08/2008 11:20

3monkeys- I take it you're a GP partner?

eidsvold · 02/08/2008 11:25

I did know about the amenity rooms but did not know think that I would be more entitled to one given my situation. I did not ask for one - I was given one. I guess having a child in ICU in cardiac failure with all sorts of things going on - the staff figured not having to share a ward with mothers and babies was probably very helpful.

lou031205 · 02/08/2008 15:39

Wombleprincess - if there was a patient in genuine need for a private room, they would get first call on it. But if it is a private room sat empty because no-one has booked it, then the maternity team tend to allocate it to a mum who is NHS staff.

In my case, I had DD at 01.00, and was moved around to antenatal (6 bed bay). At 10.30 am the next day (34 hours post-birth) I was told that I was being moved to a private room and that they "like to look after their own".

Whether that was because I was NHS staff solely, or the fact that being a nurse I had pointed out my daughter's jaundice which the midwife hadn't noticed, and therefore was not going to be allowed home in the foreseeable future, I don't know. I certainly didn't make a point of stating that I was a nurse, but your antenatal notes ask for your occupation.

My DD was just over 4 weeks prem, so we had to stay 5 days for treatment for her jaundice. Yes, perhaps my knowledge of the system played to my advantage, because I knew how to negotiate having her treatment done beside my bed rather than SCBU admission, and I knew how to negotiate being released earlier than they would have liked (promised to be alert to signs and symptoms of worsening jaundice, and return - am sure being a nurse reassured them).

I am also sure that being a nurse helped me negotiate with the consultant overnight release between phototherapy sessions, because I knew what questions to ask, and was confident enough to point out that they were only treating her in the day, so her overnight stay was simply a hotel bed whilst waiting for a blood test.

But I am sure that if you worked in a legal setting, you would know exactly which lawyer to get, and what to ask for. It is no different.

I would never queue jump by virtue of my profession, but it is not the same thing as accepting a private room or free photograph.

NigellaTheOriginal · 02/08/2008 15:44

nope. still the same incompetant admin system the general public gets.
although once seen by Dr/nurses and they know i am 'one of them' they stop talking at me like i'm stupid.

TheProvincialLady · 02/08/2008 16:38

I was a PA to the Chief Exec of...a Trust. She travelled first class.

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