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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is totally wrong?

11 replies

LollipopViolet · 30/07/2008 20:23

Coming home from work today, on my second bus, and a dad and his two DD's are sitting in front of me. The first thing that struck me was the one girl, who I'd say was only 2 or 3, was squashed between her dad and sister. I might be barking up the wrong tree, but I thought that it would've been more sensible to use the sets of seats facing each other so they had more room.

Anyway, that wasn't what upset me. The younger of the 2 girls was obviously tired, she kept falling asleep leaning on her dad or sister. The firs time it happens, I see the dad place his hand on her forehead, and FORCE her head back, semi-shouting at her to "wake up!". It wasn't that he wanted her awake that bothered me, well it did but I'll come back to it in a minute, it was the force he used on her head and neck!

She continues falling asleep, aand at one point the dad leans forward. This little girl was so tired she just flopped sideways, so her head was behind her dad. He goes to sit back, GRABS the girls' jacket and pulls her towards hime with great force and shouts "WILL YOU WAKE UP!". A little time passes and he says "S*d you, we'll leave you on the bus." and "You sleep at STUPID times!". The girls sister then starts teasing, poking, pulling hair, "we'll leave you on the bus" type things, as they do, and the younger girl slaps her sisters' arm. This gets her a slapped hand and her sister is told to stop.

It just saddened me to see someone being so forceful with such a young child. Surely if he knew she slept at that time he'd make sure he was at home, or at least put her in a buggy and let her sleep? It was so sad, nearly made me cry but I was too scared to say anything. I wish I had now because I keep thinking of what this little girl might be going through at home.

PS: I do understand that sometimes you don't want children asleep during the day, because they won't sleep at night, but to be so forceful was just....

I really wish I'd said something now

OP posts:
FioFio · 30/07/2008 20:25

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ImnotOK · 30/07/2008 20:26

I have a 2 year old and can't imagine shouting at her for been tired .

I know maybe he was tired hot or stressed but it just upsets me .

whatdayisit · 30/07/2008 20:29

He'd probably been threatened by mum as to what would happen if he let her sleep that close to bedtime.

Dad obviously didn't handle it well, but he was tired too?

meep · 30/07/2008 20:29

I have vomit in my bra so I'd really prefer if you came home from the pub now

meep · 30/07/2008 20:30

bugger - just posted on wrong thread

Teach me to have too many conversations open at once!

FioFio · 30/07/2008 20:34

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Shitehawk · 30/07/2008 20:37

She might have been a little bugger all day, and he was at the end of his tether with her.

You can't judge anyone's parenting based on such a small snapshot of their lives. Good job really, otherwise everyone would know think I was a really crap mother ...

RustyBear · 30/07/2008 20:40
meep · 30/07/2008 20:51

this one again!

noonki · 30/07/2008 21:01

lollipop that would have upset me too

I often keep my 2 year old awake near the end of the day but by singing and playing and oK poking now and again in the car

but not by yelling

kitsmummy · 30/07/2008 21:15

I think he sounds an arse and there's no excuse for behaviour like that.

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