I took my two DDs to my dad's house in France for a 2 week holiday but brought us home a week early yesterday. The house is part of a group of houses which he all owns and rents them out as holiday gites. There were guests in both the gites, each with children aged 18 months, 3 year, 4 years and 6 years. My DDs are 2 & 3 years. We left the the following reasons:
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He totally ignored my children and would hide in his study all day. When he did emerge he would chastise them about something or tell them not to do something. His tone is alway very abrupt and his reasons were often very flimsy (e.g. the two of them playing with a bucket of stones and some water in the courtyard caused him to tell them to stop - they were just cleaning the stones, so there was no throwing, screaming or any hideous behaviour). I spent the entire time feeling stressed that he'd bollock them for something each time he emerged.
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My step-mum kept telling me what to do with the children in a kind of didactic manner and related to everything I did with them.
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Step-mum also hugely patronsising.
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Dad and step-mum just bitch and judge all the people that stay at their gites, unless they fit into their categories of acceptability (i.e. intellectual and cultural snobs who would rather chop their own heads off than relax for two weeks by the pool doing nothing). Basically, if anyone stayed put in their holiday home during their stay they bitched about it. Now, seeing as this was my intention (i.e. staying put and having some quality playtime with my DDs) I began to feel hugely unwelcome if I didn't clear out of the house for half the day, but there was nothing to do or go to without driving for bloody hours.
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My two were sharing a room and due to the change in location, the heat, the fact that they're not used to sharing rooms and general holiday excitement they were hard to settle each night and it would take up to an hour and a half to get them to go to sleep. This is very unusual for them and I tried every trick in the book, including changing rooms, seperating them so one was in my room, leaving one downstairs watching a DVD (cue barely veiled comments about "why would anyone want to watch TV on holiday..."). Our rooms were at the very top of the house, at my request so that we would not disturb anyone. Despite all this it was always hard work and my two would scream and it was not pleasant. However, you COULD NOT hear this from downstairs and I also closed the windows to minimise any disturbance through them too. Despite this my dad - who basically was pissed off that I was busy settling them rather than sitting with him and his wife listening to them bitch the night away - told me that I HAD to sort out your children's behaviour "because I'm not having my guests complaining because of your children" add on to that, "They are paying guests. You are not. That's the deal."
What more could I have possibly done?
These are the same guests who's kids were also creating at the same time. The same guests whose children I'd entertained giving the parents an hour or so to themselves each day. Of course I accept that as paying guests they don't want to be disturbed but I genuinely don't think they were and I made every single effort I could to try and minimise any disruption.
During the day their behaviour was great - I worked hard to make sure they didn't cause any noise and spent the entire time clearing up anything that could be considered messy. It was bloody hard work.
I made my feelings very clear about how I felt and he then hid from me for the rest of the time I was there.
So I brought us home. Sick of his obvious dislike of my children, sick of constantly being on edge around him and sick of trying to be someone I'm not just to please him.
Sorry, very long and well done if you got this far.