how long is it acceptable to leave a 7 year old upset after a telling-off at bedtime in your opinion

[Twiglett]

particularly if

1. he did something really stupid
2. he owned up when his younger sister was being told off for it by saying 'no it was me'
3. he got really told off

DH and I having, well let's call it, a difference of opinion

i say, dont let him fall asleep on it.

I'd comfort him. You need to let bygones be bygones, particularly at bedtime.

It's really good that he owned up.

I would never leave a child upset at bedtime. Going to sleep sad and upset is awful. Things always seem worse at night and there's nothing more upsetting than lying awake feeling bloody rotten.

I'd go up and make sure they knew it was the behaviour that was the issue, and I'd go cheer them up and make them feel happy.

I'm a tough old boot, but the idea of my child going to bed feeling sad or going to bed feeling really hungry are 2 things that turn me into a soppy old thing!

oh god I went up after about 20 minutes to tell him how proud I was of him for being honourable but what a silly thing he'd done and explained why it was silly

the thing is he wasn't audibly upset (ie we couldn't hear him downstairs), but he was lying at the foot of his bed in quiet tears (which I knew he would be, so DH must have known too)

DH was telling me to let him stew and refusign to go up and talk to him (it was his telling off which is another matter altogether)

How do your opinions differ? Can you meet somewhere in the middle?

He did well to own up. At some point you'll have to make up, so best to do it before too long and everyone can have a good night's sleep.

oh no, it's just horrible to leave a child to go to sleep upset. It's the worst feeling in the world, crying yourself to sleep.

Don't let him go to bed still upset.

I wouldn't let mine go to sleep upset. So I'd give him time to think about it, then I'd go and have a chat about why I was cross etc etc and then I'd have a chat about something completely unrelated and happy and then kiss goodnight saying 'I love you'.

How is he this morning? What did he do [nosey]

I think that you should tell him that you are proud of him for owning up. Otherwise he will just let his sister take the flack next time.

Then tell that you think what he did was stupid.