to not be grateful to DP for paying for my nephews to go on fairground rides?

[boozybird]

had my sister and her 3 dc's over for day yesterday, went to fairground - dp came along which was an unexpected and lovely gesture. he went on two rides with the kids and paid for them. i had already said i would give sis money for kids to spend as hadn't done their bdays, so i paid for some other rides also (but didn't go on any). he paid for their rides of his own accord, the boys (who are v polite) all thanked him as did my sister. it did not cross my mind to thank him - i did not ask him to do it, i thought it a very nice (if unnecessary) gesture, but did not anticipate that it would require my gratitude.

oh how wrong i was.

i think if you choose to do sthg like that, then the thanks of those you have paid for should be sufficient, you should not need rest of world to acknowledge your generosity, or you're doing it for wrong reasons. AIBU???

bump - seriously, i need to know...

so he expected you to thank him?
if nephews and sister had thanked hime then i'd have thought that would be plenty - he wasn't doing you a favour was he?

Let me see if I have this right - your dp voluntarily paid for your sister's children to go on some rides, was thanked by children and sister, and expects you also to thank him?

he is a bit of a control freak and 'looooook at meeeeee, i am sooooo nice'??

anyone who does stuff like this for the gratitude and applause is doing it for themselves

YANBU and he sounds a bit bonkers

What exactly did he expect from you? Was it just a "that was nice you came along and went on some rides with dns" or was it specifically that he wanted you to thank him for paying for them? The first is I guess reasonable, the second is odd and YANBU.

odd
slightly bonkers
did the bloke on the fairground thank him? i think we should be told

they sounded polite nice kids and they said thanks
geez how to milk the spending a couple of quid..

sounds like he really really wants your approval and attention

Yes, YABU.
I think it would just be nice for you to acknowledge that he has done somthing nice for your nephews.

It depends. If he wants you to kneel down before him and worship at the alter of his generous heart, then that's a bit unreasonable. If however, he thought you might have said "You're a sweetie for doing that." then I don't think that's too much to ask for.

After all, he WASN'T doing it for them, he may have been doing it to them, but he was doing it for you. Would he have paid for them if he wasn't dating you? Would he have done anything for them? Gone anywhere with them? Does he even really care that much about them? Probably not. He wanted YOU to think he's a nice guy and you didn't even seem to notice.

Maybe he just wants laid a cuddle?

You don't need to thank him any more than I do. Would be a nice gesture to tell him how very kind it was of him to take them on the rides.

thanks for feedback. i feel bit better about the position i took on it. get the point that he was doing it FOR me, but frankly, my feeling is that if he'd have asked me, i'd have said don't do it, i wouldn't have wanted him to do it for me. i can't really see how it was FOR me. i certainly wouldn't expect his thanks if i bought a gift for his neice or nephew. i think it's odd.

anyway, enough. thanks all.

Would it have hurt you to say "thanks hun that was lovely of you"??

We all like to be acknowledged for the nice things we do and it was probably part of his intention to try and please you too. Wouldn't have hurt you to acknowledge that imo

what'll you lose if you tell him it was nice of him? We all like being appreciated.

Dh's nieces and nephews never say thanks for the presents they receive from us, he is blooming lucky your relatives were so polite to him.