to want to move from the Asian district?

[Onestonetogo]

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This is rather depressing stuff; is Britain really so segregated now (not lived there for 11 years)? Are we going to stand out like a sore thumb if we come back, Asian DS and white parents?

well you won't if you live in my street Oldnewmummy!

Most of our area is mixed and can't say I think white/english mothers are toddler groups are very friednsly or inviting. Don't think one has ever spoken to. I have lived in many not very neighbourly areas so wouldn; bother me one bit.

Very bizarre that you and your DH think its patronising to learn to speak a few sentances to speak to someone. Very odd indeed. Other than that - live where yo ulike its not a persevereance contest.

YANBU IMO. I like my area in London which is very mixed in every way, but I know there are lots of cities with area which are much more "ghettoised" (although that word sounds disparaging, don't know how else to put it) and I wouldn't like to live there. Don't imagine many people would like being the only "different" person/household.

I'd sometimes like to move from where I live because there's a limited sense of community.

But that's because most of the neighbours are retired and I was 30 when we moved here! Am I age-ist?

I often wish we'd thought more - DD's never had close playmates she can pop round to see.

Why is everyone so obsessed with being viewed as racist or ageist, or whatever -ist?
It's quite simple really.
You either move to where you feel happy and comfortable and forget how small-minded people might view you, or you stay and be miserable just to prove a point.

Over-exaggeration, not everyone is , but quite a lot of people are so het up about coming across as racist, often starting with the line, "I'm not racist, but...."
Chill; if you know you're not, then get on with your life.

Does everyone live in a close-knit Albert Sq community, though?

I have generally come to know neighbours a little - including those from other ethnic / cultural backgrounds and with slight English. To a 'hello, nioce day' kind of level. I think being invited to a neighbours wedding - as one person has on this thread - is VERY hospitable and neighbourly. I would never invite neighbours I was just on friendly-nodding terms with!

I have moved away from neighbours who were actively horrible and unpleasant to live next door to, but I don't think I would feel alienated just because people were sort of freindly but not engaging.

You never know what you might move TO.

We had quite a community in our block of flats in London. An elderly neighbour who was the matriarch of the building, would throw cheese and wine parties and invite everyone from the block (38 flats!). So many people crammed into her one bed flat with everyone popping in for a while. We used to go round to each other's places for supper/lunch/drinks and we were an eclectic mix of ages, ethnicities, nationalities, backgrounds. Everyone had some interesting yarn to share.

Our current neighbourhood is lovely really. We get on with our neighbours; we look out for each other. We don't socialise together though and we're not always in and out of each other's houses (thank goodness for the latter IMO!)

Where we live now (Singapore) we're a rarity as most people in our immediate area are Chinese. Certainly no big neighbourly parties (or we're not involved if there are). We lived in Leicester before we moved here, so very multi-cultural, and it hadn't occurred to me that if we move to a small town DS might be the only Asian kid in his class.

So, better adopt another matching one quick or move in next door to Kewcumber!

Ooh yes - come back and move in next door to me - tis rented so sure it would be possible There's a anglo/japanese family a fw doors down and one of my friends who also lives in Kew is in an Anglo/japanese families so not that unusual to have parent/child different colour combo's! You'd fit right in.

ONM - what kind of asian is your DS (ie chinese, indian etc) - just being nosy.

Dont worry oldnewmummy- my experience of London is that most people arent phased by living in a mixed area in fact most like it.

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Onestone: wasn't criticising you at all! I was just surprised at how many areas are NOT mixed these days. I'm worried DS will be the only "brown" boy.

Kew: He's 1/4 white, 1/4 Indian, 1/2 we don't know but suspect indonesian/malay. Absolutely bloody gorgeous, and much better than anything our genes could have provided

very like mine then ONM - far more georgeous than me!

my friend's ds has been the only white boy in his class. she has not encountered any real problems bar language barrier with other parents. we were discussing it last week and saying how it was in many respects better than my more mixed area, as the (bangladeshi) community where she lives is settled and established. where is live has a more transient population, so people tend not to invest themselves socially, although we know well and get with all neighbours. except the ones who rent, again they don't seem to be interested in getting to know anyone.