genuine question about the naughty step/time out

[lucyellensmum]

OK - so it works? I guess it does because everyone seems to be doing it but i honestly don't get it. So its my perception that im questioning here instead of the concept itself. I don't disagree or agree with the naughty step, im genuinely interested.

Firstly, does a young child really understand this? If you stick a small toddler on the naughty step - do they REALLY understand why they are there? As in, do they spend that time reflecting and then behave better, or do they just sit there because angry mummy put them there so best they stay there - their little minds start to wander and they forget about being naughty/having the tantrum. (OK so that works but is that what the baby bible bashers want us to believe?)

Secondly: A tantruming, possibly older toddler, are they actually going to stay there? Seriously, if the child is being that bad, they are going to just keep getting off the step, no reflection in that - i guess if they sit compliantly on the step then i wonder if it is a game to them?

I have used the naughty step with DD, at first it sort of worked, but it genuinely upset her or she got bored and wandered off. I don't bother now.

I tend to parent instinctively and dont really use any techniques - i would say my DD is slightly spoilt (thats partly DPs fault and partly mine for different reasons), but generally a well behaved little girl.

Enlighten me?

[Othersideofthechannel]

Didn't work for us when we tried (twice). DS thought it was fun and games.

[nappyaddict]

how old was he when you tried? was it cos he kept getting off the step?

[Othersideofthechannel]

Between 2 and 2.5.
Yes, he kept getting off the step. I was stay at home mum with 2 under 3 so gave up because I couldn't enforce it when BF. I'm glad I didn't bother because from what I've seen from friends who have used it successfully, it doesn't particularly seem to act as a deterrent.

[Othersideofthechannel]

However when DS is getting a bit unruly we often suggest he goes to his room to calm down and he quite often agrees it would be a good idea. A sort of voluntary time it which is really effective.

[ajm200]

I put our toddler in his cot when he tantrums and leave him there for 2 mins. It does seem to work a the rate of tantrums has really diminished lately. He only tends to tantrum when his dad is away or he is teething.

I use timeout for two reasons, he headbuts the floor so being on his mattress and headbutting he'll do less harm

It gives me a chance to take a deep breath and calm myself. Not too important with the first few hissy fits of the day but vital by mid afternoon.

[sugarpeas]

I think a lot of toddlers under 2.6 don't get the idea of it tbh. My ds is 2.1 and i know he wouldn't. Most 2.6 year olds i know would probably have the understanding though for it to work.

[bubblagirl]

i put my ds in time out from 2 he understood why he was there etc

but wouldnt use the word naughty it was just to stop his bad behaviour i would say because you hit me or whatever only if he was uncalmable or badly behaved not for silly things

to be honest by 2 half he was never in it maybe once every 2 weeks he had his warning and stopped straight away

if he is naughty i do say if you dont stop whatever it is his doing you'll go in time out and he'll usually stop if not i follow through and he'll go

guaranteed he dont like it and wont go back his 3.2 now and to be honest has been on once in last 6 mths as he knows i'll do it so he stops

it doesnt work for every one but it seemed to be the structure my ds needed

[bubblagirl]

must add my ds has asd so structure is important and helped him define what was bad behaviour and good

so now he knows he didnt like it so stops and does as i ask his very calm now and helpful

[sugarpeas]

how did you get a diagnosis so early?

[bubblagirl]

due to lack of speech obsessions with numbers and letters and his ability to solve tasks that were set also his behaviour was observed for a yr wasnt set in stone until he was 3

but was having help with suspected from 2

[bubblagirl]

my ds understaning was way above age at this stage but his expressing was not there at all he was able to do taks for 3 yr olds at this age and work the computer