AIBU/overly pregnancy hormonal to hate my GP after one visit and want to complain about her?

[laweaselmys]

Am 6 weeks pregnant, have only been pregnant once before and miscarried about this time so when I went to have my first appointment with a new GP (have just moved house and area so was just randomly assigned somebody) was really really angry and fed up to just have her throw a load of papers at me and shove me back out the door again.

When I booked the appointment the receptionist told me it would be half and hour and was anticipating a nice long chat and check up going through all the details like I had with the nurse at my old clinic for my pre-conception appointment. Instead the appointment was literally five minutes and the only test she did was to check my blood pressure. She fired a load of questions at me waited until I said whatever word it was she was looking for in the answer and then started talking over me. Didn't even get a chance to tell her about previous pregnancy as was booted out the door so quickly. She also left the door open for most of the consultation and demanded to know which hospital I want to be booked into when at 6 wks I obviously haven't had a chance to go and look yet or even decide if I want to have this baby in hospital. Generally she came off as rude and totally uncaring which is the total opposite of what you want from a doctor.

I left in a total daze and it was only once I'd got back to my house that I realised how angry I was about it. I'm the first of my friends to have kids and am feeling quite lost and nervous about it especially with my medical history without being fobbed off because she couldn't be bothered to talk properly to me.

I'm going to try and get myself moved into the midwife service so I don't have to deal with her (would rather deal with the midwives anyway) but AIBU to also want to complain about her?

Congratulate

Sounds pretty usual for a first GP appointment - I remember being a bit taken aback the first time round by the "oh OK then" as the GP reached for the right form, stifling a yawn. Booking appointment at 12 weeks will be more lengthy and detailed as to history, and you might be asked how you feel about your miscarriage and this pregnancy. On my maternity notes if you've had pregnancy losses you get a little "sad face" sticker which alerts the medical professionals to be alive to that.

In fairness I've found almost all the drs and midwives I've dealt with since to be surprisingly cheerful considering they do this day in day out. Yes you get the odd miserable cow, but that stands as good for life in general.

Now some years down the line having had miscarriages and a stillbirth, you can pretty much tell straight away the ones who just look at the medical facts and the ones who realise there is a human being in front of them!

If its any consolation, I've always found that first 12 weeks the worst - nothing you can do, hardly anyone to share your excitement with. Then suddenly you're trying to juggle work/appointments/getting ready for the baby and wondering where all that time went!

Ps congratulations.

I didn't see a doc the whole time I was pregnant.

I think you should let it go, tbh. Life isn't always perfect, is it?

I saw the GP to tell him I was pregnant. he put my in the system, got me a midwife appointment for about 12 weeks and I never sau him again. Can't remember what happened with the other 2.

Ladysweet she probably kept you waiting five minutes because she was seeing the person with an appointment after yours first. I know five minutes isn't very long to be late but when appointments are only ten minutes or whatever they are then it is! (Btw, you can wait 30-40 minutes for your appointment at my local surgery even if you turn up at the correct time!)

Sounds typical for a first appointment. There is no way that would take 30 minutes.
If you wouldnt have been upset if the receptionist hadnt given you the wrong expectation then I dont think it is fair to complain about the GP.

YANBU - I had similar male GP but didn'thave your history so just thought I'd been foolish. I rarely tell receptionist what the problem is if appt is for me. Have to say I stuck with GP, but saw midwives at local hospital instead of him. They didn't seem bothered about anything either, so were not v different to him. Then after birth I had my post birth check up with him and it was awful.

"How is it all 'down there'", he asked me. I relpied that I thought it was ok but hadn't had a baby before so didn't really know. He responsed that he wouldn't "put me through the humiliation of a check up then". Well it wasn't going to be humiliating until he suggested it might be. Got out sharpish and fell into DH's arms in floods of tears. He sweetly went to another GP surgery and thre us on their mercy he told them what had happened. I switched GPs and got the most delightful lovely gp in the whole world. I wished I'd folowed my instincts at the outset and I wish I'd had the neregy/balls to complain about the male GP after his outrageous comments post birth.

Upshot is my advice is that whatever you do about complaining you should change gp now while you can. Try and find out who has fab gp locally and burst into tears or whatever you can to get them to help you and take you onto their books. Not least because same GP will then be dealing with you and your newborn and you need to feel confident in your GP and be happy to go along if you're worried about your new baby. Sounds like your current gp will just make you panic and you'd have trouble approaching here if you were worried about having PND or similar.

Good luck.

I waited an hour for my last Dr's appt. Expected to though as it was the end of the day.

My experience with the GP when I was first pregnant was pretty much the same as everyone else's.

Me: I'm pregnant, it was planned.
Dr: Congratulations - here are some leaflets about not eating shark, I'll refer you to the midwife and request a 12 week scan.

In and out in 5 minutes - although my Dr was very nice, the main difference in our experience seems to be social skills of each Dr - if you generally make complaints about bedside manner then I guess you could complain about that, but the rest seems pretty routine.

that's some GPs for you. sorry you had a bad experience. YANBU.

YANBU. I agree change GP now. My GP is wonderful. Where we are midwifes dont see us until 12 weeks and it was my GP that organised and early scan and answered all my questions...

You can insist on an early scan as well because of your history, this should of been offered to you at book in really.

MrsTittleMOuse - when i went to see GP for my last pregnancy, he asked me if I was OK. He said "how do you feel about it?" and put his thumb up, then down, then mid-way, totally un-committal, I suppose he didn't know if I was there to request a termination or what.

Laweaslemys - that sounds v upsetting and uncaring but I also think the 30 minutes guarantee was made in error, unfortunately. Good luck with the pg.

YANBU and I completely understand. I think my experience of seeing the GP when first pregnant put me off going to the GP for a long time after. She told me I was at just 37 an OLD mother who was highly likely to have a baby with abnormalities blah blah.

Very nice.

She also booked me into the wrong hospital and when I turned up for the appt at the wrong hospital, she had cancelled it for me but not told me or rebooked.

I changed hospitals myself at 12 wks and did not go to see that GP again. Hopeless.

BTW, whole pregnancy was normal, normal birth, big healthy baby, and a 2nd baby shortly afterwards, so obviously she can stuff her statistics.

I would just not have any more to do with her, and after venting steam here (very effectiv) forget it.

And more importantly - congratulations on being pregnant! Get lots of rest and try not to get frazzled.

Thanks for all the congratulations. I feel a lot better now I've complained about her to you guys! Think will just stick to the midwives, met a few locals after my appointment and they all thought they were good... but will have to keep asking and find a better/less grumpy GP as well.
I probably won't actually complain about her though, I was probably being a lil' bit over sensitive so... anyhow. Thanks everybody!

I'm sorry you were treated like this, it's incredibly stressful being pregnant after a miscarriage. If you're really going bananas perhaps you have an early pregnancy support unit in one of your local hospitals? There's one where I live and they were completely brilliant and understood exactly where I was coming from. Also the threads here are amazing, so many people in the same boat. Good luck!

My doctor was pretty useless too. She was very nice but told me all the wrong info. She took my LMP, gave me an EDD and then took my blook pressure.
After this she said she'd let the midwife know and she would then contact me at about 12 weeks and would arrange my scan at about 12 weeks. It was only when I asked how she could see me and sort the scan out for the same time, that the Dr said "Oh yeah, I guess she'll contact you a bit earlier!"

It was only after I'd waited patiently for 2 weeks waiting to hear anything that I eventually rang the surgery back and asked to speak to the midwife. Then the receptionist explained the proper procedure i.e. I was supposed to give her my name, she'd put me on the 'list' and then give me a pack of info about pregnancy and the MW's details so I could contact her and arrange my first appt between 8 and 10 weeks.
I was already 10 weeks at the time!

Anyway, I've got my MW appt next Weds am, but what would have happened if I'd just kept on waiting, like the good girl I normally am ??

If I were you laweaselmys, I'd ring up the surgery again and try to make an appt with the MW direct. You haven't got anything to lose.

You certainly have something to complain about. My dh who, until recently, worked for the GMC, says you should complain in the first instance to your Primary Care Trust. They should have a complaints procedure. Find out if the doctor was a locum. She had no right to keep the door open in any case.

If no joy from the PCT, then take it to the General Medical Council.

Sounds like the receptionist lead you up the garden path a bit with the whole 30 minute promise. You will certainly get that as a booking appointment with a midwife. All GP appointments tend to be 10 minutes maximum- I would have to seriously pinch myself if I was told I could have a 30 minute chat with someone about their pregnancy! I don't even get that sort of time when I have to tell someone they have cancer.

Most practices don't insist that you see a GP first. If so, its usually a case of trying to pick out the women who are high-risk and may need early scanning or early consultant-lead care. If you are fairly straightforward, then it can be a pretty quick and prefunctory consultation.