I am really not sure what to do about this. Whether I am overreacting or not? Would appreciate helpful advice.
My nephew has always been extremely favoured by MIL over either of my 2 DDs but have in the main let this go. My FIL does often favour my DD1 so it sort of balances itself out IYSWIM.
However, that is not the issue. It was recently my DD's birthday party and niece and nephew were both invited although I must admit I didn't think my nephew would come as he was the only boy coming and it was a very girly party. He did come but more because he was made to by his mum. He stayed for a little bit and then went round to FIL's. After the party, actually a couple of days later my Mum who had also been at the party phoned to tell me she was really upset by my nephew's behaviour at the party. I asked why and she told me that when DD1 and a couple of friends had come inside to go to the toilet. He had followed her and started teasing her (as he usually does) and then when DD1 had pretty much ignored him as she has been told by me to do he threw a slipper at her hard. Now I am aware it was only a slipper not a boot or hard object, but she was sucking on a lollipop and it caused her to start choking a bit. She was fine though and I am aware she can be prone to over reacting. My query is I feel annoyed about this as I don't think any child of 8 should be throwing things at people soft or otherwise, but now I am in a quandary over what to do.
Do I tell my SIL and let her deal with it?
Has too much time elapsed to make any discussion about it meaningless?
This isn't the first time my nephew has been mean to her but I love him and I have accepted certain differences about him and just told DD1 to play with her other cousin instead who is younger and so really hero worships DD1. Am I being too precious about this? She was my only child for 6 years so I am quite overprotective but I am also a teacher and I would never tolerate behaviour like this at school? Basically I would like opinions or advice on how best to deal with this or any future incidences. Obviously we will continue to see them regularly but I will begin to get increasingly resentful of him if this behaviour continues. BTW he gets on well with DD2 but can be a bit mean to her too but not on the same scale.
I think the other issue is my MIL thinks the sun shines out of his backside and my DD who never does anything really wrong is always getting chastised by MIL for very minor offences such as using the wrong bin. Whereas she always smiles indulgently at nephew when he has snatched things from DD's and even broke them. I think writing this down that may even be the bigger issue here, but how do I broach that or shouldn't I?