Feeling even more guilty since ds's report

[goodomen]

I received my ds's report last week. It is glowing, however it says
' since Mum's maternity leave ds had been more confident and happier'.

I feel terrible now.
I went on maternity leave in January this year and am due to go back to work in November - only part time.

Now i feel that if my working has affected ds so much that his teacher felt the need to comment on it, maybe I should not go back at all.

Or am I overreacting? I am quite sleep deprived with my baby dd so sometimes wonder if I have lost perspective.

I would appreciate any thoughts and opinions.

Jammi, it must have been horrible for you when your hv said that.
I think people forget how sensitive parents are about the decisions they make for their children.

HonoriaGlossop it is hard to know what is the best thing to do.
Short term I am sure my children would be delighted if I was home all day, but long term I am not so sure.

I guess only you can make that decision, goodomen! How old are the kids? My own view is that very young kids (sat below 7) often really love and thrive with having a parent at home for MUCH of the time....older than that, and yes I think the role-model thing is very important as well. My mum did her degree when I was about 6 or 7 and then started working as a teacher and it was really good for us to SEE her do all that. I think kids can gain a huge amount from seeing both parents working but I do think that the gain is more obvious to older children.

That's my view, FWIW, anyway! I guess I'm saying, it doesn't have to BE long term. Short term might be just the ticket! But as Isay, whaddo I know, am stranger on internet

SAY below 7, not SAT below 7 - doh!

I'll have to think about it.
It is (as I am sure you all know) hard to find well paid part time work. I used to work full time and luckily managed to reduce my hours when I had ds.
If I gave it up there is no way I would find another like it.

Also swimming against the tide here but I don't think it's particularly out of order for her to have written that. Children do not exist in a vacuum at school and I think its actually a good thing that she knows enough about your son as an individual to know that his mum is on maternity leave and notice that he is happier/more settled since point x (whatever the reason).

Another one who was left fuming at son's report. Maybe im being unreasonable but comments were made about his "long absence" last year which infuriated me because the school were responsible for it. He had a cold, a lingering cold which im sure most of us have had at one time. It lasted about 6 weeks but it was just a cold. Ds was sent home three times at least.

His lack of concentration and confusion was also mentioned by his form tutor despite the fact he has had extra lessons with a senco for years. Yes, tell me something I dont know already.

he got 4s and 3s in his sats and he came home telling me his teacher told him 3s were "rubbish". . There didn't seem to be anything positive in his report at all, and we've never had a bad one.

Talk about giving a child encouragement eh?

hi goodomen

there is also the possiblity that she really referring to the fact that now that your ds has a sibling he is happier, rather than meaning your maternity leave?

Why don't you make an appointment with the teacher and say that you were very interested in her observation and could she please elaborate on the difference in behaviour she has perceived in the DS she has known before and after your maternity leave? Be very polite and non-confrontational - try to get the teacher in your confidence.

Then, after the meeting, assess what she has said and see what you think - is she being fair or is she being provocative or judgemental of your lifestyle?

If you don't like the answer you get from the teacher at the meeting, then see the head.