to want to cancel a cheque I sent to my neice for her birthday

[poshtottie]

My neice was 14 on Tuesday and she is been so badly behaved for my sister that I don't think she deserves any money from me.

My sister also has another dd. She also has a partner though they don't live together. I think the baby may have some affect but she was heading this way before he came along. And funnily she always wanted a little brother.

Whats your relationship with her? Would it be possible to take her out and talk to her and ask her whats up?
14 is a horrible time and it looks like peer pressure is taking over maybe if she had someone to confide in who isnt her mum you will be able to get to the bottom of all the issues and try as a family work them out.

notjustmum, I agree. My sister tries her hardest but you haven't met my neice.

auntyj, yes peer pressure is a big influence over her. She has friends who have 19 year old boyfriends.

When she is around her horsey friends she is the nicest kid ever.

She has a saturday job and they think she is fab.

This is the only thing that keeps my sister going sometimes.

notjustmum, I find it hard to understand because i just wasn't like this as a teenager.

Didn't get into boys till very late in life,
Made up for it though

I think my sister tries too much to be her friend.

poshtottie - your parents where lucky! I was the teenager from hell not as bad as your niece though!
Your sister needs to be a parent as at 14 she is still by law a child.
have you spoken to your sister about it?

auntyj. yes have talked to my sis about her. We do differ slightly on parenting styles, though my ds is only 2 so the only experience i have of teenagers is some of the ones I have been a nanny for who seem a world away from this.

notjustmum, my sister is not cool with anything my neice does. She just tries to reason with her more than I would.

I am trying to see it from another perspective as I am rarther old fashioned. I don't think its easy when you are the one going through it.