To think single mums (and dads) mainly do a great job?

[dilemma456]

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I completely agree, DH has just joined the army and has been away for 6 weeks now, training, we have two DS's nearly 3 and 6 months. its tough, bloody tough, having to deal with all the tantrums and tears on my own and constantly multi tasking is a lot more draining than i ever imagined!! i have huuuge respect for single parents.

Indeed.

I too, am plainly heroic and splendid....

...but all four of my boys are available on free transfers to any bugger a good home.....

Single parents Are. Awesome. Word.

I was chatting to my DH about this the other night. I have DS 19 mths and DD 2 mths. My DH is a bloody marvel - he is usually home for bathtime - he does one and I do the other, then sits me down and cooks me dinner. He gets up at 7am at the weekend to play with DS so I can feed DD in peace and have a lie in. He even brings my breakfast up. I also have no family nearby but have someone to come and help me two days a week (I am lucky enough to be getting my maternity pay for 9 mths)

I said to him the other night that I couldn't do it without him and have no idea how single parents manage, especially if they are also under financial constraints.

Respect from me.....

i am lone parent and find it very very tough but also very very enjoyable

It isnt a life path i would have chose but for the most part we are ok..

Well I have one DD and a DH who is great with her, and I can't imagine how I would do it if I was on my own, physically or emotionally, not to mention financially, and my mum was on her own with three of us, so yes, I think they're bloody amazing.

yanbu
some are brilliant, especially the ones on her.
but the man up the road is not

it is very nice of you dilemma456 to think about single parents.
i really appreciate that.
to me being single parent is the most difficult job in the world, especially if you dont have any support around you.
and nobody can understand it if they dont live it. i wouldnt wish it to anyone.

as if anybody is going to say YABU

YABAK

(you are being ass kisser)

YANBU of course.

I thank you, it's noce to get some recognition every now and then!

Yes!!!! We DO do a great job.

However,,, I read the relationship board and the AIBU board and I think how much easier life is without a partner. I know people don't post about their lovely husbands though.

It's true Mutt. That takes a lot of the stress and resentment out of daily life.

agree mutt - or someone trying to nick the remote. (ticks list off fingers) - or nicking the duvet - well apart from DS

mrsT - that's the hardest thing about being a forces family as well (XH is amry)

he was away all the time and I mean every other week (from aug 06 to sept 07 when we split) the longest spell he had at home was 7 week, other than that it was weekends only. and that if yu ask me is 100 times harder than what we have now - I know we're not in a relationship now, but he/I/DS all knows where we stand and we all play our parts, prior to this I was like a single mum but had the H coming home throwing his weight around and I was resenting him cos after all he din't see DS all week so why should he get to shout at him iycwim. it's a harder life I think as a forces wife, as you're mum & dad, but then when he comes back just mum - it's hard to re adjust all the time.

Yes, it's more stressful in some ways but at least we don;t have to put up with the stuff some people with horrible partners put up with.

and we can spend all of friday evening on MN

.....it is little things that are difficult. For example I ran out of milk at 8pm tonight....

Two 7 year olds asleep, one 9 year old out, 11 year old on computer.

Do I have tantrums in the morning when there is no milk for cereal, or do I leave them alone for 15 minutes?

..well they will have bovine lactation come the morrow.

I am a bad man.

....and thank you for the thoughtful post, "dilemma"

It must be fucking hard work. respect!

I had a really surreal moment the other day.

I'm lucky in that although I'm a single mum, I do have a lot of support at church (where I'm involved in lots of stuff),

Was playing the piano for the after school kids service the other day and came and offered to look after DS3 (nearly 14 months - and now properly walking) for me so he wasn't trying to "help" me and I could concentrate on what I was doing.

They went and sat opposite me and DS3 did what any normal baby that age would do (wanting to go anywhere he shouldn't and get hold of anything he shouldn't). A few of the other parents took it on turns to stop his causing too much mayhem and I found myself sitting there subconciously thinking "that little boy is really hard work" (he wasn't being grumpy or anything, was quite happy).

Then I stopped suddenly in my thoughts and realised "he's mine" and I look after him day in, day out (along with his 2 older brothers) on my own.

Suddenly had an rather swell of pride that I was doing it on my own and actually am not doing a bad job really.

retired goth, do what I do, tell them in the morning that you are going out for a breakfast picnic, leg it with them ot the local shop, buy some croussants (how the hell do you spell that word?) and eat on a park bench somewhere (unl;ess it's raining of course, in which case, ignore me)

I get that feeling too FAQ, of 'he's mine'.

or give them toast

I remember sobbing at my HV about 2 weeks after DD was born when I was struggling (and I have DH and both sets of family on tap) and saying to her "How the Hell do single parents cope?" Her response "I still have yet to work that out. They're amazing"

I totally agree with her

What a lovely post dilemma