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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For getting pissed off with having the piss taken out of me because of the job i decide to do???

60 replies

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 19:32

Im fed up with it and i know i don't have to take it. I joined the Police last year and have nearly finished my training. Since people at work found out what i was doing, it has been non-fucking-stop comments of "your just filth", "cant believe you have become a pig" etc etc etc. It's mainly from 2-3 people which isn't bad out of about 50 people on my shift but still wtf! Why oh why does it matter what job i'm planning on doing - what has it got to do with them! I have got a sense of humour and can laugh at myself, which i have done with regards to some less offensive comments but it's starting to get to me now. They then seem to make it sound ok by saying that i will deal with a lot worse on the streets and that if i cant take their "minor" comments then im going to be shit dealing with the criminals. I know i could take it further and speak to HR but do i really want people to think that they are getting to me and that i cant handle it??

I dont know what to do for the best - any ideas??

OP posts:

flowerybeanbag · 17/07/2008 19:48

x-post, I was referring to what you are doing as brilliant, not the 'scum' put-down!

pointydog · 17/07/2008 19:48

You need to do better than that! That sounds defensive. You needc to sound calm and perrectly happy woth your choice

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 19:48

ha ha thankyou flowery!

OP posts:

noonki · 17/07/2008 19:49

Ignore them - but bear in mind you will come across it again and again -

When I was younger I was anti-police in quite a immature 'fuck the establishment' way, to the point of saying with friends "god imagine if you fell in love with a bloke and then found out he was a copper, what would you do?"

then I met a lad in my office who was very sweet and very straightlaced who had decided to be a policeman - he was ripped to shreds for it but kept saying that he knew there were serious problems within the force (this was the same year as the Steven Lawrence inquiry) but to him it was even more important that people that were sincere and nonprejudgist became police. I respected him for that.

NomDePlume · 17/07/2008 19:50

OP - they sound horribly jealous. It sounds like you want something better for yourself career-wise and are getting off your bum to do it.

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 19:50

I know and im not proud of my comment - but it is the only one ive used I think it makes it worse as they were actually "friends" before they found out what i was doing. I didnt brag about it, i kept it to myself for ages, its just that gossip is rife where i work and it didnt take long to get out!

OP posts:

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 19:53

Im not sure if they are jealous or just very anti-police! I knew people didnt like them but to the extremes of bullying a colleague who has just decided to try and help others!

OP posts:

cocolepew · 17/07/2008 19:55

Rise above it, until you have the power to arrest them.

Janos · 17/07/2008 19:57

I'd say they are up to something and worried you are gonna catch them out! Best of luck to you.

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 19:58

I will rise above it and im not even going to lower myself with comments back. TBH its not bothering me that much and it certainly doesnt show on the outside - im just a bit disapointed at how "friends" can just turn!

OP posts:

CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 19:58

I would ignore them , the more you rise to them the more they will do it. Ignore them - your time will come one Saturday night on the High Street when they are drunk and disorderly.
Dont rise to their bait.

noonki · 17/07/2008 20:03

But maybe think why so many people dislike the police?

You must feel bad in your decision at all but it is always good to think about your chosen profession and how it can be improved. Otherwise you can get swept along in a bad culture...my husband is a paramedic and the ambulance service is full of disillusioned coppers ( though I am sure the police is full of disillusioned paramedics!)

noonki · 17/07/2008 20:03

SORRY I meant MUSN'T feel bad in your decision !!!!!!

QuintessentialShadows · 17/07/2008 20:09

babybuttercup.
Well done on nearly finnishing your training. I have lots and family and friends in the police, different positions, some on the streets some in plain clothes investigative roles. They all love what they are doing, you have a great career ahead of you.

Forget what these people are saying. You have to bear in mind that:

They are your current collegues, not people you (for now) deal with in a police capacity, so their comments have nothing to do with how you will cope later.
It is an hr issue, it is bullying, and you should report it. You may not be the only person with problems with these three.

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 20:10

I dont regret my decision and for the narrow minded people at work who think that im crazy for doing the job for "free" then they can carry on with their pathetic lives and abusive comments - they will soon be asking for help when their son/daughter/mother/father has been attacked burgled etc! I know i will be doing a good job and hopefully helping/saving lives!

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadows · 17/07/2008 20:12

Are you training to be a special?

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 20:12

Quint - i agree it is bullying and i agree that i should speak to HR but at the moment it is just the odd comment - nothing too serious. Two of the men are in management so i think it will stir up a lot of shit if i say anything, but if it continues or gets worse then i will!

OP posts:

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 20:13

Oh and yes i am!

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 17/07/2008 20:15

If it's bothering you then you should go to HR or equivalent.

I must say though, that those kind of comments dont get better when you are on the job. The only difference is that you tend to get it from complete strangers. Kinda comes with the job, as they say.

QuintessentialShadows · 17/07/2008 20:16

If they are in management, you should try to have a meeting with them an HR to speak about what the company actually thinks about this.. As a special you may find you go on duty after your regular job finnishes, and that you crash at the station house 4am to catch 3 hours sleep before going to work. Unless you are only doing weekend duties?

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 20:21

My full time job is at the airport doing a 4 on 4 off shift pattern so will have plenty of time to fit both in without only getting 3 hours sleep I have already spoken to higher management and HR with regards to the Police and they have all been very supportive! I do also know that if HR were to find out about the comments then they would take it very seriously - and rightly so! I know i will deal with a lot worse on the streets and this is to be expected - was isnt expected is to be victimised in my full time job where i dont have the uniform and back up to deal with it!

OP posts:

unknownrebelbang · 17/07/2008 20:31

You shouldn't have to put up with that, but you will need to develop a rhino hide, so unless they go too far (how long is a piece of string?) look on it as practise for the real thing.

And erm, try to avoid the occasional thread on here about the police. They're often referred to as twats / cunts etc.

Original poster

babybuttercup · 17/07/2008 20:41

Yeah i suppose they are helping in some ways to deal with the twats that i will have to deal with - i recon if they knew that then they would soon shut up - they dont want to help the "filth" after all do they

OP posts:

ilovemydog · 17/07/2008 20:43

Well, I hate the police (no offence, as I'm sure you're a nice person).

I was 16 years old, driving in not a great area (dropping my friend off from drama rehearsal). A police car pulled me over with sirens on, and was told to 'come out with your hands up...'

Obviously I complied. next thing, there were 4 police cars, and I was being surrounded by police with guns.

They ripped apart my car, asked me, 'what drugs I was on ' - they were antibiotics, but they smashed the whole bottle.

After being held at gunpoint, I was told I could go.

Oh, forgot to say, this was Beverly Hills, but still.

memoo · 17/07/2008 20:44

can i ask what job you're doing if you're training to be a police officer?

Many years ago before the kids arrived I was a police officer and the training was full time. How do you find time to work another job as well?

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