Why does my mother in law keep bringing this in to conversation???

[mummyloveslucy]

To feel a bit anoyed that every time my mother in law mentiones to anyone that my daughter is going to a private convent school, she has to say straight away that she went to one and hated it and how awful it was. She then tells them that when she was moved to a state school she loved it and never looked back.
I know that this is true, she went to an absoluitly awful convent school in the 50's and it's now closed. She did have a horrendous, but I don't know why she has to keep mentioning it whenever she talks about my daughters school.
She has been to my daughters school many times and really likes it. She comments on how good it is and how lovely the teachers are ect. I don't get it!
I know that she is very pro state school, which is fair enough but they have changed since she went to school. It is a bit anoying as people would think, why would I send my daughter to an awful school like that? She never adds that her granddaughters school is not like the one she went to. Why does she do it?
BTW I'm not having a go at her as she is a totally wonderful mother in law.

Yes, I do too. I'll do that and hopfully it will help.

I went to a private Catholic school (since closed) even though I and about half of the girls were non Catholic, and it was a lovely, caring, happy place with quite a lot of religion but not in an adverse way.

Yes this school is lovely too. When people ask what school Lucy's at and I tell them it kind of kills the conversation. They just have this look that say's "Oh my god!". I sometimes wish people wouldn't ask if they are just going to leave an awkward silence.

I hope that your little girl is happy and has a good education but IME of private catholic schools no good ever comes out of them. Although I understand that you feel your MIL is being unreasonable, she is probably scared for your DD and it is bring up the past for he

"The nuns don't acctually teach at this school anymore but they still live there. They are like a load of Grandma's really"

Don't be fooled, grandmas who beat children for saying tat/being left-handed etc. in their day.

I'm sure these ones wern't like that, I hope not anyway. Starting to get a bit worried. I don't think the children would always appear so happy if there was anything bad like that. Long live ofsted.

mummyloveslucy - am sure that your DD is happy or that you would pick up the moment she wasnt. From experience, although convent schools produce excellent exam results, they dont produce emotionally balanced children. I have no experience of physical abuse, it was more emotional/psychological.

trust your own judgement and keep talking to your daughter so that you know exactly what is happening at school

What kind of emotional/ psycological? Was this by the nuns or the teachers or both?

I went to private catholic school and the few nuns I came across were vicious!! Plenty of other, more balanced teachers too, though, so on the whole not damaging!

I am still wary of nuns, though! Although, tbh, nowadays (and especially when parents are paying!) I doubt they would get away with that kind of behaviour. I agree that acknowledging your mil's bad experience and reassuring her might be a good idea.

Well I will certainly be keeping a close eye on things and will make sure she isn't brainwashed.

I went to a convent school in the 70's. just wanted to say I know where your MIL is coming from.

I think its fully in keeping with much of the hypocrisy I encountered, that an organisation whose members take a vow of poverty, can run a fee paying private school and extract large sums out of other members of society.

MLL - lots of what i personally experienced and witnessed is too explicit/ personal to go into details on this board. IME nuns are very good at "guilt tripping" and instead of discipline, you are told you are a bad person. I also found that the education was very contradictory (am not saying that we didnt get good exam results) but the nuns and the teachers were only prepared to educate within the confines of catholic doctorine (one particular example is getting our daily paper with articles having been cut out.

No way fledtoscotland, It sounds awful! The nuns don't teach at this school so would that make a difference? I've spoken to a few women that went to this school and they all say that they loved it there and they are very nice down to earth women. They now send their girls. Lucy is such an open book, I'd know if there was somthing wrong.

it was pretty awful but it was 20yrs ago so i would like to think things have changed. Am sure you would be able to see if there were any changes in lucy but if you have heard good things about the school - trust your instincts. I know catholic convent schools have earned themselves a bad name (some deservedly so) but dont let this cloud your judgement. am sure your MIL is just scared because of her own memories so maybe you should just talk things through with her