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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that dh shouldn't share our personal finance matters with anyone he wants to??

10 replies

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 17/07/2008 14:34

Hmmmm, am I?

We have a rather large credit card bill that we pay off on time every month and we don't spend anymore on it. Also we get by every month, just!

In the past 3-4 days he has told 2 friends and his Dad about the large amount on a credit card and also is getting his friends involved in our mortgage decisions including asking them to look at our credit rating.

I would rather all of these people didn't know. Its our business and we are managing it, just. Also, we are quite capable at looking at our own credit rating without getting others involved.

Sorry, I just feel that he shouldn't be telling anyone he feels like.

OP posts:
theinsider · 17/07/2008 14:36

erm, but it's ok for you to share it with loads of strangers on the web?

I know it's supposedly anonymous but still

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 17/07/2008 14:38

I suppose but it just seems so much more personal when he announces it to family and friends.

Plus, he did go into alot more detail than I did, I tried to be sparce!

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Yorky · 17/07/2008 14:41

I agree with you completely. Dh and I have both collected a frightening amount of syudent debt and it is taking a while to chip away at but it goes down each month and we manage to eat and clothe ourselves each month without getting into more debt. So we can be proud of our late learnt money management skills
But I still do not like talking about it, even with 'safe' people like my parents. I am embarrassed by the size of our monthly repayments, and we have no chance of a mortgage for a few years yet, which given the state of the market may be a good thing!
BUT I am a natural introvert, and DH has always been much more outgoing/open than I am, so much more comfortable discussing things I consider to be 'private', like money.
You are entitled to feel this way, we are British (assumption, sorry if you're not) and you should try and find a way of telling him that having other people know the details of your circumstances make you uncomfy.

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 17/07/2008 14:46

Yep British, lol! It does make me feel very uncomfy and I left the room yesterday when him and his mate got talking about it.

I will sit down with him and talk tonight.

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myredcardigan · 17/07/2008 14:46

YANBU! I don't think it has anything to do with being British. Rather that some things should stay between a married couple unless you both decide to share that information.

Asking advice on an anon parenting site is not the same as talking to your PIL, IMO. Just tell him to stop it, you feel uncomfortable with it.

2shoes · 17/07/2008 14:48

yanbu I hate it when dh tels his family stuff that if eel should be private.

hertsnessex · 17/07/2008 14:49

yanbu.

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 17/07/2008 14:49

Thank you myredcardigan. It is completely different. Another of our friends is in a BIG amount of trouble financially and has told all of his friends etc... Whenever we get together as a group it is number one topic of conversation. I certainly don't want our circumstances to be a topic of conversation amongst friends and family.

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herbietea · 17/07/2008 14:53

This reply has been deleted

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HappyNewYearFeet06 · 17/07/2008 14:56

Thanks herbietea. Hubby is always moaning that we can't have this, that and the other but aspires to have what my parents have. However, they have only acheived that in the last 10 years and were in the same boat as us when myself and my 2 siblings were all young like our dc's.

We are still young (ish!) and have so much time and our dc's are all so still young but he never thinks of the here and now.

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