To want this child surspended?

[WorriedMum21]

I was called to DS1s school, (he is year 7) to find DS1 sat in the office and the Head of senco (DS1 has slight SN ) informs me that one of the children saw another child with a knife in school, that child said they were going to stab DS1 she followed this up with I don't know if it is true and I don't know what to do about it , (it is her bloody job to know what to do,) I ask what had been done so far and the boy had been surched and had gone home (it was home time by now) the child that had seen the boy with the knife had gone home but they thought it was best to keep DS till we went to get him.

So I call the mother of the boy who saw the boy with the knife and she said that when her son got to the bus stop, the boy with the knife and his friends were there, he had the knife again and it turns out it is a joke knife and the "blade" retracts when you "stab" someone with it...oh yes how we laughed hee hee hee so funny.

Now yesterday was sports day and DS1 stayed home, he is staying home today and I am going to ring the school and demand that this evil fucker child is sepended.
I am also going to report this to the police.
What the hell is wrong in a child heads when they think pretendidn to stab someone is funny, this child is main stream by the way, no SN so can't be excused on the grounds of not fully getting the idea of it.

I am so bloody angry, Wonder if he would think it funny if I took one of DPs guns (real but deactivated) and pretended to shoot him with it, but that would get a big laugh.
[disclaimer don't like the things and would never do that, but you get my drift]
How can people be so bloody stupid, every day a child is stabbed somewhere at the moment it is not a game or a joke.

Just caught up, I have reported this to the police, who do not think it is OTT, I have spoken to the school and told them the police will be going to see this boy, I have told them that I expect whom ever is responsible for this boy to be called in to school (his parents are both in prison it seems) and the school have agreed a spention could be needed.

I don't think it is OTT, and hopefully none of your children ever have to go through this.
Oh and in answer to what if it were my child that took the knife to school, well my hild knows better then to do something like that, but if he did something that needed a spention I would back the school in doing so.

A child at my DCs school took in a pretend gun. It was actually a lighter shaped like a gun and he threatened to shoot some of the kids. The school took it very seriously and suspended him for 3 days.
The school need to deal with this as if its just left and forgotten, it will happen again.
I do believe at 13 years old, this boy is very aware of the knife crimes that are going on at the moment. My own children who are much younger are aware of it so I am certain a child of that age also knows.

Year 7, so 11 years old? Very much a child. A plastic pretend knife. What was he meant to say? "I'm going to tickle him with it"? Sorry, very frightening for your son, and of course a stern chat that this sort of toy is not appropriate in the school setting. But to demand suspension over a toy being used as a toy is intended by a young boy? No.

I also think that his parents being in (or out of) prison is irrelevant to this situation. He is a boy with an inappropriate toy.

I think that if both this kid's parents are in prison that suspension is the last thing he needs,

he needs a serious talking to from the police and school, but getting him suspended is the start of crimializing him,

the school is at fault because they presumably know his situation and should see something like this as a red flag,

they should liase with his guardians and if he is having issues help him get some support,

but a suspension will help no one - it will just send himon a slippery slope, and on his return will not have learnt anything other than misbehaving leads to time off school.

I really feel for your son it is a horrendous act of bullying that needs to be properly investigated, hope you are alright

Unbelieveaby, what a lot of bloody PC prats you are.
This boy with the knife (real or not) is a evil little shit, and "if" his parents are locked up then I think we see where he gets it from and the sooner he joins them the better.

Some people are not nice, simple as that, some people a chavy little sumbags that should not be let near decent people, but oh no no one on here ever admits that (well unless their DH/DP has had enough and done a runner then slagging off is allowed, that bloke and his new woman who nobody knows a thing about get ripped to bits) But when it is something like this the PC hats go on and the oh poor little wrong doer, tut tut tut we mush be kind.
Someone on another thread is stupid enough to fight the case of a woman beating a 4 year old child as mother was having a bad day.
So let me ask you this, when your child is bullied, beaten, raped, stabbed or whatever you will all come on here posting oh well I guess who ever did it was having a bad day/ broken home/ gori child... NO thought not.

I think the child with the knife needs to be delt with, by the school, the police and kicked out of school, in fact what he really needs is a fucking good smack, maybe when the OP is having a "bad day" she could go give him one as that is a valied excuse her is it not?

My cousin was suspended for setting off a fire alarm last week, of course this little idiot should be suspended, he's picked on what he percieves to be a weaker member of the school and frrightened him that alone warants suspense.

I think suspension is spot on. I would make the most monumental stink unless it was handled properly and quickly, and would insist that they have a school assembly where it is discussed with the children (and I mean discussed, so they can ask questions and voice fears).

I don't know about the police though. Your son was threatened with a plastic toy, not a real knife and there is not much they can do.

But there is lots the school can do and should.

I'm really sorry your son had to go through this, its my biggest fear knife crime at the moment. I hope he's ok.

VeraDuckworthsHandbag - I take your point about the PC Hats but this is a child we are talking about! Don't you think that his behaviour has been negatively influenced by the lack of consistent good parenting that he's had to deal with. Yes, let's shove him in prison so that he can learn to be a "proper" criminal. He's a child who should be suspended and should be made to understand what he did wrong. He should be under threat of exclusion or going to some form of bootcamp for a second offence.

Hey vera! Why don't we just hang him by the neck until he's dead? At least that way he'll be out of the way of decent people and we won't have to worry about anything daft like rehabilitation and wondering why he got that way in the first place.

How does suspension work? Is it one day/week out of school, doing extra homework at home? Depending on what suspension entails, I think it is NOT OTT at all. What he did (even if it was just a toy) was seriously wrong.
I think that if the police come over he might actually find it really amusing and think of himself as very important.

How do you know this child's parents are in prison?

If they are, presumably this child hasn't had the most positive start in life, so yes, is possibly leading by example. But surely rather than writing off this 13 year old child someone should be trying to help break the cycle?

If you grow up with criminals for parents then there is probably quite a good chance you will become a criminal. Unless of course said parents are taken out of the equasion and you are then in a position where you can look beyond your origin and become more than who you were born to.

It's a sad world when such tolerant people like vera write off children purely because of who their parents are.

I think that if someone doesn't tackle this boy's behaviour now then it probably won't be long before he is messing about at school with a real blade.

It's not just a prank, it's not acceptable because he's only 11, it needs sorting out now before this boy thinks that waving knives around at school (whether real or fake) is ok.

I think getting the police involved is totally reasonable and I imagine given the current climate of knife fear they will take it quite seriously.

And the school need to grow a backbone and deal with it more seriously as well.

Worriedmum21, did anybody, other than the child who said the other one was going to stab your son, see a knife?

Isn't this the same as hitting/wrestling and playing 'kill kill kill' games - often with sticks or whatever they can lay their hands on?

They all do it and the reason is they learn through this play about self restraint. Now, if they get suspended and restrained by big people like head teacher, police, etc.then what learning re. self restraint has taken place? None.

I do agree that this boy needs to be talked to by a teacher or even headteacher but this should be a discussion with instruction so that he can decide for himself that stabbing is wrong and that he will not be choosing violent interaction as way of dealing with issues. We don't even know if there was real conflict do we? Could it have been more of a "i'm gonna stab yer, power rangers here we come !" convo rather than a more worrying "i'mgoing to stab you after school" kind of thing?

I'd be deeply sad and upset for my dc in the position of your own child, but I'd be equally upset if any of my ds's rough play sessions were interpreted such that the became suspended.

Good grief.

It is NOT the OP's job to worry about the 13yo with the knife. Yes, school and social services and whoever should be supporting this child but the OP has to act on behalf of her son. Who must have been bloody terrified - not just at hearing someone was after him with a knife but at being kept in the office - making it appear that the grown ups thought someone was REALLY attempting to find and stab him. (Of course school had to protect him but from the OP's ds's POV, it must have reinforced the idea that he was in real danger.)

The fact it was a play knife is irrelevant in one sense - I don't know if it's treated the same as guns but the police will act against anyone waving a replica gun around. The threat is just as severe for the victim if they don't know it's a fake.

The boy with the knife is 13, not 11. Old enough to know a lot better. He must have known the child on the receiving end of his message would be bloody terrified. No doubt he is a very troubled boy if both parents are in prison, but he must have known this was dangerous, aggressive and wrong.

Worriedmum - this child should be suspended as he is threatening other kids. The police should come into the school to talk about this and to talk to this child & his gang. How awful for your ds.

I might have read the op wrong, but I don't think the boy said anything to WM21's DS. It was another child who said he had said it, and that he had a knife. He was searched but the OP has not said if the boy was found to have this toy knife by anyone other than the other child.

Another person has been stabbed to death. 24 this year.

Suspension sounds pointless as it is nearly the end of term. I think he and his parents should be brought in to school, pictures of stab victims shown to him and this knife removed from him.

You could be right, OP is unclear on that point (says 'that child'). Poor Worried must have been in a right state when she posted.

Yes, I feel for her Edam - not nice to hear someone is going to stab your child. I would have been in the same state too.

24 teenagers killed by violence (guns and knives) in London alone, it says in The Times. So far, this calendar year. There was a total of 26 for the whole of last year.

I think that yabu to "demand a suspension" because as the parent of the victim, it is not your right nor your place to 'demand' or to 'determine' the punishment that is given. That is not the way the British criminal justice system works, and schools should not be run on a basis of Jus Talionis or some sort of vigilantism either. However, I think yanbu to demand that the school deals with this issue seriously and appropriately. How they choose to do that though, is their decision and not yours.