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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another crazy bus lady

79 replies

goodasgold · 16/07/2008 21:37

I got on the bus with dd2 and ds3 yesterday. I took dd out of their double puschair to sit next to me, whilst ds slept in the pushchair.

Dd gets excited and starts to say/shout hello to every car and motorbike and ask me questions about where the bus is going. She is 2 and 4 months.

The 70 year old lady across the aisle asks me if dd can be a bit quieter, so I ask dd to hush, but don't really bollock her. After about 5-10 mins the old lady says 'look I've asked you once, can you make her quiet, I was on the bus first it was peaceful until you got on with your pushchair the size of a ...'

At this point the lady who works in the bakery in the village I live in said 'shes too little to make quiet' and the old lady said 'she was old enough for a smack and that she would grow up to have children outside of marriage and seek consolation in drink and drugs'

I put a brave face on it, but when I got off the bus I cried.

My dh said that I should have said something back, but what?

Not really asking wibu, just what would you do?

If you can be bothered to read so much, cheers!

OP posts:

lenny101 · 16/07/2008 22:25

Nah, take it at face value. I'd be proud of a dd that wanted to chat and show obvious joy in her surroundings.

So, million dollar question.... what would you say now, if she was there in front of you? Maybe you'll get the chance face to face soon.......

frasersmummy · 16/07/2008 22:29

I dont know what I would have said or done ..but some of the one liners on here are brilliant

what a horrid old lady. You get back on the bus and let your little one ask a million questions re the bus/cars/motorbikes and shout hello to whom she likes

She is only going to be excited about this big bad world for a very short time .. let her enjoy it

AbstractMouse · 16/07/2008 22:31

I like the answer a comedian gave (can't remember which one) when faced with tutters on a flight "ok I'll just slit his throat then, shall I so you can enjoy your bloody paper" or something like that.

I hate interfering old ladies who last had children about 60 years ago. Was in the supermarket and dd was trying to climb up the side of the trolley, I told her in a sharp voice to get down (50th time) and dd jumped. Old lady says "she's obviously used to that", I just kind of rolled my eyes.

AbstractMouse · 16/07/2008 22:35

But don't despair goodasgold dd is a complete chatterbox and we use the bus daily, she has a gaggle of old lady and bus driver friends. People even stop me in the street to tell me what a lovely girl she is, have had some really
nice comments. So not all of them are cantankerous old beggars.

PollyPentapeptide · 16/07/2008 22:38

She sounds just like my dd when she was that age pure joy, so treasure her always.

My daughter used to be so full of the joys of the world at that age and full of chat. We used to hold hands together and walk to the park and she would chat about EVERYTHING and be so oblivious to anything going on around her that she used to bump her little head on every car wing mirror that was parked, as we walked down the street. I used to smile and swap hands because I couldn't bear to innterupt her precious string of thoughts.

That lady must have had a rough life if she needs to covet precious time on a sodding bus.

Cant think of any effective retorts but just wanted to congratulate you on such a darling DD

Original poster

goodasgold · 16/07/2008 22:39

If it were just us two I would tell her that my dd was just excited and enjoying her journey, and that I don't really want to crush her spirit, and that I don't think a smack or telling off is the best way to ensure quiet on the bus, and that it doesn't matter how big my pushchair is, and that I think keeping her confidence intact may prevent the dreaded children outside of marriage/solace in drink and drugs that she is so concerned about. But I would like to insert 'vile old lady'if I could too.

OP posts:

ManxMum · 16/07/2008 22:40

I would give anything to have my son (sn) chatter on the bus......

I love it when they come out with a comment and make us all laugh!

What an old bag

bookswapper · 16/07/2008 22:41

as we all know...children learn by example...you absolutely reacted the right way!

Original poster

goodasgold · 16/07/2008 22:43

Thank you all for your lovely support, I would love to get the bus with a whole bunch of you!

OP posts:

davidtennantsmistress · 16/07/2008 22:43

been laughing at some of the one liners on here.

my son is 2.5 years, and the exact same as your DD, I think they're not naughty, and they're inquisitive, they're chatterboxes, they're learning their world.

silly old battleaxe -I wouldn't disrespect her as I dont' think it's right, but I'd say something along the lines of 'and they say the younger generation are rude - at least my daughter has manners' or something to that effect?

May2December · 16/07/2008 22:44

I would have just laughed in her face at the ridiculous comment (which said far more about her than you or lovely dd).

May2December · 16/07/2008 22:44

I would have just laughed in her face at the ridiculous comment (which said far more about her than you or lovely dd).

specialmagiclady · 16/07/2008 22:45

I'm practising the "my son is being horrid because he's 3/1..." line just in case. It's ace.

You done right girl.

aGalChangedHerName · 16/07/2008 22:48

Why on earth should your dd have been quiet???

I would probably have been rude im afraid. Along the lines of saying to my dd1 loudly so said old lady could hear (dd talks a lot too and loudly at times) that the old lady was very very ignorant/rude and how glad i am that you dd are polite and friendly.

Can't bear old miseryguts like that!!

lenny101 · 16/07/2008 22:48

With you ManxMum, ds1 struggles with speech so loving the image of goodasgold and dd.
Goodasgold, your response and your hingsight response are spot on. I really hope you get to talk spirit with a clearly dis spirited old woman.

cheshirekitty · 16/07/2008 22:50

The reason horrid old lady was travelling on the bus and not being given a lift by one of her sons/daughters is that she was probably a vile, loathsome old bitch of a mum!!!!!

Your daughter is just learning and enjoying life. Enjoy her, enjoy your son. Sod the old cow.

bookswapper · 16/07/2008 22:50

actually once I did answer back at a staff member who tutted at my little DS in a pram shop...

she had said hello
he had cried and stamped his feet
she tutted and rolled her eyes at me...

I smiled (gritted teeth) and told her
"he was very tired
he was getting his top canine teeth
he had a brand new baby brother but most of all...
HE WAS TWO AND A HALF"

the other staff member spluttered with laughter
but really she was in the wrong job if she couldn't cope with toddlers....

elkiedee · 16/07/2008 23:15

Your dd sounds lovely, I was just reading the first post out to my dp and he was as shocked as me - our 14 month old ds loves to chat and wave at people on buses.

NorthernLurker · 16/07/2008 23:18

since when did buses become 'peaceful'? Oh dear - well you were hugely in the right and she is outstandingly in the wrong. lets hope she's gone home and realised that!

thumbwitch · 16/07/2008 23:28

PMSL at WigWamBam
I was verbally attacked by a mad old bag on a tube train once with my then bf; she was going on and on about "disgusting little girl (i was 18 fgs!) and her disgusting little friend, ooh look at them etc...."
It was very upsetting (although I can laugh about it now) but we decided to keep quiet as it was unlikely that anything we said to her would have shut her up!

I think keeping the moral high ground and ignoring her is the best way to go, or do WWB's one - I like that one. Or you could do what I do when I'm peed off with DH - i.e. be indirectly rude to him by talking to DS about him - you could say to your DD "just ignore the rude old woman over there - she wasn't brought up properly, unlike you" or something.

LynetteScavo · 16/07/2008 23:34

goodasgold

Congratulations!

You win the madest old lady on the bus story!

Jonut · 16/07/2008 23:46

At least you were paying attention to your child and not ignoring it like most people on the buses I catch. I understand that you can't entertain children all the time but I feel so sorry for those kids who are trying to communicate with their parents and they just stare out of the window or at their mobiles. When the kids get fed up of talking to mum and getting ignored and start shouting and kicking seats etc they then get shouted at and told to shut up!! IMO bus journeys are a perfect time to practise speach etc. My daughter (23mths) and I always use bus journeys looking out of the wimdow and discussing what we can see, different colours etc. I often get funny looks as I speak to her as I would and adult but at least she's not crying and making a fuss because she's bored!

Kelix · 16/07/2008 23:47

Silly cow!
I would have said as long as she doesnt grow up to be as rude and inconsiderate as you Ill be happy.
Well actually I would probably told her to piss off then wished that I said something more simular to the above.
An old lady in Asda today told me that my DD (6 months) was going to be at least 7 foot 2 when she was old 'If not bigger'

thumbwitch · 16/07/2008 23:52

old ladies are bonkers sometimes, aren't they. Some years ago I was working as an au pair in Italy, looking after non-identical twin boys of 22mo and their 9yo sister. I was walking with them in the park, as we did every day, and I often got accosted by old ladies who were fascinated by both them and me. One episode in particular had me in stitches though - one oldie asked if the boys were twins (yes), were they mine (no); then she said - they don't look like each other (they didn't) - do they eat different things? so i said No. Then her friend said "they were probably born in different places"
WTF?! When i told their mum, she had fits - as though she would stop halfway through a delivery and run down the road to another hospital!!!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 17/07/2008 00:02

OMG- my kids are constantly yattering! I assume everyone else loves it as mich as I do

Seriously, though, I would take the face off anyone who told me to "make " my children be quiet! I would have pointed out to her that this was PUBLIC transport, not a funeral parlour. I might have told her to turn her hearing aid off if it was bothering her that much.

And as to what your dd would grow up to be..."She might just grow up to be the person changing your colostomy bag, so best you start being a bit nicer to her now!"

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