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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask parents acompanying children to DD's birthday party to Pay £3.50 if they wish to join child around farm?

27 replies

Jaynerae · 15/07/2008 14:45

DD's is having Birthday part in a wonderful country park, with farm and play area.
We will of course pay for all children and we don't need parents to come for numbers as we have enough adults in family to help supervise.
But it is a fantastic place and parents can come if they wish to, venue charge £3.50 per adult,(normal entry when not part of party is £8.)

So do we pay for any parent who wishes to come, (some of the children will only just be 4 as DD is oldest in class)or do we ask them to pay for themselves?

What would you do?

Would you be offended to be asked to pay £3.50 to accompany your child to a farm and play park for the day?

OP posts:

DrNortherner · 15/07/2008 14:47

I think it is very tight of the farm to charge for parents who are taking kids to a birhday party, and I would not book this venue because of this fact.

I would be miffed yes. The party is for the kids, not the parents.

WorzselMummage · 15/07/2008 14:47

I would be offended if i was asked to pay for dd to go but i'd probably expect that i would have to pay for myself

LoveMyGirls · 15/07/2008 14:48

I'd pay it if I wanted to come, how old are the children?

foxymolly · 15/07/2008 14:48

I don't think you should have to pay for the parents. If I wanted to stay I wouldn't mind paying £3.50 and certainly wouldn't expect you to pay for all the parents

marmalady · 15/07/2008 14:50

How old is your dd? My dd is 4 in a couple of weeks and we are going to a local soft play area. We have paid for childrens entry and one of their parents. If 2 parents turn up they will have to pay for themselves. Tbh most of the invited have 2 children so I would expect one parent to stay at home. However, if both children need to come as one is not on the invite the parent will pay for them. The cost gets out of control otherwise.

lulumama · 15/07/2008 14:50

you either need to pay for them or accept that a fair proportion of children won;t come......

i would not be offended, but would be miffed i had to get card, present, get child to party and then pay to be with them if they are too young be left

you need to choose a venue where children can be left or accompanied for free, as not al lparents would leave there just four year olds

HumphreyCushioni · 15/07/2008 14:51

Very cheeky of the venue to charge for adults who are just supervising their DCs at a party.
Captive audience, really.
I'd expect to take a lamb home for that price.

elmoandella · 15/07/2008 14:52

hmmmmmmm tricky one,

to be honest i wouldn't book a place if they were gonna make adults pay just to accompany the kids.

i mean lets face it, adults can't very well play in the soft play can they?

gscrym · 15/07/2008 14:52

Stick a note in with the invites explaining price is usually £8 but will be £3.50 to come with children. Also make it clear that no helpers are required and that parents are free to drop children and come back later.

That way, people know before hand that they'll have to pay. Their motivation may be that people have parties and some of the parents bring along other siblings who aren't party and use the place for free.

FourArms · 15/07/2008 14:55

Personally, I would pay for the parents, but as a parent, wouldn't think twice about paying for myself to come in. I wouldn't have left DS1 at just 4 in that kind of environment with unfamiliar adults.

ShadowyMariaMiller · 15/07/2008 14:55

oh god go somwhere else

Original poster

Jaynerae · 15/07/2008 14:57

HhMM - wouldn't want to offend, and wouldn't want to risk people not letting children come, so I will not mention charge - just ask parents to let me know if they are going to stay with child - if they do we will pay for them.

Will also offer transport as it is half an hour away and we have plenty of family going with cars, will get parents to drop children at our house with car seats.

Couldn't offer fairer than that!

Thanks for view points - helped me make my mind up! I see the point aboput buying card then present then paying for petrol and then if you feel your child is to young to be left paying £3.50 to stay with them!

OP posts:

Mercy · 15/07/2008 14:57

Same as Fourarms.

marmalady · 15/07/2008 14:59

elmoandella- lol @ adults in soft play. Mind you i saw a fair few going down the slide and one without a dc!

I was just happy to pay so they stay and supervise their dc- they are 4.

SNoraWotzThat · 15/07/2008 15:02

I agree with gscrym and if I had a note like that I wouldn't mind.
You are giving them the choice and what if they want to bring other siblings along? Most big party places do charge extra for siblings, but not usually for parents.

SNoraWotzThat · 15/07/2008 15:04

I would rather go to a country park than a soft play area with piss and sick in those horrid ball pits

elmoandella · 15/07/2008 15:09

marmalady, there's an outdoor climbing centre nearby here that has a child play area. it's all ranmps and slides.

and the adults are allowed to go in with the kids for free and go on the stuff.

oh and snora this one has no ball pit and is absolutely spotless. but i think it's a one in a milion. there's other ones i've been to where you find mouldy fruit and allsorts. yuk!

shame thing is that they are strict on numbers and you gotta go at quiet times or you may not get in. but i suppose that also a good thing too that its never too busy

dizzydixies · 15/07/2008 15:15

oh no are you talking about me? I did that at the weekend

we had dd1's 5th birthday party at a farm thingy BUT I explained to parents that whilst heavily pregnant I couldn't invite siblings (as I had done last year) but they were very welcome to come with siblings too as once the invited kids were in that was them for the day and I'd be bringing enough food for ALL attending not just the kids

I wouldn't be offended at all to be asked to pay if I wanted to go too

hope you enjoy the party

lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 16:06

ahhhh, thats sort of answers my Q. Was this place called farming world by any chance?? Simply because we were tempted to do this but have opted for the soft play centre for this very reason. The children would only be three though and could not be left.

Alderney · 15/07/2008 17:00

I'd be happy to pay for myself especially at a reduced rate. At that age I probably wouldn;t have left DD at a party - I'd leave her now as she is 4.5 but you say all the guests will be less than 4, and I think thats young for a "drop off" type of party.

It s atoughie, because you would want to tell adults in advance but its hard to word.

mrsruffallo · 15/07/2008 17:08

I wouldn't be offended if I had to pay, but I would think it was a stramge choice of venue.
Party venues should be uncomplicated, with room for parents that want to come without messing around and having to collect money

whatdayisit · 15/07/2008 17:15

I think as long as you let people know in advance that you aren't expecting them to stay, but that if they want to the farm charges £3.50 you'll be Ok. But, if you end up with only a couple staying, I'd pay for them.

Squirdle · 15/07/2008 17:18

If it was explained properly then I wouldn't be offended at all! £3.50 for that kind of place is quite reasonable imo. Would parents be able to bring siblings at the reduced rate?

Can you speak to the parents personally? It may come across better if you did. I think most parents would be fine about it. Especially as you are offering to take them and supervise them if they want you to. I probably wouldn't want mine to go without me at that age, but I'd happily pay to go with them.

katebee · 15/07/2008 17:29

I would ensure I had a high ratio of adults to children going. At least 1 adult to 3 children. If you have already invited enough family members to ensure this ratio I would not actively encourage the parents of children attending to stay. However if anyone says they want to stay I would offer to pay their entrance..in the end they will be making your life easier as every adult will be a bonus and they will think of you as a kind person for treating them to the farm visit.

I get cross with farms that charge adults a huge entrance fee..some farms offer a one audlt goes free with each paying child type of deal..maybe you could see if any farms near you offer better terms.

LIZS · 15/07/2008 17:31

Are you really able to accept all the children with no additional parents present ? Do the children know any of the adults supervising or who may drive them there ? If not then I think it is cheeky to charge and probably a venue too far away.

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