In feeling annoyed at parents of overweight kids

[noonki]

I am not saying that all children should be a similar size and I know that some kids are naturally much tubbier than others. (I was when I was younger). But there are so many huge children nowadays and at the supermarket I hate seeing the crap that their parents are putting in the baskets. I hated being overweight, and think that parents have a duty to encourage their kids to exercise and not to have junk in the house.

I have two adopted sons who are not related genetically - DS1 is a beanpole while DS2 is naturally tubby. DS2 has had a huge appetite since he came out of the womb. He is at about the 95th percentile for weight and it is a permanent battle to keep his weight down at that level. The poor mite just loves food and wants to eat it. We buy the same food for all and are stricter with DS2 than DS1 but still DS2 who is very active piles on the pounds and desperately wants to eat.

I am slim (coming from a slim family) and have always tried not to be judgemental about people who are overweight. I now am not judgemental at all.

I did read some interesting research a few years ago that said that some people have receptors in the brain that are more excited than average by the sight of food. It has become much harder for them to eat healthily now that we are bombarded with images of food on billboards/magazines/TV ads etc.

Does anyone have any opinions about what makes up a healthy diet? With my family, I insist on 3 meals a day, won't let them eat junk unless it is after a meal, and have a more or less total ban sugar, unless as part of a pudding or after swimming. I usually won't let them have cereal that has more than 10% sugar (that means cornflakes and rice crispies, weetabix and not much else!) as I think they go a bit wild if they get too much sugar too early in the day. But they do get fish and chips and peas sometimes!

My first 2 babies were really fat, and DD (4) has only just started to stretch out of being ball shaped into a fairly slim child. DS1 (6) is now skinny. DS2 is less fat than the other 2 were at his age, and I think this is because he has a diet with more meat and fat in it than the other two did - he just gets given what everyone else has, straight from weaning. The other 2 got more "baby" food with less "difficult to digest" stuff.

I just wonder what other people think about the carbohydrate versus fat thing? I don't restrict fat at all and we are all slim, (except the baby) but I do restrict sugar.

Am sooo sick of hearing people complain about not being able to afford to feed their children healthily. What nonsense. I have a budget of between £30 and £50 per week to feed 2 adults and up to 4 children. We make lasagne with leeks, butternut squash, spinach, ricotta cheese. We roast the leftover veg with peppers and serve with quinoa. If I can't afford organic free range chicken, we use quorn. We make smoked haddock with cannellini beans and a veggie chilli made with beans as well. We use lambs liver which is soo cheap and high in iron. The children drink milk or water - we grow our own herbs and tomatoes. Sauasage cassoulet - sausages, tinned tomatoes and butter beans.
The reason people use ready meals is because they are lazy. Read Nigella Express and other recipe books.
Children don't have the choice about what they eat so parents must provide their children with a nutricious healthy diet. If they don't, then I am afraid they do not love their children as they would put the needs of their children before anything. I would go so far as to say that children who are continually fed rubbish are being neglected by their parents.

I think that a lot of the trouble comes from snacks-they are not necessary. If they are really hungry they will be happy with a raw carrot or apple. Nobody 'needs' a chocolate biscuit,it is more appreciated if it is saved for a treat on odd occasions.

Hear Hear Mistyfied, although my DS gets treats, I cook everything from scratch. If we have cottage pie I make it, I never buy readymade stuff except for the odd pizza treat. It never tastes the same as homemade. It is the way I was brought up, my mum made everything herself. My grandmother even made her own butter, never ever bought it! I just wish I could grow my own veg, but my garden is tiny!

MistyFied, will you be my cook please? your menu sounds fab!!

YANBU

Can I just correct a few statements on this thread which are patently not true.

"A child will not starve themselves".

Yes they will. Ds1 has got himself to the point of vomiting his stomach contents after 3 days of refusing to eat because I didn't make the 1 food he wanted. The more he doesn't eat, the more he doesn't want food. And it is proven in anorexics that after a while your body produces endorphins so that 'not eating' actually gives you a 'high'.

'If they are really hungry they will be happy with a raw carrot or apple'.

Well, my dd's favourite food is apple. The chances of getting ds1 to eat either of those food are non-existant. He is phobic of foods that aren't on his 'like' list. I have seen him, after 3 days of not eating, put a piece of meat in his mouth, because I said he 'had' to try some. 4 hours later it was still in his mouth because he couldn't swallow it. He had to spit it out before bed, because he could have choked on it. He tried so hard to eat that piece of meat, but he physically couldn't do it.

'Picky means spoiled and over-indulged'.

No it doesn't. In my ds1's case, I am convinced his pickiness is because of some sensory/taste issue. He is highly sensitive to smell, if dd has a banana, he can smell it from before he gets into the room and is gagging at the smell of it.

Please don't judge if you've never experienced a truly picky child. Ds1 is universally picky - he is fussy about biscuits, sweets, ice cream, cakes, chocolate - there are very few he will eat. Which to my mind proves that it is a true taste issue, and not manipulation. A child who would rather go without a biscuit/chocolate because it's not one he 'likes' is not a child trying to get out of eating their veggies.

I have 3 children - ds1 (7)who is appallingly fussy, dd (4)who eats pretty well anything, but particularly loves fruit and veg and ds2 (2)who is a fairly good eater, but particularly likes meat. They have all been brought up the same way, and yet ds1 is hideously much more difficult than the others. When he went to nursery once a week, they admitted defeat - said he just wouldn't eat anything for the whole day. He went there for 4 years, and in that time almost never ate there. Which meant no food on that day. That is not a child who is pandered and indulged. It is a child with genuine issues.

Tortoiseshell. I feel for you that must be hard work. I feel like getting my DP to read your post as he thinks my DS is a fussy eater and to be honest he really is not. It is just that his DS and DD eat absolutely everything put in front of them to the point of greed. For example if I put a dish of roast pots on the table, DSD (my DP's DD) would count them and announce how many we had each. I had to tell her to stop doing it as it was her selfish way of making sure she got her share. This in turn makes my DS look like a fussy eater. DP's DC's act like they have not eaten for weeks and TBH it puts me off my meal. Another example, the ice cream van pulled up outside our house, they asked if they could have one and being old enough took some money to get one. My DS asked for a small one because he knew he would not manage a large one, they asked for large! Then gave me the change!

I have every sympathy tortoiseShell, some children have eating disorders that can't be cured by home cooking and no snacks. However I would guess that your DS1 is not overweight and this thread is specifically about overweight children and their parents. Overweight/obese children have to be eating the wrong food and too much of it. Healthy meals from scratch stops the first one and not having snacks stops the second.

No, ds1 is skinny as can be. Interestingly, dd is very 'solid' and before a growth spurt can look chubby - and yet she has a fabulously healthy diet - no snacks apart from fruit/veg sticks, and no unhealthy food! But she is a more solid build than ds1 who is a very light build - she has broader shoulders, a wider ribcage and is therefore destined to be a more solid child, and she is also well covered!

In fact, you can see them on my profile!

(I've for a short time put a pic up of them paddling - so you can see the difference in build!)

Love the cake-tortoiseSHELL. I did a pirate one when DS2 was 6yrs and it was in danger of melting in the hot weather!
I remember looking at your DCs on another thread and they are gorgeous. They are normal size, I can't remember the start of this thread but it was along the lines of overweight/obese DCs have their parents to blame so comments on here are making the assumption that the DC is grossly overweight to start with.I don't think that a DC who has overeaten from birth is suddenly going to starve themselves.

Well said, Abbey.
I know some (I must stress some, not all parents) people who seem to be in denial about their child's weight -- whether it matters or they as parent's can do any thing about it.

It would worry me a lot if I had a fat kid.

I have a friend who seems unaware that her DS is obese-she spent her time feeding him up! The whole family are fat.
Mine have had spells of what tortoiseSHELL called solid. Once around toddler age but walking and running sorted that out, and again around 12-13yrs but then they had a growth spurt and are now slim. I do healthy meals and we are not into lots of snacks.

Jusat looked at your pics they are gorgeous! I would certainly not describe your DD as fat, they look pretty perfect to me! Bless!

YANBU. The majority of pupils at my DC's school are overweight or obese.

The majority feed their kids processed shite and fail to encourage a balanced, varied diet.

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

Start a new one if you think this info is important rather than digging up an ancient one

Jesus. Why bump a 9 year old thread, to state the friggin obvious?

The trouble is, parents can only pass on the knowledge they have themselves. They likely have issues too, so wouldn't know how to start with their kids.

I don't agree with that at all user

There has never been more information around than there is today, and since the rise in popularity of the internet, it's never been more easily accessible.

People need to take responsibility, rather than hiding their heads in the sand.

I agree Worra the information is out there and the schools get involved now and so on, but for some reason some parents just don't prioritise it. Some of them probably smoke around the kids too. I don't know what the answer is. How do we make people care about this stuff if they aren't interested?