Tell me I'm being childish.

[WinkyWinkola]

DH was on the 'phone to his dad, talking about some wider family issue. DH says he can't be bothered with the rest of the family anymore i.e. cousins, aunts, uncles.

PIL says in response, "Well, anyway, all you have to remember is that the most important people to you are mummy and I. Oh and WinkyWinkola and your children too." Like we're an afterthought in DH's life.

It really irked me that they think DH would put them before his children in his priorities.

did he say mummy?

Yep. All on glorious speakerphone. Why?

YANBC you are your children are the most important thing to your dh

What did your DH say?

Well, I know we are. It just annoyed me that FIL would say that.

didn't he mean that your DH was only interested in his father and mother, out of the extended family that DH comes from?

This makes sense in the context of your DH saying he's not interested in the rest of them.

Obviously this doesn't include you because your DH has not rejected you or his progeny (his created family) but he has rejected a part of his "inherited" family if you know what I mean.

DH said that immediate family are the most important and that he's not going to get stressed about the poor behaviour of wider family anymore. And then said goodnight.

Sounds familiar!

When my dad married my mum, his dad said to him that his mother would always come first. (Like a fecking order! )

My dad said "Listen X (he calls his parents by their first names, not mum and dad) if my wife cut her finger and my mother got run over (or he may have said broke her leg or something, I can't remember, but it's only the final message that really matters)

Let me start again

if my wife cut her finger and my mother got run over, I would get a plaster for my wife before phoning an ambulance for my mother.

I think that set him straight

Of course, fast forward a few years and something else went off and then they didn't speak at all for 15 years!

Not afraid to tell anyone to piss off, my parents

My point is (yup, I have one!!) that your husband needs to be passing that same message to his parents!

I think it's that PIL still think of your DH as being their baby. Of course PIL know that you are main people in DH life, but just for a moment, he forgot himself and was talking to his little boy.

Maybe? That's how I'd look at it.

FWIW when my PFB was 2 days old my DH's dad rang him and asked him to pop round to look at their computer. PIL didn't think twice, obviously they would be his first priority.

I told him to tell them to get stuffed.

My point is, I think it was a slip, don't worry about it. In a way it's nice they think of him as being so close.

Hectate really? Plaster before ambulance??

I wonder whether PIL's subtext was not that dh should still put them first and dw&dc second, but was thinking in terms of the fact that they would always be there for their son. And it came out all wrong!

I reckon it must be quite easy on the spur of the moment to forget that your dc have grown up and acquired partners & dc of their own.

I hate the phone anyway. Prefer email.

Well yes - I think it was the point about who matters most to him, rather than what he would do if that actually happened though!!! He was Passing A Message!

you're being childish

I think your in laws probably think they are more important than anyone else in your DH's life.

But what is important is what your DH thinks. Right?

You are being very childish and unreasonable. There is nothing to be upset about at all.

You are being very childish

Never use speaker phone.
Only bad things will come if it.
It is like eavesdropping.

Never use speaker phone.
Only bad things will come of it.
It is like eavesdropping.

That was so important, I felt it should be said twice.
With a slight spelling correction.

chukky your Dh couldn't pop out for half hour to help his parents out - really - you couldn't manage for that long really???? Did the 2 of you just sit and watch the baby 24/7