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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

- to be pissed off with ds's new school?

16 replies

JaceyBee · 09/07/2008 13:56

My ds (3) is due to start school this sept and we were pleased to get him in to a really nice one. There are quite a lot of kids starting in reception so they are splitting them up into 2 groups for the first 5 weeks. All ok except that my son is the only one from his pre-school in group 2, despite them asking him who his friends were and saying they would keep them together. Now all 8 or so kids from my ds's pre-school will start school together in group 1 and my ds won't know a single other child in his group. I asked the teacher if it would be possible to swap and she said no, because apparently they didn't get the info regarding what pre-school he went to early enough - I sent this form back a whole year ago when we were first looking around prospective schools, only to be told a while ago that they must have misplaced it and could I do another one!

Obviously the last thing I want to do is cause a massive stink and come across as one of those awkward parents who bitches about everything (I like to think I'm actually pretty reasonable), or get off on the wrong foot with the school before he's even started! Any advice from you wise women on how best to deal with this, if at all?

OP posts:
ChickenBurger · 09/07/2008 13:58

Oh I don't know but that sounds really unfair for your poor DS

ChopsTheDuck · 09/07/2008 13:58

I'd leave it. He is bound to move onto other friends in any case. You've asked and they've said no, so I don't think you will really achieve anything by kicking up a fuss now. I'm sure he will be fine. My oldest two have been in similar position several times and it is surprising how quick they make new friends at that age.

NotDoingTheHousework · 09/07/2008 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SparklyGothKat · 09/07/2008 14:00

My Ds1 and Dd2 went to a special needs nursery and then a mainstream school from reception onwards. they knew no-one as the other kids all were in the school's nursery. they got on fine and soon made new friends

tiredemma · 09/07/2008 14:00

Leave it. My Ds started reception last year that has two intake classes, he was the only one in the class that had no children form his nursery- it has made not one bit of difference to him- he has made lots of new friends in his new class.

Its not worth getting stressed about, honestly- he will be fine.

Twelvelegs · 09/07/2008 14:02

I wouldn't worry he won't notice his friends aren't there at aged 3. He will be in a better position to make lots of new ones too. When my ds started school I was able to write friends and I declined.

TheFallenMadonna · 09/07/2008 14:02

The same thing happened to DS and I felt the same as you, but the truth of it is I don't think it made much difference in the long term. Friendships are really fluid at this age. He will find his way.

HonoriaGlossop · 09/07/2008 14:03

I wouldn't deal with it at all TBH.

I mean it is annoying that they ask for this info then ignore what you said, but reception is ALL about settling in and making friends - that is what they're teaching for the first term basically, that and getting zips done up etc.

Your ds will be fine, honest! Loads of kids start school having gone to other pre-schools or not gone to pre-school, not knowing anyone. It's not as bad as it seems to you; kids are different and socialise differently to adults and can feel like they have known someone for ever after just one morning!

Sexonlegs · 09/07/2008 14:04

I would agree with the others. My dd1 knew no-one when she moved from preschool to reception and she has had no problems. I know other mums who have dc who have friends from preschool, and they are not mixing with any new children.

I can understand why you feel cross about it, but please don't worry.

canofworms · 09/07/2008 14:04

Opposite happened to my dd2 - she was put in a class with her bestest friend from nursery. Was really pleased as they were truly inseperable

12 months on they don't even talk to each other.....

Don't think it really matters at this age

whatdayisit · 09/07/2008 14:06

It really doesn't matter, it's a shame for you, if they said they would take his friends into account, but he really won't care less.

My DS2 went to nursery with almost all of his reception class and had 2 close friends. Within the first week they had been dropped for one of the only boys in the class who had been to a different pre-school.

ProfessorGrammaticus · 09/07/2008 14:07

It won't matter Jacey. I can completely understand why at this stage you would think it will, but it really really won't, as others have said.

MadBadandDangeroustoKnow · 09/07/2008 14:10

My dd started school a term after the only other child she knew there, so knew nobody in her intake. Within a week she was joined at the hip to her Best Friend Forever.

I know that, in prospect, this feels devastating, but I'm sure your ds will take it in his stride and soon find old and new friends.

rolledhedgehog · 09/07/2008 14:15

I know you are worried for him and I would have been too in your shoes but it is unlikely to be a problem I think. My DS started reception last year and his class was split into three groups. DS knew no one in this little group but he made new friends on the first day and instantly loved it. He went back to playing with his old pals after the settling in period but kept his new ones so it really worked out well. I am sure your DS will have a similar experience.

Original poster
JaceyBee · 09/07/2008 14:17

Wow, thank you all so much for your sensible advice. I think you're right, it's only for the first 5 weeks and will give him the opportunity to get to know the other kids too. Feel better about it now anyway, cheers everyone.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 09/07/2008 14:17

I know it seems unfair Jacey, but at this age they live pretty much in the moment and he will have a group of new friends before you know it

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