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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peeded off with my daugter's behaviour?

26 replies

itati · 08/07/2008 16:10

She only likes spaghetti pasta. I have made it for her tea with small pieces of other pasta to try. She refuses to eat her tea because I have put cheese on it. She likes this cheese. She has pushed her plate across the table and is winding up her brother's being rude to me and not doing as I asked. I have had enough. This is another episode in a long line of me not being able to get my children to behave.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 08/07/2008 16:11

how old is she?

nametaken · 08/07/2008 16:11

kids ages?

theinsider · 08/07/2008 16:12

Fine, no big deal. Take it away. No alternatives. Fruit between now and bedtime/supper if she's hungry.

Don't let the buggers see it matters to you.

3littlefrogs · 08/07/2008 16:12

how old is she?

notjustmom · 08/07/2008 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Collision · 08/07/2008 16:13

Just give it to her day in and day out and she will soon get bored of it.

DO NOT REACT.

ds2 only ate beans and egg and toast for 3 weeks.....he now eats everything

Lizzylou · 08/07/2008 16:13

Mine can be similarly annoying.
They fight over who gets the red plate, I buy another, then it's the Bob the BUilder one...
One day they love pasta, next time I serve it up they don't eat it...
Are they both preschoolers? Mine are and I'm hoping for a change in DS1's behaviour (although he's not as bad as DS2!) at least when he starts school in September.
Bloody annoying when you try so hard to please em and then they just moan, isn't it?

Original poster
itati · 08/07/2008 16:15

She is almost 5. I have said she has to stay at the table as she owuld want to get down and I also want her to see what pudding she is missing out on.

She has got incredibly fussy and I can't afford to throw food away. If she tried something and genuinely didn't like it, fine, but she was pleased it was pasta for tea and her strop is because of the cheese. Have to go, tormenting DS2.

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 08/07/2008 16:15

I would agree with others-don't react, just remove it and do not offer an alternative. If she is hungry before bedtime give fruit.

notjustmom · 08/07/2008 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jesuswhatnext · 08/07/2008 16:19

how old is she? - i would be inclined to remove tea, give her nothing else!!! (she will not starve to death in one night) simply ignore her! btw, i do know that is VERY hard, but ime it worked wonders, my dd is now 16 but i had a really hard time with her food wise, as a toddler, until my mum had her for a few nights and showed me that my little darling had me jumping through hoops just to get a jam sandwich into her - what i had to do was retake control, let her know that I was in charge and if the food offered was not accecptable to her then fine, but take it or leave it!

strangly, she did not allow herself to starve to death

3littlefrogs · 08/07/2008 16:22

Attention seeking. Offer small portions, so you don't have to waste too much). If she refuses to eat she is removed from table and ignored. It is not fair on her brother if she is allowed to remain at the table and torment him - she just gets even more attention that way.

Give it a week. She will soon get the message.

On no account discuss it, or try to persuade or cajole.

3littlefrogs · 08/07/2008 16:23

Meant to say - she doesn't get down to play. She gets down to sit quietly in her room.

bubblagirl · 08/07/2008 16:24

best to make tea as stress free as possible dont give things you know she will not eat put on another plate and let her try if she chooses to

my ds will not eat if i put cheese on it but will put it on himself and eat it fine by me as long as eating

and new foods i put on seperate plate so he can choose to try it

get her involved in meal times today were having this how would you like yours if you dont eat it then you get down from table then she has control but so do you she is offered choice and if still refuses goes without

Original poster
itati · 08/07/2008 16:26

I don't give her food I know she won't eat. She ate a huge plateful last week and we are talking a teaspoon of cheese.

She is now in her room after she told me she would kill me tomorrow for letting her brother get down now he had finished, and not her.

OP posts:
bubblagirl · 08/07/2008 16:31

lol sorry read it as though you knew she didnt like it its just to grab attention maybe you could get her to help you prepare food in some way and praise her when she sits down say dd helped cook this its lovely attention would then be positive and maybe she will be happy to eat

Pimmpom · 08/07/2008 16:33

Take deep breaths and go and make yourself a cuppa - she is 4 years old

Original poster
itati · 08/07/2008 16:34

And?

OP posts:
scottishmum007 · 08/07/2008 16:37

I personally would just offer fruit and yoghurt before bed and if she doesn't take it then tough, off to bed with her!
Teh more fuss you make the more they'll try and manipulate you. thats what I've found anyway...

Collision · 08/07/2008 16:38

I think you need to offer her different foods all the time to make her at least try a little.

I gave ds2 egg and beans and toast for 3 weeks but always offered him a little of what we were having.

I would say,'how do you know that today is not the day you will like carrots?' and he would try it and declare if it was indeed, a carrot day!!

Maybe make a buffet of things that she will and wont like and she can help herself and get a reward of a sticker if she tries something new.

Original poster
itati · 08/07/2008 16:41

Most days she eats okay. I know she likes spaghetti. I am not going to make different meals for her. They have a very varied diet and eat very well. She is going through an intensely stroppy phase.

OP posts:
lizziemun · 08/07/2008 16:44

Itati

She can have dinner with my 4.6yr old she is also fussy eats enough to keep a knat alive. It is soooooo frustrating when they won't eat what they ate last week.

I taken to cook a meals set minute timer on the cooker for 30mins and let her get on with it. Praise her when she has/is eating well and bite my tongue ignore when not. After the timer has beeped then i take it away. If she eaten most of it i give her a pudding of a youghat or fruit. If she eaten it all she get ice cream.

Collision · 08/07/2008 16:45

Am not sure if I know what the problem is then.

Is it just that she threw a fit because of the cheese?

Collision · 08/07/2008 16:46

sorry! didnt mean fit!

I meant a tantrum.

sorry

Original poster
itati · 08/07/2008 16:51

Yes, it is all about the cheese. She didn't even try it.

OP posts: