Received very strange phone call from an old and good friend this morning. She is "probably" getting married on Thursday, and could I come?
She lives a very long way away from me. The wedding is in the morning and there will be no reception. It will take me several hours to get there and get back. I know this is no excuse and I should support her, but I've got a million reservations rushing round my head.
I have two part-time jobs, which means that any time off can only be taken during down-time from one job, or by very advance arrangement. This Thursday is not advance arrangement. What is more, I'm due to start a very important project on Thursday and really need to be there. It involves others who are travelling in and I am in charge. It is being funded by a research body, which will take a dim view of postponement (which isn't feasible now anyway) or me ducking out for a day. This part of the project lasts ten days. This is also really important for my career (and me) as it's a proper research project - what I trained to do - and my academic career has had to take a back seat for various reasons.
I know I should support my friend and feel guilty, but there are also other issues at play. She is only getting married to fulfil a residence requirement to live abroad. To put it bluntly, I think she is making a huge mistake. Her fiance is not a nice person and I worry that he is isolating her from her friends/family by insisting on leaving the country. She is moving to a Muslim country where her freedoms will be restricted and I am actually frightened for her. This is partly why I want to show some support, but at the same time I don't particularly feel like celebrating what she's doing. The project and all that is making this worse.
I'll stop ranting now, as I've gone on enough. Please help me do the right thing, MNers...