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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that my dh should let me pick the bloody blinds????????????

26 replies

MummyAnnabella · 07/07/2008 16:48

story so far.....we go to interiors place look at hundreds of blinds and narrow it down to 2 fabrics. take books home where dh decides having already agreed on the 2 that he doesnt want either.

a week later interior man produces new fabric he says is compromise between what dh wants and what i want. we agree on compromise one. next day dh says no to it.

he is to take books back to interiors man a day or two later and i say if we cant agree just take books back and get no blinds for now and look agin in a few months. he comes home that night with the books again and says HAVE to pick one. i say i am still prepared to go with original 2 or compromise one. i say if you arent happy then none.

off he goes and orders compromise one. today (a week after ordered) he says he likes a chair. i say i like chair too but it is patterned and different to blind pattern and i may need to see sample of blinds next to chair to ensure no clash.

he says you got your choice of blinds and i say no i didnt i like the one we ordered but it wasnt what i would have ordered if solely down to me. he loses it and rings and cancels blinds.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 07/07/2008 16:52

it's window treatment .. is it worth getting so het up? really?

laidbackinengland · 07/07/2008 16:54

It sounds like the blind leading the blind....

laidbackinengland · 07/07/2008 16:54

Sorry

WigWamBam · 07/07/2008 16:55

Well ... it's his home too, and he has as much right to help choose as you do.

I think you're both behaving rather childishly, if truth be told.

MummyAnnabella · 07/07/2008 16:57

please laid back! that is not helpful! why on earth should a man get so het up abput bl**dy blinds??!! have i married a closet gay??

OP posts:
laidbackinengland · 07/07/2008 17:03

As WWB says - it's his house too.It's not a sexuality issue more an equality one ! Do you have final say on all the soft furnishings ?

Twiglett · 07/07/2008 17:07

laidback was funny though .. and I think that's what you both need to find .. your senses of humour

it is blinds

it is not important

go out and have a nice meal and a nice bottle of wine and laugh at yourselves fgs

Flibbertyjibbet · 07/07/2008 17:08

Sharing a home with someone is all about compromise though isn't it?
You like some things, your dh likes others. Being female doesn't make it ok for you to force your choices on someone. He is not a closet gay, he is a man who takes an interest in his surroundings and wishes to be surrounded by things that he likes.
So he compromised on the blinds and now wants his choice of chair.
Why are you getting so het up about it? Its just blinds!!!

If you like the chair too then whats the problem? If it clashes a bit with the blinds then put it at the other end of the room or in a different room.

This thread isnt' about blinds it seems to be about you wanting to have all your own way, sorry.

laidbackinengland · 07/07/2008 17:08

Or try curtains ?

Heifer · 07/07/2008 17:25

There are millions of designs of blinds out there - there MUST be one that you BOTH really like, you just need to keep looking.

No point in getting a compromise - you need a pair that both of you really like IMO.

In our house we only buy things that we both really like, if we can't see anything at the time we wait. Always get it in the end.

I have to admit that our taste have come closer together over the years so it is far easier these days, but in the past we have waited ages to find something we both really like.

MummyAnnabella · 07/07/2008 19:41

i dont have final say on anything and in fact he has had his choice with most of furniture in the house. anything i have picked he just moans about it for the rest of time which was why i said if you dont like them dont order them.

what is bugging me is him keeping changing his mind. plus we will never find one we both like as our taste is so different. this one had been agreed on as one we both liked and i cant believe we are back to square one.

it is a bit of a control thing with him - he has to control the decisions and i cant do anything without him having the final word.

OP posts:
robinia · 07/07/2008 19:42

I think the point is they BOTH compromised over the blinds so they should BOTH compromise over the chairs.

Not her dh thinking the blinds were HER choice so he chooses the chairs.

morningpaper · 07/07/2008 19:44

he DOES sound gay

does he ever notice posh shoes?

morningpaper · 07/07/2008 19:45

could you divide the house into two flats?

Alambil · 07/07/2008 19:45

What's wrong with plain beige or wooden blinds? Any chairs would go then

CarGirl · 07/07/2008 19:46

Control freak? Does he try to control everything you do?

MummyAnnabella · 07/07/2008 20:23

point is that i didnt even say we couldnt get chair i was just thinking out loud wondering if the 2 fabrics would go. i told him to go ahead and get chair and we could always try putting it on opposite wall from blinds. it was the comment that i chose the blinds when it had been both of us that i said wasnt right. he then said well if you dont like them i am cancelling them. i never said i didnt like them.

i would happily get plain blinds or wooden ones but he wants really dark ones eg chocolate brown.

i would happily divide up the house as it would mean i could have some say in some of it. we had 2 spare bedrooms to do and we couldnt agree - see a theme here? - so we agreed to do one each. he chose everything for his and when i chose for mine he said oh you cant do that one anymore as we now have a furnished spare (his choices) and we will leave that one until kids come along.

is that not a bit controlling? also art - when we moved in together he brought all his pictures and they are all up and he wouldnt let me bring any from my house as he said they didnt suit. they suit as well as his if not better.

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 07/07/2008 20:26

You are making a fundamental mistake here. DO NOT INVOLVE OR OTHERWISE CONSULT YOUE DH. Just order what you want.

MummyAnnabella · 07/07/2008 20:32

yes i now realise that that was the big mistake! and you can rest assured i will just go ahead in the future. none of my friends have this problem with their dhs they just go ahead and the dh never question it. why did i end up with the one who has to have a say in everythng?!

plus it is the mind changing that wears me down. another example is i am 6 months pg and we have picked babies name for ages and then this week he changes his mind again!

p.s. the pg may explain why i am so upset about the blinds!!

OP posts:
flossish · 07/07/2008 20:36

Dp likes to have a say in the house. I wish he wouldn't. It leads to rows which could just be avoided if he only did as he was told. Lots of rows could be avoided if he was subservient and didn't row though...

wonders why she has been battling the used car salesman all afternoon for payments towards the repairs for DP's dangerous new car because DP was too scared to and wonders where she is going wrong

deste · 07/07/2008 21:03

My friends husband is the same, has picked everything in the house and I mean everything then tells her she is not interested. She has given up and now couldn't care less. He is arrogant.

Quattrocento · 07/07/2008 22:20

My DH used to try to have a say in the curtains/carpets/furniture/pictures departments. Fortunately I cured him of this irritating habit. It just takes a year or so of firmness. Like establishing a good bedtime routine. The only thing is you really must not be halfhearted about it. If you relent even a little bit they'll start thinking they have a say again.

Lovesdogsandcats · 07/07/2008 22:31

God I could not share my life with a man who even gives a shit about blinds!

MummyAnnabella · 08/07/2008 13:03

thank goodness some of you understand! my dh is also more than a little arrogant. he just wants it all his way. i think i will have to try the training method - you can rest assured where it can be avoided he will not be consulted again.

i am so pissed off as he gets his own way all the time - today he got the tv delivered that he picked which was obscene amount of money at a tight time. it is huge and hideous and hung off centre and it annoys me every time i see it. but i havent said a word to him about it.

OP posts:
WilyWombat · 08/07/2008 13:09

I can appreciate your problem...I often wish my DH would just leave me to it - he just doesnt give any thought to the practicality of what he likes. i.e. will the children injure themselves on or wipe snot on what he likes. Strange thing is when he leaves me to it, even if he has reservations, he eventually admits I was right

Your DH does seem to be over-reacting a little.

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