to expect that ex-h will stop casting me in role of villain

[ladystardust]

because of error I made (not in marrying him in fist place - which would win all known awards for biggest error ever made) but because I acted to protect dd, it backfired and now he thinks he should act as big f*** hero to put it right thus siding against me.
(as you can tell too long a story to even try and precis...)
Feel like that line from something or other about will no one rid of this pestilent ex-husband!!

if you share dd you will never, ever, ever be free of him completely. and he will side against you, and you will side against him. But this is better than the alternative of still being married to him

without details it's impossible to know if yabu.and the fact is his side of this story would probably be identical to yours "my ex-w is useless with my kid etc"
so as i say,would need to know the facts of the matter to say wether or not yabu.

Well it just goes to show that you have to be very careful who you pro-create with. If he is of above average intelligence he will know that the best thing for his child is for her to love, respect and look up to her mum and he will protect her from the horrible mess that happens when a couple split up. If he is thick he will use her as a pawn against you.

Dp's ex is thick as shit and has spent years playing the poor me card. However as time goes on the truth is coming out and even her own mother is upset with her behaviour. But she still paints herself as the victim to anyone who will listen. She is gong to end up sad and lonely (if she is not already).

That is the best thing we can pass on to the dcs - 'be really REALLY careful' who you marry/choose to have kids with - you are going to live with this for the rest of your life'.

Definitely below average intelligence carmenere...

I held back information on a medical form and hoped I would get away with it thus saving dd from revisiting episode we all wanted to forget and move on from.
Apparently this is the worst crime ever perpetrated against a child in the history of mankind.
My actions were wrong but the resolving of it, in which other people made decisions based on other information (nothing to do with what i did or didn't say) is apparently also my fault.
I am being demonised, abused and bullied.
No wonder I didn't want to stay married...