Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To not want to be the street 'creche'?

23 replies

DoubleBluff · 06/07/2008 09:23

I have two DS's, there are a number of boys in the street of similar age and they almost always end up playing in my house.

Yeserday it was raining and i was a bit hungover tired.
My DS's and two neighbours boys had been in mine for about 3 hours.
I suggested they could go and play at someone elses.

'We can't play at mine, my brther is ill' says one.
'We can't play at mine my Mum has a baby' says other
(She did about 6 weeks ago)

If you can't return the favour i don't think you should send your kids to play at other peoples houses.
It was raining so they knew they couldn't play out either.

And great it is raining agin today...

OP posts:

colditz · 06/07/2008 09:25

I think you're being petty./

Original poster

DoubleBluff · 06/07/2008 09:27

I give them all drinks, biscuits, never normally complain, it would be nice if I could have a few hours off like my neighbours do.

OP posts:

whippet · 06/07/2008 09:31

You have my sympathies DB - we have something similar going on here in our street as all the kids are beginning to get to that 'playing out' age. It starts with just bikes and scooters in the road, but inevitably ends up with them all disappearing to one family's garden - where they have a trampoline.
I am really uncomfortable with this because
a) I don't want my kids to be involved in an accident with 5 kids on a trampoline, and I don't want the Mum to hate us.
Problem is, it's her kids who tend to invite ours. I usually go across and she always says it's 'fine', but if it was me I would be getting cross.

I hate it when they all end up at ours too, as I feel responsible, and since some of the kids are only 5 you have to keep a bit of an eye on them.

The Mums in the street have sort of agreed that everyone just ahs the right to 'no, you can't come in' and 'time to go home now' for whatever reason.

whippet · 06/07/2008 09:33

Forgot to say - on trampoline quickly leads to inside rampaging around

I don't think you're being petty at all DB - 4 boys in the house pretty much prevents me from getting anything done (noise, constant requests, intervening in squabbles etc etc)

What age are your kids?

nkf · 06/07/2008 09:35

I like havinga house full of kids. But if you don't like it you should stop it happening. If you are waiting for reciprocation and getting cross about it then don't do it.

colditz · 06/07/2008 09:41

You must send them home if you don't want them there.

I think assertiveness training should be part of the prenatal care package.

Ivegotaheadache · 06/07/2008 09:42

My dc's play with all the neighbours children in the street, but they don't play in each others houses. If it's raining they just stay in and as soon as it stops they all go out.
They have been in the house a few times, likewise mine have been in the neighbours houses, but I don't like it as all the neighbours end up in the house and it becomes a nightmare.
It's totally different if I've invited some of their friends over from school.

The kids do sometimes ask if they can come in and play (my dc's ask me) but ususally I say no!

If the children turn up at your house and expect to come in, just say sorry you can't come in today I'm doing lots of cleaning.
If it's raining, say that XX (your ds) can't come out but when it stops raining he'll come and knock for you.

Children just accept whatever you say.
It's more likely the other mums shoving their kids out to play in someone elses house to get a bit of peace!

whippet · 06/07/2008 09:43

LOL Colditz - you're absolutely right! In this situations I often find myself thinking, "er... who is the adult here, and what do I want to happen?" then just get on with it.

Ivegotaheadache · 06/07/2008 09:44

The garden is different, it's not a problem if they're all in the garden it's just not the same as the house.

TheRealPhartiphukborlz · 06/07/2008 09:50

i get annoyed by this.
mainly other parents are saying "no you can't come in"
and try and put my foot down.
if there is that rule for them, there is the same rule for me.
we had a huge problem on the estate where we lived before so now i am stronger.
however dd aged 8 is currently pulling my strings, with her little friend wandering in behind her.

Original poster

DoubleBluff · 06/07/2008 09:50

Most of the time I don't mind at all. But what annoyed me yesterday was parents had obv sent lids out saying ' you can't all play here, becuase x,y,z'

And to top it all off i sent them home about 5 for tea, an hour later they were knocking again.
And yes I did send them home.

I wish i lived in splendid isolation!

OP posts:

TheRealPhartiphukborlz · 06/07/2008 10:01

on the other hand it is handy when you would like your own dc's to play out with friends

Original poster

DoubleBluff · 06/07/2008 10:07

It is fab when they all play out ( weather permitting) they have a great time.

Just hoping they can play out so i can watch the Wimbldon final!

OP posts:

TheRealPhartiphukborlz · 06/07/2008 10:10

i should be so luck

colditz · 06/07/2008 10:23

Well, can't you say no?

Like, they knock on the door and say "Can I play with your Ds?" and you say "not today dear" and close the door?

Original poster

DoubleBluff · 06/07/2008 10:26

Yes I can.
If you read my last post I did when they returned yesterday after being sent home.

If my DS's had been at somones house all afternooon, were sent home, I cetainly wouldn't send them back again at 6 in the evening!

OP posts:

Original poster

DoubleBluff · 06/07/2008 10:28

And they won't be in here today either.

I am assertive. I don't normally mind kids playing in my house, what riled me yesterday is that other parents are happy to send their children to play at mine but obv telling their Dc's that they can't play at their houses.

God if the sun wa sout i wouldn't have this problem! Bloody rain!

OP posts:

colditz · 06/07/2008 10:40

Did they go home or did they just bugger off, I wonder. We have a couple of boys who call round for ds1, and they tend to turn up for hours. There mum doesn't cope fabulously and she does just sling them out and tell them to come back before dark. The area is safe, and the older one is 10, it's not my way of doing things but they are happy with the arrangement - but it means they are frequently here and my son never ever goes round there (because I won't let him). I used to let them stay as long as they wanted but it got to the stage where they were here 12 hours a day and I couldn't afford to keep feeding them.

Original poster

DoubleBluff · 06/07/2008 10:46

No went back home.

Just get fed up cos other kids are here most of time, parents never come and get them, never check that their DC's are actually here (?).
Like i sadi most times i don't mind but yesterday just wasn't in the mood.

Sun is coming out - fingers crossed!!

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 06/07/2008 11:02

well, tbh, I think times when you have a new baby (6 week old baby is no piece of cake) or an ill child, are the times when it would be nice to be cut a bit of slack and helped out by your neighbours

in an ideal world of course

then if you are having a bad week hopefully the favour will be reciprocated

but of course if they are coming round when it isn't convenient for you, you must tell them to go home
don't feel bad about that, it's perfectly reasonable

Ripeberry · 06/07/2008 11:24

It's the same here, my DD1's best friend is a little boy from a couple of doors down and he has been coming over in the afternoons since he was at playschool and only 3yrs old.
He will be 7 this year and to be honest he is starting to annoy me as he is always trying to "do things" to DD2 and its not nice.
Also, another neighbour has started letting her two boys out to play in the street, aged 5 and 3 and they usually try and come in as well.
But i've put my foot down as they are little thieves as they only came over a couple of times and i found the 5yr old creeping around upstairs with loads of toys under his T-shirt, trying to sneak out (always lock the front door) and the younger one, just kept jumping up and down on the fishpond grid, even the 7yr old has never done this.
So i tell them all now that if they want to play with DD1 they all have to go outside.
What angers me the most though, is that the sister of the 7yr old, sometimes comes to our house as late as 9pm! to ask if he is at our house!
That's right, they have no idea where he is and when i say he's not here, they roll their eyes because they have to actually find him!

Ripeberry · 06/07/2008 11:27

And the best one was a couple of evenings ago.
A kid that i had NEVER set eyes on before asked if a girl whom i had NEVER heard of before was at my house!
I mean WTF? Anyway, it was because they were cousins of the 7yr old boy and they were looking for him as the sister was with him.
They found them eventually, they had been hidding in the hayfield.

TsarChasm · 06/07/2008 11:31

Agree you have to take control. Tell 'em to 'oppit. You don't have to apologise or give reasons. They've had a play. Bye bye.

I have learnt this the hard way btw

Flip