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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to have a break even if its for 5 mins????

7 replies

lexilex · 06/07/2008 07:20

hey all, i need your hlp, dp broke his leg 7 weeks ago, since then i have have sorted the kids 24/7, done the shopping every week, sorted the house, organised money, and looked after him whilst he has stayed in bed all day and gone out all night, ( and i mean all night some nights!!!) also we were offered a council house which weve waited 5 years for but is completely minging so ive been decorating that too for the last week,

anyway yesterday he was looking through my phone and found a txt from facebook saying i had a wall post from a mates dp which had the message on there with a "x" on the end and he started to ask lot of q's about this message and who it was from, he started to demand that he was to go through all my facebook stuff, i told him the message was from my mates dp and that i had not sent him any message beforehand, but he still said he wanted to look through my fb, i said no because i think he was overreacting and being unreasonable then he started to slag of my friend and her dp even though he doesnt know them and has made no effort to get to know them ( he hates all my friends!!! but doesnt make any effort to get to know them )

i have always been very open about my fb before and he has looked through it lots of times before ( even though i havent liked it ) but i am starting to get quite defensive about the way he demands to look through it.

i can see where his insecurities come from because 2 years ago i caught him kissing his bestmates wife whilst i was pg with 2nd lo, (i was 8 weeks pg ) and i think he thinks i will do the same to get bk at him, but im not that shallow i will not stoop to his level. but that still doesnt make up the fact that he demands to look through my stuff like that is it?
is he trying to control my life? (has he a right too?) if he is i am trying not to let him but its so hard. i dont know what to do anymore!!!

OP posts:
lizziemun · 06/07/2008 08:29

YANBU

Sorry to say but he is guilty of something and trying to put all his guilt on to you.

Why and where is staying when he goes out all night.

If he was my dh he would not be staying in bed all day if he is able to go out at night.

Tell him you want to look through his phone and FB (if he has one) and i bet you he want let because he has something to hide.

2point4kids · 06/07/2008 08:35

So he cheated on you, lets you do everything at home and disappears off all night and then he accuses you of cheating??

Sounds like an idiot.

If you really want to keep him then talk to him and explain that all this has got to stop now.
If it was me I'd change the locks when he went out one night and that'd be the end of it!

Sufi · 06/07/2008 08:53

YABNU and he has no right whatsoever to go through your personal things. I often sign emails and texts with an 'x' and it means nothing - just that I'm being friendly.

He sounds like he has real issues and is taking them out on you. You, on the other hand, sound like a saint. You're doing so much for him and instead of being grateful he's accusing you of being unfaithful.

And yes, I'm also curious as to why he has to stay in bed all day but can then go out all night... personally, I wouldn't be happy about that at all.

Stick to your guns. Don't be bullied. You sound like an amazing, loving and caring wife and mother.

ladymariner · 06/07/2008 08:59

As with the others, where does he go when he stays out aall night? That is what I would want to know and he could forget staying in bed all day.
Why are you allowing him to behave like this? He sounds extremely domineering and a bully, You are def nbu and no way should you have to put up with this!

nametaken · 06/07/2008 13:15

YANBU - kick his sorry arse out for good.

LoveMyGirls · 06/07/2008 13:20

I would be moving into the council house without him, sounds like it would be a fresh start for you. You don't need to be his slave and then put up with his shit tbh.

You obviously work hard for your family, you are devoted and caring and if he can't see that then imo he doesnt deserve you.

What does he offer you in return for your hard work? Has he said thank you for looking after him etc? Has he got any good points at all?

hascas · 06/07/2008 18:54

Bin him. YANBU.

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