I am usually on the opposite side of discussions like this but...

[seeker]

.....here goes! Our nephew is 15, and lives in Dubai. Last night we got a phone call from him at 10.30. He was at Heathrow, having just flown in on his own on a plane that was actually due in at about 7. The plan was that he would get the Heathrow Express into London then get the train up to Yorkshire to stay with friends. But he realized that he had probably missed the train up North and vey sensibly rang us. Dp did the 3 hour round trip to collect him. Apparently the contingency plan was that he was to go into London, find a police officer and ask to be directed to a hotel.

Does this strike anyone as a sensible thing to expect a 15 year old to do? And, on a scale of 1-10, how furiousl woould you be with SIL when you see her next? We are the nearest relations to Heathrow, and we didn't even know he was coming. We could have been away for the weekend, or, more likely, we could very well both have drunk half a bottle of wine so not be ale to collect him...

I'm with you seeker - I would not send a 15 yr old to London with no contingency plan should his plane be that late. I'd be very cross!!

Agree with LL, thank god he is sensible and thought to ring you.

I would not go to London on my own (but I am a wuss ) let alone send a 15 year old there on his own.

Your SIL could have at least given you a heads up re his plans just so that you were aware.

Good grief, does she honestly think a hotel will babysit a 15 year old? Because that's legally what it is - babysitting. If he had gone to a police officer and told the whole story, he'd have spent the night in bloody foster care!

I know there is a huge range of maturity for a 15 year old, but alone in a foreign country a 15 year old is a child. That God he has his own head screwed on!

That is certainly not an adequate contingency plan! It sounds an awfully complicated journey for an unaccompanied teen, but he is clearly mature enough and sensible enough to deal with it.

The contingency plan should have been to inform you of his travel plans and make sure you're available at the time he was due to pass through London.

My parents have been in the contingency plan in the past, when friends of theirs had kids passing through London, and have rescued the youngsters from Heathrow or Central London overnight.

oh good. I am usually the person saying "Of course they should be allowed to do x,y and z" - it feels very strange to be on the other side of the arguement! Bizarrely, we were camping on a family campsite the summer before last, and sil wouldn't let dn (then 13) go to the loo on his own "because you never know what will happen"!

Sorry to go on, but what a genuinely demented thing to do!

YANBU. Contingncy houdol have been to gt a taxi at the airport to the Novotel or seomehting. There are airport hotels - shock horror. Sounds like the lad took his own initiative - good for him. But relly teh most sensible thing to have done would be to discuss iwth you in advance and find out if you would have been happy to be the contingency.

If I were you, I would focus on how sensible he was to phone you, and how lucky that you could collect him when you are talking to your SIL. Also say that they should have let you know in advance and you would have been happy to be the contingency - as finding a policeman in London is not as easy as it sounds.

YANBU

Hmmm.

Have you spoken to SIL? Is your nephew being entirely honest? Did she give him lots of taxi fare which he is intedning to keep, maybe?

It's very strange to go from that helicoptery to strangely detatched from the realities of safety.

Sorry about typing - stupid wireless keyboard

Have you spoken to your SIL to say he is with you?

given her previous protectiveness over him, is it not a bit out of character for her to let him do this. Is there any chance he has run away and this is just the story he has spun you?

If she has sanctioned this without letting you know he would be in the country and that you might get a call if his plans went awry is just plain nuts.

same thoughts LL.

I would be livid. She is mad.

Thank goodness he had the sense to ring you.

I thought of that, colditz. He has got plenty of money with him -enough for a novotel or travel lodge type hotel but not enough for anything near Heathrow that he could find at 10.30 at night. And where could he have taken a taxi to?

Yes - we texted as soon as we heard from him (phone lines are very unreliable) She texted back to say that she had told him to find a hotel room if he was delayed because she thought it was too far to expect us to drive to pick him up!

i think you need to find out whats happening from her side too before judging. sounds fishy to me

Does seem strange, in UK a lot of DCs are not allowed to go to school on their own until they are quite old and she sends her DS on a flight without an contingency plan.

Does he fly quite often? Perhaps she thought that he is such a frequent flyer that he would be ok?

before reading this thread, not sure i wouldve seen the point of a contingency plan for a 15yo travelling. i would have assumed he would call me and i wouldve come up with something, if anything had gone wrong. and id have put him on the plane no doubt, so wouldnt have expected a 4 hour delay in landing...

No youre not being unreasonable! Lucky the lad was sensible enough to ring you! There is no way I would let a 15 YO roam around london looking for a policeman and a place to stay for the night even if I lived in London, never mind if I lived so far away. Anything could happen to anyone walking the streets at that time of night. I'd let SIL know your feelings on the matter, hopefully she will realise her plan B wasnt the best and make sure to plan better next time!

definately bonkers then!