Grrrr. For the umpteenth time.. . . .

[WinkyWinkola]

This is boring but I'm venting some mild spleen.

I'm a student / SAHM. DH works as a solicitor. He wouldn't quibble the fact that we both put in our hours of work.

But why at the weekend, am I the one still grafting away, doing all the usual chores whilst he has a nap on the lawn? It really gets my goat that I work seven days a week and he works 5.

And why, when I ask him to help, does he gets shirty, saying I don't ask nicely and I'm not a nice person because of this. I can sound irritated because I have to keep asking him and it's not like any of the work I'm doing is new to him.

Now, he gets ratty when he has to ask DS to do the same thing over and over so he should understand where I'm coming from with my irritation.

Sigh. I've just asked him to do something and because I didn't ask nicely, we've had a row and he's just stomped off upstairs to bed. And DS is running after him, trying to get him to read a story.

AIBU to go on strike? Or do I have PMT? This is a prehistoric, childish concern, isn't it?

YANBU.

Look, he's a solicitor - put it to Mr Sulkypants like this: You have two major responsibilities outside of taking care of your own wellbeing: caring for your child and studying. He has his full time job. You have two jobs - being a SAHM and a student. He needs a break to do his job effectively. As do you. SAHM does not mean you're a full time housekeeper and handyman as well. He still has to chip in. You aren't pulling an income right now, but by caring for your child you are saving money (and providing optimal care). By studying, you're increasing your buture income potential.

I don't know how tight money is for you, but is there any possibility you could have someone come sort your house out for you once a week, or twice a month, with both you and your DH picking up and tidying in between?

If you have to ask him to help then it's assumed that the whole thing is your responsibility and he is helping you. But he's not helping you, he's doing his share of your joint work. He needs to think of what needs doing and do it, not wait to be asked, nicely or otherwise.

Well, if he pulled his weight, we'd manage fine.

I'm going out now for some much needed shopping. He's upstairs with the DCs having just been woken up by me telling him to contribute to our family unit.

He goes on and on about how much he loves to spend time with his DCs but all he does is sleep or slump in front of the TV. That's because of the six beers he drank last night btw not because he's killing himself with graft at the office at the moment.

I feel like I'm having to constantly chivvy and nag to get anything done so we can get out of the door for an afternoon out with the DCs. It's far easier without him around TBH. Except for the money he brings in of course!

I hate it too. DH is now ignoring me. and

I did. I went out and came back 2.5 hours later, feeling v. depressed.

Heard DH shouting at DS (who is being very trying at the moment) and came in to find DS in tears, DH up to his elbows in suds (amazing!) and DD (15 mos) covered in stickers.

We're still frosty though. Never mind. It'll be fine until next time DH is not working as a team.

Know where you are coming from, we go around in cirlces always ending up in this place.

Me 'nagging' him not pulling his weight.
GEts better after a row but slowly spirals back down.

Don't know waht the answer is but each time become more and more resentful.