to vent ...feel free to ignore...

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DH is a lovely dad, unless extremely tired, then he 'retires...'

He is a good provider financially.

He is generally good at organising things and I wouldn't be without him.

He is also an excellent step-dad.

BUT MY GOODNESS I am feeling V V V unreasonable today because he does live like a pig, only they're probably a bit tidier.

He doesn't have the first clue about keeping things tidy or clean or well preserved and is now starting to pass these crap tendencies onto DS, infact, actively encouraging them and when I say anything the response is 'well, he's a boy' as if that somehow precludes him from the ability to not fecking mess everything up, break things, or staying relatively clean when eating eg NOT having an entire wheetabix mushed over him from head to toe and rubbed into the carpet and sofa...

He sounds dreadful.

I won't ignore you.

The stuff you are doing for your DH (like cleaning up after he goes to the loo and picking up his tissues) is simply awful and it's no wonder it drives you insane. If he was ten I would have some sympathy with him but he is a grown man.

He sounds like he is by nature a very messy person and he may simply not see the mess, but he needs to start thinking of you and making a concerted effort. Could you go out for a meal/coffee and have a chat about it in an environment where he can't rant and rave?

Patsy

You should really discuss this with him, as he seems to genuinely not know that it is driving you crazy.

Sounds horrendous. I couldn't live like that. Time to figure out what does matter to him and retaliate. You also need to speak to him and the two of you providing a united parenting front.

He has always been messy, even when we first dated, so, 10 years on it's not as if it's a shock, and I know when he was a child his mum always had a cleaner (her husband was/is messy too ) so he's never really learn t how to deal with things.

He's just taken the kids out so I can have a 'rest'...and tidy up the house, he does have some redeeming features, but OMG it just gets a bit wearing at times.

Oh his latest thing bitch bitch bitch is to moan at anyone who leaves a mostly empty thing in the cupboards / on the side eg shampoo, ketchup, BUT he's left 10 1l empty juice cartons all over the kitchen and another 3 in the spare room by the computer.

I just thought that now I was an adult I wouldn't live like a student anymore IYSWIM

Should I write a book perhaps of funny anecdotal stories...

Thanks for advice, nice meal and diplomatic head on could make a difference, also need to keep focusing on being nice about the good stuff he does do, the 'oh I love it when you help with the...'rather than the fish wife approach I'm in grave danger of resorting to today...

He would drive me to getting a cleaner I think.