AIBU to be cross because DDs school expect 4 and 5yo to attend a performance at 7pm.

[hellbell]

Grrr! My 5yo is taking part in a compulsory performance at school next week. Which is great, but we weren't consulted about when and where. The ticket forms were sent out stating that the performances were at 7pm, 2pm and 7pm on a Tuesday and Wednesday. Seeing as the reception are so young I assumed (I know I shouldn't have done) that they would be excused the evening performances. There has been no communication about this and my DD is flat out in bed by 6.45 and an absolute nightmare when tired. Obviously we would have to leave her with the teachers for the duration, but I am not sure how she will be. The added dimension is that I am T+10 days and the baby is imminent. So I spoke to a mum with older children at the school and she said that they were expected to be there. So much for communication. What do you think?

poor planning by whoever organised this.

probably thought they were doing a good deed by letting parents have time to get home from work and have dinner first.

I would have thought evening performances for this age group would be really rare! Certainly not come across it down our way...and I think the teachers are brave or foolhardy to want to spend the ENTIRE day with a bunch of hyper but exhausted reception year right up till 9pm or whatever!

Some might say I suppose 'it's only a couple of nights, it will be an experience, they'll cope'

but I know for some parents it just wouldn't be worth it - I certainly wouldn't hae sent ds to an evening performance in reception year. He was tired enough with normal days.

Also they have been lax with communicating this to you; many parents won't be able to logistically do it if they have younger kids and babies to get to bed.

sounds bizarre.

though i guess as yvonne said maybe it's been done as parents complain so much about not being able to get time off work to attend daytime things!

I guess they can't do right for doing wrong....

When you say you "weren't consulted" about when and where, what do you mean? Schools don't usually conduct a survey as to opinions on concert times. I expect that this is just what they are used to doing. Although I agree that it does seem ridiculously late for reception children. And if it is something they do every year, then I'm surprised it hasn't been raised as an issue before. If your DD is one of a crowd in the performance, I would pen a note to the teacher, citing extenuating circs (impending childbirth!!) and asking for DD to be excused this time. Whilst they probably do "expect" children to be there, there will always be a significant few who can't be.

Hi yvonnek thanks for your view. I haven't got a problem with the performances being at 7pm, as I understand that it is a perfectly reasonable time for grown ups and older children. I am a little miffed because the parents of the youngest children, some of whom, me included, are new to the school, weren't told about the fact that all children were expected to be there at that time, including young ones.

don't go - you've got a good reason - it's not compulsory - what if she was sick?

Thanks clam thanks HG. I mean that we weren't told that the all children would be expected at all performances. I would usually speak to the teacher, but it is Friday night and I needed to get away from school quickly!

i'd be miffed to

you need to take it up with the school, politley ask why so late.

perhaps some parents in year above debated in a parents meeting to have it put later.

cant say i'd give to consent.

you should definately ask why there wasn't any info about the concert given out with the consent forms.

time and date are pretty basic info!!

as i said, poor organisation.

that could be your get out claus.

unless you wanna get your dh to run your dc to nurseryfor rest of the week and you can fake labour just before show is to start. lololol

As cups said, you don't have to do it, esp if your DD is always asleep at 6.45pm. You are under no obligation to take your DCs to out of school activities.

Just have a quiet word with the teacher and explain.

You may be on to something there yvonnek! Don't make me laugh too much, I might go into labour! LOL

i can see it now. your lying in the bath balancing maltesers on your bump.

shouting down the phone

"sorry . . . cant make it, my waters just broke, can you hear me splashing about in the puddle"

yvonnek how did you know that I could comfortably manage a BIG box of maltesers on the gigantic bump? I knew coming on MN would cheer me up! I hope that the sound of DH laughing doesn't give it away!

shove a handfull of maltesers in his mouth to stifle laughter

wait . . thats a waste of good chocolate

Ah yes! I suppose I should just shove another handful of maltesers into my mouth and send DH out for another box of chocs. The options are endless. Your plan is faultless and one of genius!

good luck when he/she arrives.

hope you dont plan on calling the dc damien

My dd was in a ballet perfomance at xmas- she is nearly 4 BTW. The little ones were on first so they could leave after they had done their bit. Could you mention this to the school for next time?
Ps Good luck for dc2- were you on time with DD?

yvonnek thanks for good luck message. You can probably tell that I will need it! Damien...mmm.
marryandmad good idea. I think that I will just gently explain the situation and keep DD back unless things are too manic here and she can have a snooze at school!
My DD1 was a week late. This one has beaten her record! Have a good day!

I would have thought most parents would be grateful for 7 pm perfomances as it means the majority of mums and dads can attend without having to try to take time off work!!

I think it is a bit daft having a performance at 7pm for 4 & %yr olds - how long is the peformance - must only be 30mins at tops for that age ? or is it the whole school up to age 11 ?

I bet the teachers are happy about having to stay on in the evening !

Dare I ask - is this a state or private school ?

I wouldn't go - this time of year the children are getting really tired as end of term approaches and I think you have a valid reason not to take her .

Surely at 4 or 5 years old there are occasions when bedtime isn't 7pm . Holidays, xmas, parties etc etc. It's not as if this performance is every day, just a one off, I'd have thought most 4/5 year olds would love the thrill of staying up late at school for something like this.

No such thing as compulsory when it's out of school hours. It's up to you if you send them, but you're not unreasonable to be cross or to not send her. One night would have been a stretch, but two nights? They're completely out of order.